Ted Van Houten
@tjvanhouten.bsky.social
American Song Contest apologist. Probably better than you at pub trivia. Always asking for side plates at restaurants. Still holding out hope for a fifth season of For Love or Money 🏳️🌈
DC
DC
My #ESC250 scorecard, submitted last night.
I could fill this out ten times over and still have songs I like, but I voted strategically with my top two, and the rest is favorites from 2025 and the recent past.
I could fill this out ten times over and still have songs I like, but I voted strategically with my top two, and the rest is favorites from 2025 and the recent past.
December 7, 2025 at 3:44 PM
My #ESC250 scorecard, submitted last night.
I could fill this out ten times over and still have songs I like, but I voted strategically with my top two, and the rest is favorites from 2025 and the recent past.
I could fill this out ten times over and still have songs I like, but I voted strategically with my top two, and the rest is favorites from 2025 and the recent past.
my Spotify wrapped top songs is four from Eurovision (🇸🇪🇦🇱🇧🇪🇬🇷) and Cuntissimo
December 3, 2025 at 3:35 PM
my Spotify wrapped top songs is four from Eurovision (🇸🇪🇦🇱🇧🇪🇬🇷) and Cuntissimo
found it - it's a single panel comic
October 27, 2025 at 2:08 AM
found it - it's a single panel comic
❌ Locktober
❌ Jocktober
❌ Socktober
✅ Tokstober
❌ Jocktober
❌ Socktober
✅ Tokstober
October 1, 2025 at 1:38 PM
❌ Locktober
❌ Jocktober
❌ Socktober
✅ Tokstober
❌ Jocktober
❌ Socktober
✅ Tokstober
Fully prepared to say farewell to the Summer of Lambrusco 🍷
(every summer is the Summer of Lambrusco)
(every summer is the Summer of Lambrusco)
September 19, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Fully prepared to say farewell to the Summer of Lambrusco 🍷
(every summer is the Summer of Lambrusco)
(every summer is the Summer of Lambrusco)
took me four tries to stomp this spotted lanternfly to death
September 13, 2025 at 11:32 PM
took me four tries to stomp this spotted lanternfly to death
Amber is the color of my 0.5K energy
September 1, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Amber is the color of my 0.5K energy
additional counterpoint
August 30, 2025 at 6:34 AM
additional counterpoint
I am begging this company to come up with a new name 😳😂
August 29, 2025 at 2:08 PM
I am begging this company to come up with a new name 😳😂
Eight years ago today, I hosted a watch party for Leah Remini’s Scientology show and my friend Page made this Sea Org billion year contract sheet cake
August 27, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Eight years ago today, I hosted a watch party for Leah Remini’s Scientology show and my friend Page made this Sea Org billion year contract sheet cake
perfect day for my annual gay pool party 😎🏳️🌈💦
August 23, 2025 at 5:33 PM
perfect day for my annual gay pool party 😎🏳️🌈💦
August 19, 2025 at 7:43 PM
I went here and they said they knew you
August 15, 2025 at 8:05 PM
I went here and they said they knew you
proof I’m in Chicago for the next few days for any bloomfies I may have here
August 14, 2025 at 8:01 PM
proof I’m in Chicago for the next few days for any bloomfies I may have here
when Star 92.9 is playing Promises, Promises by Naked Eyes, you don’t need to go to your car trip playlist right away
August 1, 2025 at 2:24 PM
when Star 92.9 is playing Promises, Promises by Naked Eyes, you don’t need to go to your car trip playlist right away
spending a lot of time in cars this week so deities bless the billboard minivan rock playlist
July 29, 2025 at 3:39 PM
spending a lot of time in cars this week so deities bless the billboard minivan rock playlist
first read that last line as “let’s pretend I’m a towel”
July 29, 2025 at 2:26 PM
first read that last line as “let’s pretend I’m a towel”
the black hole is in the back
(credit to my non-bloomfie partner for the joke)
(credit to my non-bloomfie partner for the joke)
July 27, 2025 at 11:31 PM
the black hole is in the back
(credit to my non-bloomfie partner for the joke)
(credit to my non-bloomfie partner for the joke)
no thoughts just putt putt
July 27, 2025 at 11:13 PM
no thoughts just putt putt