Jake Ulrich
@theunrivaledjake.bsky.social
Imagine when explaining to someone in 2015 how bad 2026 is that you tell them it's like the dress challenge only it's deciding if people deserve to die or not based on video evidence.
January 9, 2026 at 3:49 PM
Imagine when explaining to someone in 2015 how bad 2026 is that you tell them it's like the dress challenge only it's deciding if people deserve to die or not based on video evidence.
Bro I want to siesta but it leaves no time for fiesta
January 7, 2026 at 12:25 AM
Bro I want to siesta but it leaves no time for fiesta
>be Colts fan
>watches team blow playoff shot every year
>always happens near the end of season
>program always uses recycled QBs
>team starts season 7-1 with recycled QB
>imgonnacum
>proceeds to lose every game except 1
>has to bring in literally retired QB
>Colts fan jumps off bridge
>survives
>watches team blow playoff shot every year
>always happens near the end of season
>program always uses recycled QBs
>team starts season 7-1 with recycled QB
>imgonnacum
>proceeds to lose every game except 1
>has to bring in literally retired QB
>Colts fan jumps off bridge
>survives
December 28, 2025 at 2:51 AM
>be Colts fan
>watches team blow playoff shot every year
>always happens near the end of season
>program always uses recycled QBs
>team starts season 7-1 with recycled QB
>imgonnacum
>proceeds to lose every game except 1
>has to bring in literally retired QB
>Colts fan jumps off bridge
>survives
>watches team blow playoff shot every year
>always happens near the end of season
>program always uses recycled QBs
>team starts season 7-1 with recycled QB
>imgonnacum
>proceeds to lose every game except 1
>has to bring in literally retired QB
>Colts fan jumps off bridge
>survives
Truly is the Colts Magnum Opus season
December 23, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Truly is the Colts Magnum Opus season
Cough up the pedofiles
December 19, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Cough up the pedofiles
This year sucked so bad that the two biggest memes were 6-7 and Kirkification
December 17, 2025 at 7:20 PM
This year sucked so bad that the two biggest memes were 6-7 and Kirkification
This Colts Indiana Jones season started like Raiders of the Lost Ark, and now they are in their Kingdom of the Crystal Skull period
December 2, 2025 at 4:05 PM
This Colts Indiana Jones season started like Raiders of the Lost Ark, and now they are in their Kingdom of the Crystal Skull period
They aren't showing us the unemployment rate.
They aren't showing us the GDP estimate.
What's 1+1?
They aren't showing us the GDP estimate.
What's 1+1?
November 24, 2025 at 9:56 PM
They aren't showing us the unemployment rate.
They aren't showing us the GDP estimate.
What's 1+1?
They aren't showing us the GDP estimate.
What's 1+1?
This means condemning: Public Education, Public Transportation, Infrastructure, Social Security and Medicare/Medicaid, Police and Fire Protection, Labor Unions, Postal Service, Recreational Spaces, Student Loans, Public Housing, and Water Services.
Vote everyone out. Fuck these stupid ass people.
Vote everyone out. Fuck these stupid ass people.
BREAKING: Republicans pass bill to condemn Socialism, 285-98. 86 House Democrats voted yes, further demonstrating that we have two right-wing parties in America. 2 members voted Present, and 47 members of the House did not vote (20 R and 27 D).
November 21, 2025 at 7:03 PM
This means condemning: Public Education, Public Transportation, Infrastructure, Social Security and Medicare/Medicaid, Police and Fire Protection, Labor Unions, Postal Service, Recreational Spaces, Student Loans, Public Housing, and Water Services.
Vote everyone out. Fuck these stupid ass people.
Vote everyone out. Fuck these stupid ass people.
NPR Tiny Desk on a generational run this week
November 21, 2025 at 4:27 PM
NPR Tiny Desk on a generational run this week
I feel like I'm having a quarter-life crisis
November 18, 2025 at 7:20 PM
I feel like I'm having a quarter-life crisis
Why am I getting into Tame Impala now
November 18, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Why am I getting into Tame Impala now
Speaking as someone with no grandparents left, people live for too damn long man
November 18, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Speaking as someone with no grandparents left, people live for too damn long man
The epic combo of the Epstein Files and Monica Lewinsky scandal can only be followed by Trump wearing a tan suit tomorrow
November 14, 2025 at 10:42 PM
The epic combo of the Epstein Files and Monica Lewinsky scandal can only be followed by Trump wearing a tan suit tomorrow
Republicans will stall the Epstein vote long enough for the Tennessee special elections to take place at the end of the month so the Republican nominee Van Epps can neutralize the vote in the House.
If he doesn't get elected, Reps will create a huge distraction too big for the nation to ignore.
If he doesn't get elected, Reps will create a huge distraction too big for the nation to ignore.
November 12, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Republicans will stall the Epstein vote long enough for the Tennessee special elections to take place at the end of the month so the Republican nominee Van Epps can neutralize the vote in the House.
If he doesn't get elected, Reps will create a huge distraction too big for the nation to ignore.
If he doesn't get elected, Reps will create a huge distraction too big for the nation to ignore.
White dance music stopped in the year 2000
November 9, 2025 at 2:10 AM
White dance music stopped in the year 2000
Convinced that people that post regularly more than 10 times a day have a mental illness that require weekly therapeutical appointments.
November 4, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Convinced that people that post regularly more than 10 times a day have a mental illness that require weekly therapeutical appointments.
Israel supports the Los Angeles Dodgers
October 28, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Israel supports the Los Angeles Dodgers
What kind of reality do we live in where the Indianapolis Colts, led by Daniel Jones, have the best record in the NFL after Week 7.
October 21, 2025 at 1:32 PM
What kind of reality do we live in where the Indianapolis Colts, led by Daniel Jones, have the best record in the NFL after Week 7.
Indianapolis
Memphis
Portland
El Paso
Atlanta
Chicago
Houston
New York City
Orlando
Washington
Memphis
Portland
El Paso
Atlanta
Chicago
Houston
New York City
Orlando
Washington
September 30, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Indianapolis
Memphis
Portland
El Paso
Atlanta
Chicago
Houston
New York City
Orlando
Washington
Memphis
Portland
El Paso
Atlanta
Chicago
Houston
New York City
Orlando
Washington
Fuck the Rapture release the Epstein Files
September 23, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Fuck the Rapture release the Epstein Files
You’re telling me that Andor and Severance lost to a doctor show that combined the style of The Bear and the format of 24.
This better be the best fucking show in existence.
This better be the best fucking show in existence.
September 16, 2025 at 3:36 AM
You’re telling me that Andor and Severance lost to a doctor show that combined the style of The Bear and the format of 24.
This better be the best fucking show in existence.
This better be the best fucking show in existence.
I swear every time I go out into civilization and witness the collapse of the service industry. We’re so cooked.
August 29, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I swear every time I go out into civilization and witness the collapse of the service industry. We’re so cooked.
I don't think anyone's ready to hear that they're actually going to have to fight for their rights and freedoms in the near future
August 7, 2025 at 8:21 PM
I don't think anyone's ready to hear that they're actually going to have to fight for their rights and freedoms in the near future