HOMAN IS THE BEST, MAYBE THE GREATEST SYCOPHANT I'VE EVER HAD! HE AND RUBIO AND MILLER FIGHT OVER MY BLOATED TEATS LIKE HUNGRY PUPPIES!

"Someone should do something!" ~ Chuck Schumer.

I call him lazy Chuck. So lazy. I wish all my opponents were as low energy as this guy.

I love stupid people like Lucinda. Many stupid people vote for me, and Lucinda is a beautiful, stupid, ignorant imbecile. Maybe the bigliest stupid, ignorant imbecile.

Even I think this guy's a piece of shit.

Yuge caldera, they say. Possibly the Yugest. And the quakes, such beautiful quakes. And they warn you, the quakes. When it's going to blow up and destroy America the quakes come. People say I'm going to destroy America. Bad hombres, such bad people. Experts say I have dementia.

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. People, many great people, they say, "You're so cruel, sir! But you have to be cruel because that's the best way to be kind." So I'm taking Social Security away from people to be kind. So, so kind. Maybe the kindest.

Big men in checked shirts. I call them LUMBERJACKS! No-one had ever said LUMBERJACKS, I was the first to say LUMBERJACKS! And they have the axes, big axes. Very strong in terms of axes. And they play the HACKEY, the great sport of HACKEY, with the moose. HEIDI CRUZ, I call the moose. She's a 2.

I've never heard of this guy.

I think he used to get the coffee.

I can confirm he did that once. The Maga Summer Party in 2019. Stephen, I call him NOSFERATU, folks... he's creepy even by the standards of a party that promotes Matt Gaetz... such a great child predator, PEDO MATT we call him. Anyway, Stephen drowned a kid and stole her life jacket. So strong!

MOOSE! I call them MOOSE! Great animal from the GREAT STATE OF CANADA! They have MOOSE, and TIMBER, I don't know what timber is, and HACKEY! Such a great sport, HACKEY! They play it on the ICE, folks. And the syrup you put on pancakes and hamberders. I put it on my hamberders. I have dementia.

I have never heard of this loser. Many people say I wanted to appoint him head of the DOJ, FAKE NEWS, folks. I call him SEX OFFENDER MATT. I'm a sex offender too, according to the court. I've never heard of me either, then. It's all fake news, folks.

Very strong picture. Very tough. That looks like my hand there in the middle. I have big hands, the biggest hands. My hands are bigger than a person. So true. Many people say, "Sir, you have the hands of a TITAN!" I don't know what a TITAN is but I'm told I have diagnosable mental illnesses.

SO true, folks. So true. No-one ever knew drugs were bad, and no-one ever made an advert to say drugs are bad. I'll be the first to ever do it. I'm a pioneer, they say. They say, "SIR! You're a pioneer! No-one ever did an anti-drugs advert! No-one knew they were bad!"

I'm an adjudicated rapist.

I will protect the Panama Canal, I want to protect all canals, and the canals have no choice. They say, "Keep your hands to yourself", but I can't help myself, I just grab them. And when you're famous they let you.

I'm an adjudicated rapist.

When is hamberders time?

I like the hamberders with the bacon and the pickle and the ketchup and the lettuce and FRIES! They used to call them French Fries, but I call them FREEDOM FRIES. No-one had ever said FREEDOM FRIES until I said it, and they said, "Sir, what a great name!" I pooped today.

Terrible fake picture by the lying press. I don't look like that. It's so, so fake. I'm 6 feet 4 inches, and 195 pounds. My muscles, incredible muscles, bulging so big, like Arnold with the crazy name. Such a crazy name. "I'll be back". I said the same thing, and here I am folks! I'M the Presnidet!