The Fuge
@thefuge.bsky.social
Short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man.
There should be a virus that affects people who own stocks. Like, if you own a few you might get sniffles and a cough, but if you own A LOT then you bleed from the rectum and your heart stops.
April 10, 2025 at 11:06 AM
There should be a virus that affects people who own stocks. Like, if you own a few you might get sniffles and a cough, but if you own A LOT then you bleed from the rectum and your heart stops.
People say shit like, "Sure, tariffs will make things hard for a while but if it brings manufacturing back to the U.S. it's a good thing". But what kind of jobs do you think we will get? They won't be paying a livable wage with benefits. People will be desperate and take anything just to survive.
April 3, 2025 at 4:28 PM
People say shit like, "Sure, tariffs will make things hard for a while but if it brings manufacturing back to the U.S. it's a good thing". But what kind of jobs do you think we will get? They won't be paying a livable wage with benefits. People will be desperate and take anything just to survive.
When entering 1 minute on a microwave, which one are you?
A) 1-0-0
B) 6-0
C) +30 Twice
D) Button Mash Numbers And Open The Door When You've Waited Long Enough
A) 1-0-0
B) 6-0
C) +30 Twice
D) Button Mash Numbers And Open The Door When You've Waited Long Enough
March 31, 2025 at 11:22 PM
When entering 1 minute on a microwave, which one are you?
A) 1-0-0
B) 6-0
C) +30 Twice
D) Button Mash Numbers And Open The Door When You've Waited Long Enough
A) 1-0-0
B) 6-0
C) +30 Twice
D) Button Mash Numbers And Open The Door When You've Waited Long Enough
Will Smith dropping the f-bomb in the opening track of his new album!? The whole world is falling apart.
March 28, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Will Smith dropping the f-bomb in the opening track of his new album!? The whole world is falling apart.
I keep seeing posts saying shit like, "I thought people would wake up when ----- happened." Guess what, people did wake up. Just turns out that people are giant pieces of shit.
February 27, 2025 at 11:20 AM
I keep seeing posts saying shit like, "I thought people would wake up when ----- happened." Guess what, people did wake up. Just turns out that people are giant pieces of shit.
I think I caused a dude's brain to glitch when I told him that I don't think sports should be a part of school at all. He really didn't know how to respond.
February 22, 2025 at 12:01 PM
I think I caused a dude's brain to glitch when I told him that I don't think sports should be a part of school at all. He really didn't know how to respond.
I want to get a taser and zap people in the throat when they huff and mumble about their order not being ready when picking up at a restaurant that is slammed and the employees are clearly stressed out. Just take a seat, relax, wait a few minutes, and leave a fucking tip.
February 15, 2025 at 12:00 AM
I want to get a taser and zap people in the throat when they huff and mumble about their order not being ready when picking up at a restaurant that is slammed and the employees are clearly stressed out. Just take a seat, relax, wait a few minutes, and leave a fucking tip.
How can we have affordable healthcare in this country when there are mountains, bodies of water, and military bases with the wrong name?!
February 12, 2025 at 12:17 PM
How can we have affordable healthcare in this country when there are mountains, bodies of water, and military bases with the wrong name?!
I wonder what it's like to be one of those, "I never wish death upon anyone" kind of people.
February 9, 2025 at 1:22 PM
I wonder what it's like to be one of those, "I never wish death upon anyone" kind of people.
"Eradicating Anti-Christian Bias"? I didn't think there were any Christians left in this country. Didn't they all trade in Christ for guns and money?
February 7, 2025 at 11:48 AM
"Eradicating Anti-Christian Bias"? I didn't think there were any Christians left in this country. Didn't they all trade in Christ for guns and money?
Walking up and down the stairs a few times to figure out what was making a clicking noise... it was my knee. Cool.
February 5, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Walking up and down the stairs a few times to figure out what was making a clicking noise... it was my knee. Cool.
I tried Smucker's Sugar-Free Raspberry Preserves... Its texture is like they put a bunch of orbeez in a blender and hit purée.
February 4, 2025 at 11:44 AM
I tried Smucker's Sugar-Free Raspberry Preserves... Its texture is like they put a bunch of orbeez in a blender and hit purée.
People talking to me about "The Substance" use words like: disturbing, frightening, insane, shocking... but nobody ever said hilarious. The Lady and I were truly laughing out loud during the last act. It was like someone put money into a Troma production.
February 3, 2025 at 11:22 AM
People talking to me about "The Substance" use words like: disturbing, frightening, insane, shocking... but nobody ever said hilarious. The Lady and I were truly laughing out loud during the last act. It was like someone put money into a Troma production.
I don't understand why so many people get grossed out by the word "moist" when the word "sopping" exsists.
February 2, 2025 at 2:24 PM
I don't understand why so many people get grossed out by the word "moist" when the word "sopping" exsists.
If we're having a conversation and you say "woke" or "DEI", you should know the smile on my face is because I'm imagining myself joyfully curb-stomping your head repeatedly.
February 1, 2025 at 12:16 PM
If we're having a conversation and you say "woke" or "DEI", you should know the smile on my face is because I'm imagining myself joyfully curb-stomping your head repeatedly.
Every time I see, "The price of eggs...", I want to scream until I die.
January 29, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Every time I see, "The price of eggs...", I want to scream until I die.
The Naboo Fighter is one of the best ship designs in Star Wars. I ❤️ The Prequels.
January 28, 2025 at 2:37 PM
The Naboo Fighter is one of the best ship designs in Star Wars. I ❤️ The Prequels.
Fuck off, earthquakes. I ain't got time for your bullshit.
January 27, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Fuck off, earthquakes. I ain't got time for your bullshit.
I don't have time to fact check every single story. Every search just brings up sponsored articles and bullshit so I have to fact check those, too. It's exhausting. From the looks of it, we are living in an end of times fascist hellscape and an age of enlightenment at the same time.
January 26, 2025 at 3:23 PM
I don't have time to fact check every single story. Every search just brings up sponsored articles and bullshit so I have to fact check those, too. It's exhausting. From the looks of it, we are living in an end of times fascist hellscape and an age of enlightenment at the same time.
I want to get 50 cats just so I can give them all names from RiFF RaFF songs. Like, "This one is Vanilla Gorilla, and those two over there are Aquaberry Backfist and Mr. Lamborghini Leg Lock. Be careful around Hazelnut Harrison Ford, he's old and grumpy."
January 26, 2025 at 12:02 AM
I want to get 50 cats just so I can give them all names from RiFF RaFF songs. Like, "This one is Vanilla Gorilla, and those two over there are Aquaberry Backfist and Mr. Lamborghini Leg Lock. Be careful around Hazelnut Harrison Ford, he's old and grumpy."
I think I'm too old for this shit.
January 25, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I think I'm too old for this shit.