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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 6h

won't somebody rid me of this... LAMINAR priest?? (the priest's properties are modeled precisely by a single equation and he is wearing sun glasses)

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 6h

Yeah the alt text takes a long time to type out, but I like being able to just say what I did. I should've had B.B. saying "B-B-B-Bad" or similar, but I like it saying "guitar riff" too much

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 6h

idk how recognizable the skeletal "big mouth billy bass" that sings "bad to the bone" is.

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 11h

easily outed as a terminator because real orcs can't say "I'll"

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 11h

828 - Ironically, Physical Trauma From The Bomb Killed Them Outright

p1 - split panel, above, Chappy walks carelessly through a maintenance corridor while looking at his orb. Below, 2 torch-wielding Adventurers converse
Adventurer 1: This is the farthest we've ever gone, but it's time to head back.
Adventurer 2: Yeah, I can barely carry all this loot!
p2 - split panel, above, closeup of Chappy's foot getting tangled with the power cord to a "Torch Inducer" machine and unplugging it, below, the Adventurers are plunged into darkness, only their eyes are seen, loony tunes, style
Torches: ffss...
p3 - the eyes in the darkness are distended by fear
A1&2: UOAAAHH!!
A1:We're miles... MILES from the exit... If the torches don't come back on... there's NO WAY we'll make it back... bro,
p4 - A2's eyes look suddenly calm
A2: Wait, bro, our phones have a flashlight.
A1: oh yeah.
A1: WHEW! I thought we were gonna die! Thank god for modern technology!
p5 - A1&2 have turned on the flashlights of their phones, revealing a shitty-looking humanoid monster walking toward them and carrying a large bomb with an LCD screen reading "EMP"

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 11h

827 - Talking Out of Both Sides of Your Mouth

p1
Robot: Ahahahaha!! One of those guys actually got you?? You're slipping!
Exoth (cut into ~2" cubes that are floating around in no particular order): Shut up! It was a bunch of those guys!
X (cube that has the other half of his mouth): I thought they were weak cuz they looked dumb
p2 - a hand holding something like Bulma's Dragon Ball detector indicates a cube floating 2 m down a sterile hallway. The indicator reads 'R. NIP' and the cube seems to have a nipple on it
X: You need to go track down all my bits. Take this detector.
Narration: (Art is Depiction)
p3 - An unconscious assailant is slumped against the wall with open but blank eyes. The rest of its face is concealed by a stereotypical ninja mask, while the simplistic body is clear, and the circulatory system can be seen through it, though a strange lump is below the heart. A digit-less hand holds a 4-pointed shuriken
R: Damn, he sure does look dumb. Don't you need more organs than that? & What's that weird one?
X: huh??
p4: A closer look reveals the 'strange lump' is a human fetus. A closerer look reveals a second fetus behind the first.
X: Oh, I'm growing the new me in that one. Don't worry about it, just get my cubes.
R (looking closely): Why's there two?
X: Yeah, one stays here, but another needs to go down to Hell. Now, get cubes!
p5
R (noticing the 2nd fetus has hair similar to him and getting agitated): Hold up, why does this one have my haircut??
X: I SAID DON'T WORRY! Bring my brain back if you want explanations!

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 11h

826 - Pedestrian Has the Right of Slay

p1 - A 'Fred Durst-style guy' whose feet are bionically grafted into gigantic sneakers (the Pedestrian) is stomping down a dungeon corridor while several orcs flee in terror. Behind the guy, bloody splatters and footprints.
Pedestrian: I'm walkin' here! I'm walkin' here!
P: Hey! I'm walkin here!
p2 - The Troll grabs a panicked orc by the scruff of its neck
TT: Hey where the hell are you going?? What kinda orc is afraid to die??
P (in the bg): i'm walkin im walk-
Orc: N-Not like this! No steppy!
p3
TT (handing the orc an SMG): I'll catch hell, but, desperate time; take this +12 Uzi
Orc ('spraying and praying' in the general direction of the Pedestrian, headshotting another orc in the process): NO STEPPYYY!!
Gun: BRR-RATATATA!
P (three shots bounce harmlessly off his enchanted oversized sports jersey before a fourth lands in the gap in his backwards cap, 'doming' him) Hey- Hey- Hey I'm- AW!
p4
Beireia (through a Crystal Ball Communicator): What the hell!! You can't just give a gun to an orc!!
TT (holding the CBC up to the orc, who is now wearing sunglasses and a black leather jacket, and is smoking a cigar): Look, look...
Skeletal Big Mouth Billy Bass: *Guitar Riff*
B: Ehh... got its own issues, but good work, I guess.
Narration: New Monster: "Cool Orc"!

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 11h

825 - Top Ten Most Literalest Koans

p1 - a Civ6 missionary unit for Buddhism who looks suspiciously like Linji Yixuan is proselytizing. A Deranged Ruffian listens excitedly while licking his knife
LY: "If you meet a buddha on the road, you must kill him"
DR: Sounds like my kind of religion!
DR: I'm sold!
p2 - DR is on the road, and has met the Buddha, who is 4 m tall, made of bronze, has turrets full of battleship cannons, is deploying an AT fieldo, electrified seismic stomp, lotus missile pods, etc. The buddha's health bar is so long it breaks thru the panel boundary
Health Bar: Buddha on the Road (1st Form)
DR: What the-?! What is this health bar?? First Form???
p3 - DR is badly injured, he has to hold his head to stop it falling off and needs crutches to stand. He is crying real tears over his tough guy tear tattoos. Some more Civ6 missionaries for some dumb custom religion are proselytizing and their god who looks like a magical girl mascot is there too.
Missionary: Our God is WEAK as HELL!!
DR: sign me up, brother!

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 1d

Forgot the boots…

A crude pencil doodle of a xenomorph wearing a large-but-not-large-enough cowboy hat, it is wielding a lasso and six shooter, there are mesas and cacti in the bg

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 1d

yah me 2

it's Crange the alive acorn from "He Is A Good Boy" by KC Green, doing a "thoughtful pause before speaking" pose

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 2d

(Pretending to not get the joke so I can make my own, considerably worse, version of it) Guhuh! Bleh

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 2d

Iirc, for a few months in the game "cataclysm", fursuits could be reinforced with kevlar enough to make you more or less indestructible

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 2d

Of course, the next step after that: "Vegetables are scary" is not reliably funny, since many children and adults actually believe that

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G. Whilikerz @timeskull.bsky.social · 2d

"Jack O Lanterns are scary" is a good bit but please also consider the next logical step: "Pumpkins are scary"

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Reposted by G. Whilikerz

🌻The Killing of a Sacred Snep🪐 @fm-synth.bsky.social · 7d

It's officially October 1st so that means you all have to repost Assorted cheese
hell.....yes

A package of assorted cheese with a cracker in a plastic container, from Westside Market, New York City on 77 Seventh Ave

The label reads:

Assorted cheese
hell.....yes

THE SKY IS DARK THE WIND IS COLD
THE NIGHT IS YOUNG BEFORE IT'S
OLD AND GREY. WE WILL KNOW THE
THRILL OF IT ALL--BRYAN FREEY

there is a barcode and it says 1 PCS

Packed on: & Sell by: OCT 01

Total price $5.99

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Reposted by G. Whilikerz