The sound I just made after stubbing my toe can only be described as: “a local news anchor falling while trying to stomp wine.”

I need people in Portland to let people disembark before they try to embark.

And I mean this in any possible situation. Elevators, busses, trains, buildings. Anything.

There is a calm joy in knowing that the only logical end of this is the beautiful and terrible final ending of this centuries Thomas Edison. Like it might not be for a while but his final moments will not be peaceful. And that brings me peace.

Medical Questionnaire: do you ever feel anxious?

Me: “Um, there’s no option for every moment of every day of my life….. also, will I be in trouble if i choose that option?”