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The Art of Asty

@theartofasty.bsky.social

11K followers 360 following 2.1K posts

Surrealist painter 🇲🇽🏳️‍🌈 Socials, store, and patreon: http://linktr.ee/TheArtofAsty email: [email protected]

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · Jul 22

An extremely important message to all my followers.
I know it's a fuckload of text, but please, bear with me

Hi
I need to come forward about something to all my loved ones, friends, acquaintances, supporters and audience.
My mental state has been on a steady and consistent decline for the past 2-3 years
things have gotten so bad that these days I hardly have the will to do anything, and I mean, anything.
I often starve myself for 1 or 2 days at a time because I just don't have the energy or will to cook for myself, I will only eat when the headaches have gotten too unbearable or when I'm going through some emotion I'm trying to drown out with food, so I will go from starving myself for several days to binge eating, which is how I've managed to continue gaining weight.
I struggle so much at cleaning both myself and my living space that I've developed constant rashes because of showering only once or twice a week, only doing so more often when I'm going to see other people because I can't stand the idea of anyone perceiving me in this state of disrepair. There's currently two garbage bags sitting open in my living room and there's still somehow assorted trash littered throughout my apartment, I can only gather the energy to clean the apartment when I'm supposed to receive visits, and even then it has gotten so hard that I have just started to avoid visits more and more.
As many may have noticed, my artistic output has also come to a screeching halt.
The last full painting I managed to will myself into finishing was almost a year ago. since then I've only been able to complete a handful of charcoal sketches, with more and more time passing between them, and yet I still have to keep pushing myself to taking new commissions that I'm struggling to even start, because, well, I need to eat. I make about 70 dollars a week from handling finances at my mother's small business, which is just enough to be able to afford food for myself and my cats, but I also have to pay the light, internet, water and credit card bills (these last ones currently have a $2000 debt that I accrued through…

This period has also been littered with a litany of personal tragedies, I've lost more friendships than I can count due to my erratic and unstable behavior, and the few I still have I feel slowly but surely drifting away, I lost my oldest cat that I had since I was 15 to circumstances that I still blame myself for, and another one of my cats has twice gotten dangerously ill, which I had to pull through with the help of fundraising efforts and more credit card debt in order to save him.
I injured my back thanks to being fat and having Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and I often find myself completely bedridden for weeks due to pain so bad that standing, walking or sitting becomes a fantasy.
I've lost a massive chunk of my audience both to several bans from the fascist leadership at twitter dot com and the complete lack of new artistic output in months, which has made it increasingly difficult to continue making any money from my art, both from passive income off of print sales and patreon, as well as from selling commission work.
I've become more and more isolated, I push my friends and loved ones away because I just, legitimately feel like their lives would be better off without me in it, and I know that the lives of the many who have cut ties with me are now better thanks to not having to deal with this absolute mess.
I'm dangerously mentally ill, I have Borderline Personality Disorder that I've been battling since I can remember, and good god, it is a fucking lonely fight, I promise you that if you don't have this disease you couldn't even begin to understand the kind of absolute nightmare that it is, there's a reason it has such a high suicide attempt rate. I've gone through therapy in this period too, I did get better, but as soon as the program ended, I could sense myself slipping back into the hole because I simply lacked the resources to maintain the progress long term. The suicidal behavior has come back, it's creeping in the back of my mind every day, I've thankfu…

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 3d

Plushies don’t usually get intestinal blockages that cost a thousand bucks to fix 😆

The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 3d

Society would massively improve if nobody talked about her ever again

The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 3d

The fluffy

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 6d

the souls games obviously didnt invent civilizational collapse themes lol but they popularized the laser focus on it in modern videogames, parsing through dead or dying worlds that are stuck in perpetual stagnation is very much a thing that the HK games inherited from the souls games

The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 6d

what makes Hollow Knight and Silksong soulslikes, more than the difficulty or the combat or parries or dodging, its their consistent and continuous theme of civilizational collapse and grotesque abuse of power from those at the top of the power hierarchy.

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 7d

how do you guys dispose of knives safely? I have some very old knives with extremely degraded handles that I want to replace, but I've been hesitant on throwing them away cuz throwing straight knives into the trash sounds extremely dangerous for the people handling it

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 7d

Thank you! i actually did watch for that and took a few shots with different angles and poses from the mantis, and this was my favorite haha

The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 7d

inb4 Paimon gets mad at me

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 7d

its a win win situation truly

The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 7d

technically not catholics only, but catholics are 86% of our population, and most of the other 14% is various other christian denominations, and garbage bins, especially nice, big ones, do get stolen frequently, so this is my current strategy lol

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 7d

modern problems require... surprisingly archaic solutions

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 7d

Putting devil symbols on my garbage bin to disuade the catholic majority in my country from stealing it

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

Katydids are so sweet, it’s always a joy when I find one

The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

She was actually, she bit me cuz I interrupted her meal, which was another one of my mantis that she escaped her enclosure to eat lmao

The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

Dragonflies can also technically bite but just like mantises they have no reason to unless you’re prey haha

The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

Bro jumped on my face

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

I used to breed and raise them when I was younger and in all that time I only ever got bit once by a female that was unusually aggressive to anything that moved, I nicknamed her The Wolf lol

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

EXTREMELY rarely, and even when they do it just feels like a light pinch, they don’t produce any kind of venom

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

Amazingly chill for a limbata male, these guys tend to be super skittish and shy, especially when not captive raised

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

Look what just waltzed into my bedroom

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

They did a stellar job honestly, her recovery has been so far steady and with zero complications, and her wound is healing perfectly well

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Reposted by The Art of Asty

Gretchen Felker-Martin 🍉 @scumbelievable.bsky.social · 8d

My friend Sama'a and her husband have two small children to feed in the middle of a warzone, and every dollar helps. Please give what you can.

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

You wouldn’t even know she had recent surgery if her belly wasn’t shaven and had the stitch points still on the incision lol

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 8d

She really is chilling like nothing happened meanwhile I’m sick like a dog cuz my immune system crashed with the stress of her medical emergency lmao

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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 9d

Couldn’t be more right tbh