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Jonathan Edward Durham

@thisone0verhere.bsky.social

85K followers 150 following 4.2K posts

Writer. Reader. Sometimes funny. Generalized anxiety Wunderkind. Author of “Winterset Hollow.” https://jonathanedwarddurham.substack.com http://Patreon.com/jonathanedwarddurham https://jonathanedwarddurham.com

jonathanedwarddurham.substack.com

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · Nov 17

Hey folks! Do you hate the Sunday scaries but love and/or tolerate my humor? Well you’re in luck, because I’m writing a weekly humor column! (screaming crying throwing up etc) It’s called “Know Worries” and the first issue is up now on my substack and Patreon! And it’s free! Links below and in bio!

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 3m

There should be a like/dislike system for the way you drive and then if you get ratioed hard enough by everyone else on the road you should lose your license

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 16m

Don’t you moneyball me

Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 22m

Look, I know times are tough

That’s it that’s all I got today idk

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 29m

I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you keep that browser tab open long enough eventually you’ll need it again

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 37m

It should be illegal to let me borrow a nice pen if you don’t know the model and where I can get it

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 43m

Being married is cool because it’s like having your own live-in fact checker who also can’t stand the way you breathe

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 53m

EVERYONE IN ANCIENT GREECE: having a totally precedented day

ZEUS: absolutely fucking not

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 57m

ME: hello sharks

SHARKS: hi

ME: hi

SHARKS: hi

ME: hi

SHARKS: …

ME: …

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 58m

We need like a Saturday or something right after Tuesday because Wednesday ain’t it

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 1h

Omg ❤️

Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 1h

Get out there and be the black licorice in somebody's assorted jelly beans today. Like be the best part or be the worst part just by being you

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 1h

I wish life would stop throwing all these curveballs *life throws a fastball* wow that was actually a lot faster than I thought it would be *life lobs one underhand* okay better but I totally wasn't ready so *lemon hits me in the face* it burns

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 18h

From here on out every member of our military will be in shape and clean-shaven. And have granite jaws and the highest cheekbones. And legs that go on for days and shapely calves and an ass that just won’t…