Mayo is an ingredient in many delicious things but in its pure unadulterated form it is vile

lmfao

I got in an argument while holding a sealed carton of vegetable broth. I thought I was just setting it down hard but I guess I was upset ‘cause I punched it through the glass cooktop of my stove and it exploded like a water balloon all over the room.

Please tell me the major news orgs are reaching out to you to vet this and run with it

You just know “come together” was the runner up in the headline pitch meeting and it was too good not to just throw it on there too

I assumed Die Hard

I can fix grimes

Idk what was topping the charts or whatever but that was an incredible year for music

In The Aeroplane Over The Sea shut up la la la I can’t hear you

I miss her

What level of subscriber must I be in order to hear this

I have used it and same