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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism
@thedailytism.com
13K followers 60 following 1.5K posts
Satirical news by and for autistic people (poor things). Founded by Sara Gibbs & Elsa Williams; run by Sara Gibbs & Sarah Amero www.thedailytism.com www.patreon.com/TheDailyTism Autistic Women Oversharing Podcast: https://linktr.ee/thedailytism
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The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 1h
Sarah Harrow, 39, has never tried to hydrate her autism away, but you, being the angel that you are, explained that all things are possible through water. You didn’t specify what part of her autism it’d help her with, but that doesn’t matter, because water just helps.
Autistic woman who’s never tried drinking water really grateful for your input
An autistic woman is really grateful for your unsolicited advice and cannot wait to solve all her problems by just drinking some water, sources have revealed. Sarah Harrow, 39, has never tried to…
thedailytism.com
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sararoseg.bsky.social
Sarcophagus Gibbs @sararoseg.bsky.social · 4h
It’s very important that you all know that mid-writing this article, I went upstairs for something and on my way back down, MISSED THE BOTTOM STAIR despite the fact it was all I was thinking about. Can only assume it was a warning. Pray for me.
thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 4h
The stair, which vanishes from your memory whenever you forget to actively concentrate on its existence, was ruled to be maliciously attempting to murder you, having deemed you unworthy of treading on it.

Read the full article on Patreon (if you dare): www.patreon.com/posts/139919...
Exclusive! Bottom stair absolutely trying to kill you Image of woman who has slipped over on stairs
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 4h
The stair, which vanishes from your memory whenever you forget to actively concentrate on its existence, was ruled to be maliciously attempting to murder you, having deemed you unworthy of treading on it.

Read the full article on Patreon (if you dare): www.patreon.com/posts/139919...
Exclusive! Bottom stair absolutely trying to kill you Image of woman who has slipped over on stairs
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 6h
Marmaduke, six, is reported to have been the subject of near constant vocal stimming by Ellie Mulligan, 32. In response, Marmaduke concealed a microphone within his floofy orange trousers, and he is now rich beyond his wildest dreams.
Cat records chart-topping album of autistic owner’s little songs
A cat has become one of the world’s best-selling musical artists overnight, after secretly recording his owner while she sang about him. Marmaduke, six, is reported to have been the subject of near…
thedailytism.com
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 1d
“I certainly have not the talent which some people possess of conversing easily with those I have never seen before,” Darcy continued. “But look how I’ve mastered the omnidirectional sprint!”

Read the full thing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/139919...
Hunk! This real-life Mr. Darcy stays home playing Call of Duty Image of man on sofa with some sort of video game controller
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 5d
Roll up, roll up - we’re teaching you how to cobble together a career in the arts! All the soft skills the neurotypicals just seem to know but nobody tells us? We’ve got you covered!

Save the date and sign up to our Patreon at any paid level to join in!
Employability skills in the arts virtual workshop - Sunday 26th October 6pm | The Daily Tism
Get more from The Daily Tism on Patreon
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 1d
Bernard said: “It’s on my list. The problem is I now can’t find my list. It’s probably in one of these 47 notebooks. I’ll have a look for it – right after I finish this level of Farm Heroes Saga.”
Autistic woman will definitely book ADHD assessment at some point
An autistic woman unsure if she also has ADHD has announced plans to try to get assessed at some vague, indeterminate point in the future.  Emma Bernard, 34, who exhibits a lot of ADHD traits, is…
thedailytism.com
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 22h
Crime drama fans have been left bewildered by Channel 4’s latest offering, which features a sleuth protagonist so neurotypical that he is completely unrecognisable as a detective, critics have claimed.
Audiences baffled as TV detective not even a little bit autistic
Crime drama fans have been left bewildered by Channel 4’s latest offering, which features a sleuth protagonist so neurotypical that he is completely unrecognisable as a detective, critics have…
thedailytism.com
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 6h
Marmaduke, six, is reported to have been the subject of near constant vocal stimming by Ellie Mulligan, 32. In response, Marmaduke concealed a microphone within his floofy orange trousers, and he is now rich beyond his wildest dreams.
Cat records chart-topping album of autistic owner’s little songs
A cat has become one of the world’s best-selling musical artists overnight, after secretly recording his owner while she sang about him. Marmaduke, six, is reported to have been the subject of near…
thedailytism.com
1 26 120
thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 22h
Crime drama fans have been left bewildered by Channel 4’s latest offering, which features a sleuth protagonist so neurotypical that he is completely unrecognisable as a detective, critics have claimed.
Audiences baffled as TV detective not even a little bit autistic
Crime drama fans have been left bewildered by Channel 4’s latest offering, which features a sleuth protagonist so neurotypical that he is completely unrecognisable as a detective, critics have…
thedailytism.com
3 21 120
thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 1d
Bernard said: “It’s on my list. The problem is I now can’t find my list. It’s probably in one of these 47 notebooks. I’ll have a look for it – right after I finish this level of Farm Heroes Saga.”
Autistic woman will definitely book ADHD assessment at some point
An autistic woman unsure if she also has ADHD has announced plans to try to get assessed at some vague, indeterminate point in the future.  Emma Bernard, 34, who exhibits a lot of ADHD traits, is…
thedailytism.com
1 19 110
thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 1d
“I certainly have not the talent which some people possess of conversing easily with those I have never seen before,” Darcy continued. “But look how I’ve mastered the omnidirectional sprint!”

Read the full thing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/139919...
Hunk! This real-life Mr. Darcy stays home playing Call of Duty Image of man on sofa with some sort of video game controller
3 7 55
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 1d
Karen Hoyland, 30, who classily changed her last name to distance herself from her famous dad, is not autistic herself - but has used her incredible empathy to write an adult woman based on her six-year-old nephew.

Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/113667...
a woman in business clothing leans against a wall with her arms crossed
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 1d
Karen Hoyland, 30, who classily changed her last name to distance herself from her famous dad, is not autistic herself - but has used her incredible empathy to write an adult woman based on her six-year-old nephew.

Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/113667...
a woman in business clothing leans against a wall with her arms crossed
2 25 130
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 2d
“It just wasn’t meant to happen! Having a stable income and a roof over one’s head is simply a luxury not intended for some of us,” Bernard explained.
It wasn’t meant to be, says autistic woman after 978th failed job interview
An autistic woman emerging from yet another catastrophic job interview has reportedly consoled herself by saying it just wasn't meant to be - the world of employment, that is. Emma Bernard, 34, from…
thedailytism.com
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 1d
"I just need to recover from spending a morning under that excruciating lighting so I can go back and spend an afternoon under that excruciating lighting.”
Autistic woman can leave work toilets any time she fucking feels like it
An autistic woman hiding in a toilet cubicle at work can reportedly leave whenever she wants, alright? Alma Montague, 31, has merely taken a brief respite from her colleagues on the Sales team, just…
thedailytism.com
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 1d
"I just need to recover from spending a morning under that excruciating lighting so I can go back and spend an afternoon under that excruciating lighting.”
Autistic woman can leave work toilets any time she fucking feels like it
An autistic woman hiding in a toilet cubicle at work can reportedly leave whenever she wants, alright? Alma Montague, 31, has merely taken a brief respite from her colleagues on the Sales team, just…
thedailytism.com
6 52 210
thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 2d
“It just wasn’t meant to happen! Having a stable income and a roof over one’s head is simply a luxury not intended for some of us,” Bernard explained.
It wasn’t meant to be, says autistic woman after 978th failed job interview
An autistic woman emerging from yet another catastrophic job interview has reportedly consoled herself by saying it just wasn't meant to be - the world of employment, that is. Emma Bernard, 34, from…
thedailytism.com
5 40 130
Reposted by The Daily Tism
thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 2d
Beth Hapworth, 32, spent her entire 20s grafting, hustling and girl-bossing her way through her event photography career only to find she now needs to nap for the entirety of her 30s.
Boss! Autistic woman smashing work goals rewarded with burnout
An autistic woman has smashed the glass ceiling only to become too fucking exhausted to reap any of the rewards, it has been confirmed. Beth Hapworth, 32, spent her entire 20s grafting, hustling and…
thedailytism.com
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 2d
Beth Hapworth, 32, spent her entire 20s grafting, hustling and girl-bossing her way through her event photography career only to find she now needs to nap for the entirety of her 30s.
Boss! Autistic woman smashing work goals rewarded with burnout
An autistic woman has smashed the glass ceiling only to become too fucking exhausted to reap any of the rewards, it has been confirmed. Beth Hapworth, 32, spent her entire 20s grafting, hustling and…
thedailytism.com
1 34 170
Reposted by The Daily Tism
thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 3d
Montague told us: “My inner wisdom is telling me to break up with my boyfriend, pack a bag and start a new life under the sea – but then it’s also telling me I need to peel this satsuma in one clean strip or my family will die.”
Trust your gut? Autistic woman’s intuition feels pretty much the same as generalised anxiety disorder
An autistic woman told by her therapist to “trust your instincts” is reportedly struggling to discern her instincts from her debilitating anxiety disorder. Alma Montague, 34, could be holed up…
thedailytism.com
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 2d
According to sources, interactions with friends and family may initially take the form of low-stress, low-pressure hangouts, but are actually energy draining time sucks waiting to ambush you.

Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/112929...
a woman holding a cup of coffee with her head down on a table
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thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 2d
According to sources, interactions with friends and family may initially take the form of low-stress, low-pressure hangouts, but are actually energy draining time sucks waiting to ambush you.

Read this and other exclusive articles on Patreon: www.patreon.com/posts/112929...
a woman holding a cup of coffee with her head down on a table
1 39 180
Reposted by The Daily Tism
loukas.bsky.social
Loukas (they/them)🏳️‍⚧️ @loukas.bsky.social · 3d
For real. Autistic pattern recognition is sometimes like a chainsaw with no handle.
thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 3d
Montague told us: “My inner wisdom is telling me to break up with my boyfriend, pack a bag and start a new life under the sea – but then it’s also telling me I need to peel this satsuma in one clean strip or my family will die.”
Trust your gut? Autistic woman’s intuition feels pretty much the same as generalised anxiety disorder
An autistic woman told by her therapist to “trust your instincts” is reportedly struggling to discern her instincts from her debilitating anxiety disorder. Alma Montague, 34, could be holed up…
thedailytism.com
5 13 110
Reposted by The Daily Tism
thedailytism.com
The Daily Tism @thedailytism.com · 3d
When Alix Gardner, 44, was seen crouched beside the emergency exit, flight attendants hurried to reassure them that all was well. “In fact, I was thinking of grabbing a parachute and taking my chances,” Gardner said.
Brace! Plane crash actually less scary than nine hours in airborne tin of human sardines
An autistic person’s fear of flying has been misinterpreted as a fear of crashing, when in fact they had begun to feel that plummeting to almost certain death might be a blessed relief, sources have…
thedailytism.com
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