˚⊱ᵀʰᵉ ᴮʳᵒᵏᵉʳ⊰˚
banner
the-brok3r.bsky.social
˚⊱ᵀʰᵉ ᴮʳᵒᵏᵉʳ⊰˚
@the-brok3r.bsky.social
|| « Parody/Roleplay Account

|| « Not affiliated with Boggio whatsoever!

|| « 100% Not a dumb idiot

|| « Escapee of the banlands

|| « He/Him

|| « DNI IF YOU: Came here for Nsfw, ship adults with minors (FUCK YOU.), are a proshipper

|| « 42 Years (IC)
Pinned
|| Soo.. can someone let me out?
|| « CRAP! I FORGOT SOMETHING. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO THOSE.. WHO'S NAMES DON'T SPELL BANHAMMER OR KATANA! Merry Christmas to my family... Wait who else have I forgot? Probably fine. » ||
December 25, 2025 at 5:31 AM
|| « You know what I want for Christmas? FREEDOM. I need t' see my family again. » ||
December 20, 2025 at 12:27 AM
|| « And remember! If they still don't treat'cha with respect...

Bury them in a ditch.
Do it.
Show no respect back.

AHEM...
Anyways..
No doctor can diagnose your level of.. uniqueness! That's the word!

don't ever let them tell you wrong.» ||
" People need to value you more! You've got a special case of being unique, so let them know you deserve respect! C: -🪙 "
December 19, 2025 at 1:37 AM
|| « What day is it?

THE WARDENS BIRTHDAY?

OHH BANNY YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS..

You get punched 47 times BECAUSE your no-longer 46!

I think. You never tell me Anything.
December 18, 2025 at 2:10 AM
|| « I'm so proud of my children
December 18, 2025 at 12:32 AM
|| LET ME OUT OF THIS CAGE- GOOD LORD IT SUCKS. litteraly I've been called a Dumb idiot by the zone itself. ||
December 17, 2025 at 11:13 PM
|| Banhammer is secretly a spider. I just have no way to prove it. ||
December 17, 2025 at 6:29 PM
|| Now that I think about it, what does a snowman look like now. I haven't seen one due to the fact it NEVER SNOWS IN THE BANLANDS. ||
December 14, 2025 at 11:11 PM
|| Soo.. can someone let me out?
December 6, 2025 at 12:18 AM
|| You know... I have PHUCKING thought about launching katana Into a wall lately, what do you think?

And of course, I am still alive! (Haven't been captured by Banhammer again..Not again!) ||
December 6, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Still convinced medkits horns taste like lime and he isn't telling me.

So rude..
December 4, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Oh sure sure, a DAD! What splendid excuse!

I don't recall hearing about a dad of yours, Banny.

I'm still convinced your adopted!
I LOOK MORE LIKE MY DAD. SHUT UP >:(
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT, BANNY! YOU LOOK ADOPTED!
December 3, 2025 at 9:48 PM
I need to raise enough money for my family, I SWEAR I HAVE ONE!

It's just my families currency is the Brokercoin!

That coin is 100% Legitimate and NOT illegal!

Trust me.
December 3, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Mr claus said I'm on the morally ambiguous list. It's a strange way to say good, hm?
December 3, 2025 at 1:02 AM
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT, BANNY! YOU LOOK ADOPTED!
December 3, 2025 at 12:23 AM
I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT THIS WOMAN IS BANHAMMERS MOTHER.
November 30, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Every single time I think of the teal trio I think of how the broker pulled Scythe.

Even I don't know how I did that!

Also here is my...beautiful magnificent son who I'm not planning to chuck at someone walking peacefully to their job!
November 30, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Ok pause. Imagine banhammer, In a pink tutu, And a pink tiara. Sounds pretty cool. Call him Princess Banny!
November 30, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Shall I or shall I not note that down?
BANHAMMER IS IN HIS 46 YEARS OLD AND HIS SPAWNDAY IS DECEMBER 18TH

(CANON INFO BTW)
November 30, 2025 at 4:31 AM
WHY DID I SUDDENLY GET THE THOUGHT OF

' hey the broker would totally have a pet rat named the letter B!'

NO HE WOULD NOT.....
MY BRAIN IS MELTING HELPPP
November 30, 2025 at 2:19 AM
You have no idea how much I want to bite into these. They make it look so edible..
November 30, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Loving how small the Zuka plushie is compared to me.
WAAAAAAAH THE ZUKA PLUSHIE IS SO CUTE

#phighting
November 30, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Dear Banhammer,

Windforce may be launched into the solar system.

Soon.

Maybe now?

Perhaps!

Sincerely, The broker
November 30, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Washing machine exploded, Apparently the only shirt I could find??
November 30, 2025 at 2:03 AM