The Ol' Alexmeister
@theolalexmeister.bsky.social
Brooklyn-based hobo
Reposted by The Ol' Alexmeister
I would watch an hourlong supercut of trick plays that go for less than 10 yards. If that makes me a sick individual so be it.
December 22, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I would watch an hourlong supercut of trick plays that go for less than 10 yards. If that makes me a sick individual so be it.
The main reason I'm not a Bond villain is because I know I'd fuck up the pithy mockery when I manage to capture Bond in my overly elaborate trap.
/Bond stuck to the wall in my nefarious glue trap
"Ahh, Mr. Bond, I'm glad you decided to hang ou-- FUCK. Sorry, I meant stick around. Sheesh."
/Bond stuck to the wall in my nefarious glue trap
"Ahh, Mr. Bond, I'm glad you decided to hang ou-- FUCK. Sorry, I meant stick around. Sheesh."
December 20, 2025 at 3:28 PM
The main reason I'm not a Bond villain is because I know I'd fuck up the pithy mockery when I manage to capture Bond in my overly elaborate trap.
/Bond stuck to the wall in my nefarious glue trap
"Ahh, Mr. Bond, I'm glad you decided to hang ou-- FUCK. Sorry, I meant stick around. Sheesh."
/Bond stuck to the wall in my nefarious glue trap
"Ahh, Mr. Bond, I'm glad you decided to hang ou-- FUCK. Sorry, I meant stick around. Sheesh."
Reposted by The Ol' Alexmeister
Caleb Williams to DJ Moore, touchdown!
December 14, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Caleb Williams to DJ Moore, touchdown!
Me when I wanna REALLY like a post but see it has 69 likes
a close up of a person 's face with a purple background
ALT: a close up of a person 's face with a purple background
media.tenor.com
December 12, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Me when I wanna REALLY like a post but see it has 69 likes
My inability to retain both gloves in the pair for more than seven hours should be studied in a fucking laboratory
December 12, 2025 at 5:41 PM
My inability to retain both gloves in the pair for more than seven hours should be studied in a fucking laboratory
The one thing we Americans can still hold over the Brits is that "elevator" is so much a cooler name than "lift".
December 12, 2025 at 3:38 PM
The one thing we Americans can still hold over the Brits is that "elevator" is so much a cooler name than "lift".
Reposted by The Ol' Alexmeister
driving is so bad but listening to music in the car is so good
December 12, 2025 at 3:36 PM
driving is so bad but listening to music in the car is so good
Me when hearing Deadeye Dick's New Age Girl in fifth grade when they say that she doesn't eat meat but sure likes the bone (she's a vegetarian!)
a woman is looking at a chalkboard with mathematical equations on it .
ALT: a woman is looking at a chalkboard with mathematical equations on it .
media.tenor.com
November 9, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Me when hearing Deadeye Dick's New Age Girl in fifth grade when they say that she doesn't eat meat but sure likes the bone (she's a vegetarian!)
How old were you when you first learned that not all adults were smarter than children?
August 3, 2025 at 12:20 PM
How old were you when you first learned that not all adults were smarter than children?
Mystery subway day in NYC. Will this train take me to West 4th? Will it take me to Narnia? Will it just remain here forever and become an interactive museum exhibit? No one knows the answers.
July 29, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Mystery subway day in NYC. Will this train take me to West 4th? Will it take me to Narnia? Will it just remain here forever and become an interactive museum exhibit? No one knows the answers.
i want to write a show where there is this following exchange:
Person picks up castanets, talking to a second person
"Ah yes, the castanets. An instrument any child can play"
"but"
/ guy clicks castanets together exotically
"only but a few can master"
that's all i got. suggestions welcome
Person picks up castanets, talking to a second person
"Ah yes, the castanets. An instrument any child can play"
"but"
/ guy clicks castanets together exotically
"only but a few can master"
that's all i got. suggestions welcome
April 23, 2025 at 3:24 AM
i want to write a show where there is this following exchange:
Person picks up castanets, talking to a second person
"Ah yes, the castanets. An instrument any child can play"
"but"
/ guy clicks castanets together exotically
"only but a few can master"
that's all i got. suggestions welcome
Person picks up castanets, talking to a second person
"Ah yes, the castanets. An instrument any child can play"
"but"
/ guy clicks castanets together exotically
"only but a few can master"
that's all i got. suggestions welcome
Even the subway will be like "Oh yeah you just take the G to Hoyt-Schermelation. Schermelation? That doesn't sound right. Hoyt something. Hoyt Shermaphone. Shermaniston? Fuck it. Hoyt something" with Hoyt Schermerhorn
April 6, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Even the subway will be like "Oh yeah you just take the G to Hoyt-Schermelation. Schermelation? That doesn't sound right. Hoyt something. Hoyt Shermaphone. Shermaniston? Fuck it. Hoyt something" with Hoyt Schermerhorn
I dunno man, I died? It was a semi truck
March 14, 2025 at 4:23 AM
I dunno man, I died? It was a semi truck
Hey fellow idiots do any of you find yourself carrying your winter gloves instead of wearing them? If so what's going on there
February 23, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Hey fellow idiots do any of you find yourself carrying your winter gloves instead of wearing them? If so what's going on there
If I haven't seen the first Paul Blart will I be confused if I watch Paul Blart 2
February 22, 2025 at 12:07 PM
If I haven't seen the first Paul Blart will I be confused if I watch Paul Blart 2
Getting murdered can't be as terrifying as that half second before you fall over backward in your chair because you were leaning too far back.
January 25, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Getting murdered can't be as terrifying as that half second before you fall over backward in your chair because you were leaning too far back.
Just awoke from a dream where I faked having a bachelor of library sciences from tulane university AND got away with it!
January 19, 2025 at 11:29 AM
Just awoke from a dream where I faked having a bachelor of library sciences from tulane university AND got away with it!
I swear some bodegas put extra mayo outta spite on your sandwich when you have the audacity to ask for none
January 17, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I swear some bodegas put extra mayo outta spite on your sandwich when you have the audacity to ask for none
At a dive bar in Williamsburg. Can't tell if I'm here on Fancy Coat Night or if the floor for dive bar fashion has been raised.
January 12, 2025 at 12:16 AM
At a dive bar in Williamsburg. Can't tell if I'm here on Fancy Coat Night or if the floor for dive bar fashion has been raised.
Is egg drop soup something I should look up how it's made or is blissful ignorance the play here
January 1, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Is egg drop soup something I should look up how it's made or is blissful ignorance the play here
Me after describing the upper peninsula of Michigan to some NYC friends and hearing them say "ah, since it's called the UP, surely the lower peninsula is called the LP, right?"
December 25, 2024 at 5:39 PM
Me after describing the upper peninsula of Michigan to some NYC friends and hearing them say "ah, since it's called the UP, surely the lower peninsula is called the LP, right?"
Man. Remember being a kid taking a bath and scootching back and forth in the tub to create tidal waves? Good times.
I'm sorry mom and dad.
I'm sorry mom and dad.
December 22, 2024 at 4:55 AM
Man. Remember being a kid taking a bath and scootching back and forth in the tub to create tidal waves? Good times.
I'm sorry mom and dad.
I'm sorry mom and dad.
The ego, the superego, and this
December 15, 2024 at 3:34 PM
The ego, the superego, and this