Ken
@thisken.bsky.social
Left handed, left leaning, and sometimes out of left field.
So which is worse? Sitting down on a cold toilet seat or a warm one? I know it is situational. At home, probably not bad. At Walmart? <Shudder>
Or a warm seat at home, but you live alone!
"Sir, we've traced the poop and it is coming from inside the house!"
Or a warm seat at home, but you live alone!
"Sir, we've traced the poop and it is coming from inside the house!"
December 27, 2025 at 4:14 PM
So which is worse? Sitting down on a cold toilet seat or a warm one? I know it is situational. At home, probably not bad. At Walmart? <Shudder>
Or a warm seat at home, but you live alone!
"Sir, we've traced the poop and it is coming from inside the house!"
Or a warm seat at home, but you live alone!
"Sir, we've traced the poop and it is coming from inside the house!"
I've come to realize I am just my dog's door opener.
December 15, 2025 at 8:36 PM
I've come to realize I am just my dog's door opener.
You know the deviled eggs are good when you immediately reach for a second one before you have even swallowed the first one.
November 28, 2025 at 3:59 PM
You know the deviled eggs are good when you immediately reach for a second one before you have even swallowed the first one.
Got my savings account up to 5 digits! As long as you count the decimals...
October 30, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Got my savings account up to 5 digits! As long as you count the decimals...
Sometimes I forget we still have three more years of this bullshit. Those are the best times.
September 24, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Sometimes I forget we still have three more years of this bullshit. Those are the best times.
I want to get my license plate changed to FCK TRMP. Then I would get a plate cover that says "All we need is U".
September 20, 2025 at 3:20 PM
I want to get my license plate changed to FCK TRMP. Then I would get a plate cover that says "All we need is U".
Does anyone else throw back cough medicine like it is a shot of whiskey? That's right, barkeep, fill it right up to that 30ml line.
September 12, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Does anyone else throw back cough medicine like it is a shot of whiskey? That's right, barkeep, fill it right up to that 30ml line.
In a few years "Can you drive a manual?" is going to mean something different.
September 11, 2025 at 5:22 PM
In a few years "Can you drive a manual?" is going to mean something different.
I got in trouble at work for going on Holiday. She said she was into that kind of thing, but still reported me to HR.
July 17, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I got in trouble at work for going on Holiday. She said she was into that kind of thing, but still reported me to HR.
On a different note, I'm starting a petition to rename West Virginia to North Virginia. I mean, come on! Regular Virginia is further west!
July 8, 2025 at 11:47 PM
On a different note, I'm starting a petition to rename West Virginia to North Virginia. I mean, come on! Regular Virginia is further west!
You're not "Down Range", you are downtown. This is not Kandahar, it is LA and NYC. You're not at a FOB, you're at a fucking Applebee's. We're not your enemy, we're the people you swore to protect. This isn't a deployment, it's a disgrace. Don't forget all the cops cosplaying. ThIs is fucking stupid.
July 7, 2025 at 12:30 PM
You're not "Down Range", you are downtown. This is not Kandahar, it is LA and NYC. You're not at a FOB, you're at a fucking Applebee's. We're not your enemy, we're the people you swore to protect. This isn't a deployment, it's a disgrace. Don't forget all the cops cosplaying. ThIs is fucking stupid.
My 2nd will protect my 4th.
April 28, 2025 at 6:38 PM
My 2nd will protect my 4th.
Rest in peace Val Kilmer. I'm going to watch "Top Secret" tonight in your honour.
April 2, 2025 at 8:47 AM
Rest in peace Val Kilmer. I'm going to watch "Top Secret" tonight in your honour.
INTERVIEWING FOR A QUANTUM POSITION:
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: Well, I can tell you where I am but not how fast I am going.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: Well, I can tell you where I am but not how fast I am going.
April 1, 2025 at 4:05 AM
INTERVIEWING FOR A QUANTUM POSITION:
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: Well, I can tell you where I am but not how fast I am going.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: Well, I can tell you where I am but not how fast I am going.
Shaved my beard after letting it grow wild for two years. I was getting tired of being asked how my manifesto was going. Excellent by the way, thanks for asking.
March 31, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Shaved my beard after letting it grow wild for two years. I was getting tired of being asked how my manifesto was going. Excellent by the way, thanks for asking.
When I first heard of the movie The Fast and the Furious, I thought my sex tape had been leaked.
March 29, 2025 at 12:41 AM
When I first heard of the movie The Fast and the Furious, I thought my sex tape had been leaked.
Moms make turkey and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat. Dads make giraffe meat and kangaroo butter sandwiches on dinosaur bread! Dads also get visits from the Humane Society....
March 28, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Moms make turkey and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat. Dads make giraffe meat and kangaroo butter sandwiches on dinosaur bread! Dads also get visits from the Humane Society....
Some days I wish I was either a lot smarter or a lot dumber so I would either know what to do or not care.
March 23, 2025 at 4:17 PM
Some days I wish I was either a lot smarter or a lot dumber so I would either know what to do or not care.
I am as disappointed as an arborist going into a Dollar Tree for the first time.
March 16, 2025 at 3:07 PM
I am as disappointed as an arborist going into a Dollar Tree for the first time.
What if Dylan G. got into the elevator and just punched himself in the 'nads? Think that would get a message across?
iykyk
iykyk
March 15, 2025 at 12:49 AM
What if Dylan G. got into the elevator and just punched himself in the 'nads? Think that would get a message across?
iykyk
iykyk
It is this time of year that I remember that even taxation *with* representation kind of sucks too.
March 8, 2025 at 2:01 PM
It is this time of year that I remember that even taxation *with* representation kind of sucks too.
Trump wants the real Declaration of Independence moved into the Oval Office. You *know* he wants to add his signature to it, and he would the first time he gets the chance.
March 7, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Trump wants the real Declaration of Independence moved into the Oval Office. You *know* he wants to add his signature to it, and he would the first time he gets the chance.
"This is not normal" was the sign held by Rep. Melanie Stansbury before it was torn from her hands.
They thought they could silence the message, but all they did was amplify it.
They thought they could silence the message, but all they did was amplify it.
March 5, 2025 at 11:50 AM
"This is not normal" was the sign held by Rep. Melanie Stansbury before it was torn from her hands.
They thought they could silence the message, but all they did was amplify it.
They thought they could silence the message, but all they did was amplify it.
Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act 2.0 is going to crash the economy, mark my words.
March 4, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act 2.0 is going to crash the economy, mark my words.