Tiny Dinky Daffy
@tinydinkydaffy.bsky.social
Pancaked by a drunk dump truck driver 🪦
Me: *puts frozen waffle in toaster oven*
-3 minutes later-
Toaster oven: *beepity-beep*
Me, jumping out of my skin: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
-3 minutes later-
Toaster oven: *beepity-beep*
Me, jumping out of my skin: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
October 1, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Me: *puts frozen waffle in toaster oven*
-3 minutes later-
Toaster oven: *beepity-beep*
Me, jumping out of my skin: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
-3 minutes later-
Toaster oven: *beepity-beep*
Me, jumping out of my skin: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT
Me when Silver Springs comes on at the bar: “*knocks over everything on the table* AND THEY SANG IT TO EACH OTHER ON STAGE”
September 1, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Me when Silver Springs comes on at the bar: “*knocks over everything on the table* AND THEY SANG IT TO EACH OTHER ON STAGE”
Decided to finally crack open my “special” bottle of wine after years and years of storing it, and the cork completely dissolved into the bottle. Friends, don’t save your wine, or you may end up chewing it.
February 3, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Decided to finally crack open my “special” bottle of wine after years and years of storing it, and the cork completely dissolved into the bottle. Friends, don’t save your wine, or you may end up chewing it.
Autocorrect has not ever, not even once, picked the appropriate choice between “were” or “we’re” when I need it.
January 29, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Autocorrect has not ever, not even once, picked the appropriate choice between “were” or “we’re” when I need it.
I forgot my Emotional Support Hair Tie today. Please keep me in your thoughts, I’m thisclose to having a panic attack
January 28, 2025 at 4:39 PM
I forgot my Emotional Support Hair Tie today. Please keep me in your thoughts, I’m thisclose to having a panic attack
To the tune of John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy”:
Cuticle, cuticle, cuticle
Cuticle oil
Thank you.
Cuticle, cuticle, cuticle
Cuticle oil
Thank you.
January 23, 2025 at 3:27 PM
To the tune of John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy”:
Cuticle, cuticle, cuticle
Cuticle oil
Thank you.
Cuticle, cuticle, cuticle
Cuticle oil
Thank you.
Seeing the notification that somebody “started the meeting” on Teams after the meeting has already concluded is a special little treat that I enjoy
January 17, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Seeing the notification that somebody “started the meeting” on Teams after the meeting has already concluded is a special little treat that I enjoy
Couldn’t decide between “you’re welcome” and “no problem” so I said “yo problem” and now I have to quit my job
January 17, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Couldn’t decide between “you’re welcome” and “no problem” so I said “yo problem” and now I have to quit my job
Some people refer to this period as “the most wonderful time of the year“. Those people are wrong.
December 23, 2024 at 6:08 PM
Some people refer to this period as “the most wonderful time of the year“. Those people are wrong.
I asked the tech who was x-raying my foot if he could take another one because my eyes were closed and he just sighed for a full minute
December 5, 2024 at 6:18 AM
I asked the tech who was x-raying my foot if he could take another one because my eyes were closed and he just sighed for a full minute
I’ll take any leftover stuffing you guys have
November 29, 2024 at 2:40 AM
I’ll take any leftover stuffing you guys have
People on OfferUp immediately after asking if something is still available
a blurry picture of a person in a red and white dress
Alt: a gif of a person frantically running and diving behind a bush to hide
media.tenor.com
November 13, 2024 at 5:27 PM
People on OfferUp immediately after asking if something is still available
If you start the Teams meeting a full 5 minutes early, you’re a cop.
May 30, 2024 at 7:01 PM
If you start the Teams meeting a full 5 minutes early, you’re a cop.
I’m not sure but I think I found him 🤔
February 27, 2024 at 10:48 PM
I’m not sure but I think I found him 🤔
“High heels on my tippies” has got to be my favorite line from any song ever
January 2, 2024 at 4:09 PM
“High heels on my tippies” has got to be my favorite line from any song ever
It just doesn’t feel like the Honda days 😕
December 25, 2023 at 8:31 PM
It just doesn’t feel like the Honda days 😕
The best gift you can give me for Christmas is to free me from the obligation of us exchanging gifts in the first place ❤️💚
December 24, 2023 at 12:54 AM
The best gift you can give me for Christmas is to free me from the obligation of us exchanging gifts in the first place ❤️💚
Hurt tummies hurt tummies
November 25, 2023 at 5:38 AM
Hurt tummies hurt tummies
The potatoes are calling and I must go
November 10, 2023 at 7:06 AM
The potatoes are calling and I must go
Wish someone would oust me 😔
October 5, 2023 at 2:20 AM
Wish someone would oust me 😔
Is SC Johnson no longer a family company? And whatever happened to Wax? These are the things that keep me up at night.
September 1, 2023 at 4:27 PM
Is SC Johnson no longer a family company? And whatever happened to Wax? These are the things that keep me up at night.
Not me following Trump’s trip to GA on a map like it’s my DoorDash order
August 24, 2023 at 8:43 PM
Not me following Trump’s trip to GA on a map like it’s my DoorDash order
The remote-worker equivalent of twirling your hair to see if they notice your haircut is sending constant emails to see if they notice your new font choice
August 22, 2023 at 10:03 PM
The remote-worker equivalent of twirling your hair to see if they notice your haircut is sending constant emails to see if they notice your new font choice
I love when TV shows cut in during the ad break to be like “hey, it’s me! Don’t worry we’re gonna be back after the rest of the commercials! Ok bye!”
August 18, 2023 at 2:40 AM
I love when TV shows cut in during the ad break to be like “hey, it’s me! Don’t worry we’re gonna be back after the rest of the commercials! Ok bye!”
I don’t know what “racketeering” is but it sounds fun as hell
August 14, 2023 at 5:30 PM
I don’t know what “racketeering” is but it sounds fun as hell