@thirdnephite.bsky.social
Translated being, Undocumented immigrant from the Land of Nephi, Works for Mormon Church's Strengthening the Membership Committee. A skilled rider of Tapirs.
Reposted
Your cat when you're choking to death in your apartment
November 6, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Your cat when you're choking to death in your apartment
Reposted
Let that sink in for a sec.
July 22, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Let that sink in for a sec.
Jesus Christ it's getting so I'm scared to turn on the TV in the morning.
June 14, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Jesus Christ it's getting so I'm scared to turn on the TV in the morning.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, "what's the word on the street?"
I asked him, "what's the word on the street?"
May 3, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, "what's the word on the street?"
I asked him, "what's the word on the street?"
I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables.
Turns out I was on the mothership.
Turns out I was on the mothership.
May 2, 2025 at 12:49 PM
I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables.
Turns out I was on the mothership.
Turns out I was on the mothership.
What did the convicted cannibal request as his last meal?
Five guys
Five guys
May 1, 2025 at 2:38 PM
What did the convicted cannibal request as his last meal?
Five guys
Five guys
For weeks now, my teenager has been pushing me into giant flower pots, throwing seeds on me, and dousing me with water.
I finally had it and said, “Why do you treat me like dirt??”
I finally had it and said, “Why do you treat me like dirt??”
April 30, 2025 at 1:29 PM
For weeks now, my teenager has been pushing me into giant flower pots, throwing seeds on me, and dousing me with water.
I finally had it and said, “Why do you treat me like dirt??”
I finally had it and said, “Why do you treat me like dirt??”
What do you call vegan bbq ribs?
Fibs
Fibs
April 29, 2025 at 1:23 PM
What do you call vegan bbq ribs?
Fibs
Fibs
Here's a classic
April 27, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Here's a classic
My son asked if trees poop?
I said “of course, how do you think we get number two pencils?”
I said “of course, how do you think we get number two pencils?”
April 27, 2025 at 2:14 PM
My son asked if trees poop?
I said “of course, how do you think we get number two pencils?”
I said “of course, how do you think we get number two pencils?”
I thought the word “Caesarean” started with the letter S, but when I looked it up in the dictionary,
it was in the C section.
it was in the C section.
April 25, 2025 at 1:41 PM
I thought the word “Caesarean” started with the letter S, but when I looked it up in the dictionary,
it was in the C section.
it was in the C section.
