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thelichstower.bsky.social
The Lich's Tower
@thelichstower.bsky.social
63 followers 8 following 420 posts
The anti-alpha, family-first ecosystem. Rebuilding masculinity after trauma. ADHD, CPTSD, chronic pain survivor. Systemic critique + practical solutions. Link in bio for free resources.
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thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay with the title 'Keep Going! Small Gains!' The body content consists of three paragraphs. The first paragraph states, 'Some days are much harder than others.' The second paragraph emphasizes the importance of small, consistent daily gains, saying, 'These are the days to remember its not about big gains, just small consistent daily ones to compound.' The final paragraph encourages persistence with the words, 'Keep Going!'}
February 5, 2026 at 8:39 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
Screenshot essay titled 'The 'Soft Startup' Rule for Difficult Conversations' discussing how the initiation of a difficult conversation affects its outcome. The author describes the importance of a soft approach, contrasting accusatory phrases with more constructive expressions of feelings and needs. Examples include replacing blame with personal feelings, such as saying 'I'm feeling overwhelmed with the household tasks' instead of 'You never help with the dishes.' The text emphasizes that a soft startup disarms defensiveness and promotes collaboration, focusing on the issue rather than the individual. The essay encourages readers to consider difficult conversations they have been avoiding and how to apply the soft startup method.
February 4, 2026 at 9:02 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'The Difference Between Hearing and Listening.' The text discusses the contrast between hearing, which is a passive act, and listening, which is an active process involving intentional understanding. The author shares a personal story about previously being a poor listener and how he would formulate responses before his wife finished speaking, highlighting dismissiveness. The essay emphasizes the importance of being fully present when listening, even during uncomfortable moments. It includes a turning point where the author began paraphrasing what he heard to ensure understanding. The piece concludes by stating that listening is about understanding, not necessarily agreeing, and poses a reflective question about whether the reader is a better talker or listener.
February 3, 2026 at 11:56 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'The Name It to Tame It Technique' discusses an emotional regulation tool encouraging individuals to name their emotions for better management. The text explains that identifying feelings like anxiety, overwhelm, and sadness activates the brain's rational prefrontal cortex, reducing reactivity from the amygdala. The author highlights the process of transitioning from being defined by the emotion to observing it, using the phrase 'I am experiencing anxiety' instead of 'I am anxious.' They share personal experiences of using this technique to regain control during anxiety episodes and ask readers to reflect on which emotions they find difficult to name.
February 2, 2026 at 9:02 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay discussing emotional sensitivity, titled 'You're Not 'Too Sensitive.' You're Unregulated.' The essay reflects on personal experiences of being labeled 'too sensitive' due to ADHD or CPTSD, explaining that this perception stems from a dysregulated nervous system. It highlights how triggers can be interpreted as threats and emphasizes that this is not a character flaw but rather a survival mode response. The author advocates for emotional regulation through therapy, breathwork, movement, and self-compassion, suggesting that people are not broken but working with a different operating system. The essay concludes with a personal inquiry about the reader's experiences with sensitivity.
February 1, 2026 at 3:03 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
Screenshot essay titled 'The 3-Second Rule for Managing Anger' discusses the nature of anger as a fast emotion that often leads to regrettable actions. It introduces the '3-Second Rule' as a technique for pausing when anger rises, involving deep breathing for 3 seconds in and 3 seconds out. The essay explains that this practice interrupts the anger response and allows the rational part of the brain to regain control. It emphasizes the power of choice in responding instead of reacting to anger, and reflects on the author's personal experience with this method, acknowledging its imperfections but highlighting its effectiveness in fostering productive communication. The essay concludes with an invitation for readers to share their own anger management strategies.
January 31, 2026 at 3:32 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
Screenshot essay titled 'Your Anger is a Secondary Emotion. What's Underneath It?' The essay discusses how anger functions as a shield protecting deeper emotions like fear, sadness, shame, or hurt. The author shares a personal experience of getting angry at his wife over trivial matters, realizing these emotions stemmed from feelings of being unheard and losing control. The piece emphasizes the importance of recognizing the underlying emotions beneath anger to foster healthier communication. It concludes with a question encouraging introspection about the primary emotions hidden beneath feelings of anger.
January 30, 2026 at 4:12 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'How to Compliment a Woman Without Being Creepy' detailing the differences between respectful compliments and objectifying comments. The text emphasizes that compliments should focus on a woman's choices, intelligence, creativity, or kindness rather than her physical appearance. It provides examples: complimenting style, taste, or perspective instead of looks. The essay stresses that compliments should be specific, genuine, and given without expecting anything in return, framing a compliment as a gift rather than a transaction. The piece concludes with a question asking about non-physical compliments that have been received or given.
January 29, 2026 at 4:11 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'Some words of wisdom', featuring text that reflects personal insights and life lessons. The content encourages readers to reflect on their experiences and consider the wisdom gained from them. The overall tone is uplifting and thought-provoking.
January 28, 2026 at 11:57 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
Screenshot of an essay titled 'Been a long couple of weeks.' The text discusses the author's recent experience recovering from a concussion sustained by their toddler kicking them in the head. The author expresses love and admiration for their daughter while humorously advising that parenting is not for the faint of heart.
January 27, 2026 at 8:35 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
An essay titled 'The Myth of the 'Friend Zone'' discusses the concept of the 'friend zone' as a social construct that reflects men's entitlement to women's romantic interest. The author asserts that friendship is a valuable relationship in its own right and explains that women do not owe men romance simply for being nice. The narrative is critiqued for being transactional, emphasizing that true human connection doesn't function like a vending machine. The author shares personal experiences of platonic friendships with women, highlighting valuable lessons learned about listening, being present, and recognizing women as complex individuals. The essay concludes with a question aimed at men about their experiences in platonic friendships.
January 26, 2026 at 7:24 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
Screenshot essay titled 'How to Practice Vulnerability (Without Oversharing)', discussing the distinction between vulnerability and oversharing. The essay outlines four key practices for sharing authentically: 1. Choose your audience wisely, emphasizing the importance of trusting relationships. 2. Start small with manageable feelings and experiences. 3. Own your feelings using 'I' statements to express personal experiences without blaming others. 4. Ask for what you need to clarify how others can support you. It concludes by highlighting vulnerability as a skill essential for intimacy and healing, encouraging readers to identify a 'safe person' in their lives for this practice.
January 25, 2026 at 9:30 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'I Cried in Front of My Wife, and It Saved Our Marriage' expresses the author's journey regarding vulnerability in his marriage. The text discusses his past belief that crying was a weakness, leading to emotional distance from his wife during a health crisis. Despite his fear and pain, he eventually broke down and shared his struggles with her. Contrary to his fears, his wife embraced him, reinforcing that vulnerability fosters genuine connection. The essay concludes with a reflective question for readers about their own fears of vulnerability in relationships.
January 25, 2026 at 1:00 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'The 4 Horsemen of Toxic Masculinity,' discussing the harmful beliefs associated with toxic masculinity. It lists four core beliefs: 1. Stoicism as Emotional Suppression, which emphasizes that showing emotion is a weakness, leading to isolation; 2. Competitiveness as Domination, where life is viewed as a zero-sum game, destroying relationships; 3. Provider as Primary Value, tying a man's worth to income, resulting in burnout; 4. Protector as Physical Aggression, promoting violence over other solutions. The essay concludes that these beliefs trap men, and urges readers to reflect on their experiences with these toxic ideals.
January 24, 2026 at 9:45 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot of an essay titled "Men Are Dying. The Cure Isn't More Stoicism." The text discusses the emotional, relational, and spiritual decline of men, highlighting issues like isolation, anger, and the detrimental effects of suppressing feelings in favor of stoicism. The author shares personal experiences of stress and pain from trying to be stoic and emphasizes the importance of vulnerability for connection, healing, and strength. The essay questions societal pressures on men to hide their emotions and invites readers to reflect on their own experiences.
January 24, 2026 at 7:11 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'The Seasons Approach to Work' discusses the concept of work cycles based on seasonal energy and productivity patterns. The body outlines a personal experience of shifting from constant output to a seasonal planning approach, detailing four distinct seasons: Spring (Jan-Mar) for high productivity, Summer (Apr-Jun) for maintenance and family time, Fall (Jul-Sep) for refining projects, and Winter (Oct-Dec) for rest and reflection. The author emphasizes the importance of honoring natural rhythms and pacing oneself to prevent burnout, inviting readers to consider their current season and energy needs.
January 23, 2026 at 8:45 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'The Goal Isn't to Work Less. It's to Work Sustainably.' The text discusses the distinction between sustainable work and burnout, highlighting key points such as: sustainable work energizes versus burnout draining energy, the importance of clear boundaries in sustainable work versus the encroachment of burnout into personal life, and how sustainable work aligns with personal values unlike burnout. The author reflects on their personal experience of recovering from surgeries and restructuring their work life to prioritize health and well-being, resulting in greater productivity with fewer hours. The essay concludes with a question about what sustainable work looks like for the reader.
January 23, 2026 at 3:33 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
Screenshot essay titled 'Build Assets, Not Just Income'. The text discusses the limitations of trading time for money, explaining that there is a cap on earnings proportional to hours worked. It introduces the concept of building assets that generate value without direct labor, highlighting examples like digital products, courses, and content. The author shares personal experiences of creating content that can be accessed indefinitely and emphasizes the leverage gained by decoupling income from hours worked. The text acknowledges the initial difficulty of building assets but asserts it leads to true freedom over time. It concludes with a reflective question about what asset the reader could start building today.
January 22, 2026 at 7:30 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'Automate Everything You Can, So You Can Focus on What You Can't.' The body content discusses the importance of automating repetitive tasks to save time and energy. The author shares personal experiences of previously spending time on manual tasks such as paying bills, scheduling social media posts, sending invoices, and tracking expenses, which felt productive but were actually busywork. They now automate these tasks, including autopay for bills, automatic savings transfers, and scheduled social media posts, resulting in more free time for meaningful activities like writing and spending time with family. The piece emphasizes that automation is a strategic choice, not laziness, and encourages readers to identify one task they could automate this week.
January 22, 2026 at 3:27 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'What "Exact Reciprocity" Really Means' discusses the concept of 'exact reciprocity' as advocated by 'unhumans'. The author critiques this idea by explaining that it suggests doing to opponents what they are accused of planning, framing this as fair. The essay argues that labeling progressives as threats leads to justifying extreme actions such as violence and genocide under the guise of self-defense. It highlights the dangers of these false accusations and how they create a justification for unjust political violence, emphasizing that 'exact reciprocity' is a deceptive rhetoric used by those in power to rationalize aggression.
January 21, 2026 at 2:26 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled "What 'Exact Reciprocity' Really Means" critiques the concept of exact reciprocity advocated by Unhumans, where individuals retaliate against their opponents based on perceived threats. The author discusses how the book depicts progressives as planning extreme violence and societal destruction, creating a justification for preemptive aggression. Key points include: the false characterizations of opponents, the dangerous implications of claiming self-defense in response to imagined threats, and the insidious nature of these accusations. The essay concludes that exact reciprocity is a deceptive rhetorical strategy that enables political violence under the guise of defense.
January 21, 2026 at 2:26 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'The Power of a Great Partnership' discussing the successful business partnership between Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger. It highlights how they challenged each other and grew together, encouraging readers to find their own partner who can provide honest feedback and new perspectives. The essay includes relevant hashtags: #warrenbuffett #charliemunger #partnership #success.
January 20, 2026 at 7:45 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay titled 'The Joy of Reading' featuring a quote stating that wise individuals consistently read. The text emphasizes that for Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger, reading is integral to their lives rather than a mere hobby. It encourages readers to read daily to gain wisdom, accompanied by hashtags #warrenbuffett #charliemunger #reading #learning.
January 20, 2026 at 7:15 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
A screenshot essay with the title 'The Best Armor is Contempt' featuring a quote from Charlie Munger: 'The best armor of old age is a well-spent life preceding it.' The body text discusses Munger's contrarian views and emphasizes the importance of having a strong inner compass and thinking independently. The text encourages readers to embrace being different and to form their own opinions.
January 20, 2026 at 6:45 PM
thelichstower.bsky.social
Screenshot essay titled 'The Man Who Deserves It' featuring text that discusses Charlie Munger's belief in the importance of character and hard work. It emphasizes the idea that being reliable, trustworthy, and a lifelong learner will lead to rewards in life, concluding with a statement about deserving what one earns over time. Includes hashtags #charliemunger, #character, #wisdom, and #lifelessons.
January 20, 2026 at 6:30 PM