T.K. Whitman
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tkwhitman.bsky.social
T.K. Whitman
@tkwhitman.bsky.social
Writer of political humor and essays. Lover of nature and democracy.

https://americanabsurdity.substack.com/
Somehow an app that can identify copyrighted music in half a second can’t seem to figure out why “Epstein” keeps disappearing.

www.the-independent.com/tech/tiktok-...
TikTok users in the US can’t write ‘Epstein’ or see anti-Trump videos
Alleged censorship comes after investors loyal to Trump take over social media platform
www.the-independent.com
January 28, 2026 at 3:36 AM
Opposition to funding has become the latest expression of legislative concern, replacing strongly worded letters, which had begun to feel overwrought.

americanabsurdity.substack.com/p/congress-e...
Congress Experiments With Opposing Money in Principle
Disclaimer: This article is satire.
americanabsurdity.substack.com
January 28, 2026 at 12:55 AM
The government lost 10,000 Ph.D.s and immediately became very confident about things it doesn’t understand.

www.science.org/content/arti...
U.S. government has lost more than 10,000 STEM Ph.D.s since Trump took office
A Science analysis reveals how many were fired, retired, or quit across 14 agencies
www.science.org
January 27, 2026 at 9:44 PM
Officials insist nothing happened, which is usually how you know something definitely happened.

www.reuters.com/world/bovino...
Bovino removed from his role as US Border Patrol commander at large, The Atlantic reports
Gregory Bovino has been removed from his role as the "commander at large" for the U.S. Border Patrol and will return to his former job in California, where he is expected to retire soon, the Atlantic ...
www.reuters.com
January 27, 2026 at 3:59 AM
For years, China has been the sun around which every defense memo orbited, and now it’s being quietly reclassified as ‘one of several concerns,’ like a houseplant you still water but no longer talk to.

americanabsurdity.substack.com/p/after-year...
The Pentagon’s Strategic Anxiety Era Begins
Disclaimer: This article is satire.
americanabsurdity.substack.com
January 27, 2026 at 12:05 AM
It was reported that companies seem to be saying ‘yes’ to new equipment with the same enthusiasm they once reserved for office coffee.

www.reuters.com/business/fin...
US business borrowing for equipment rises over 5% in December, ELFA says
U.S. companies borrowed 5.9% more to finance equipment purchases in December than a year earlier, reaching the second-highest level ever, the Equipment Leasing and Finance Association said on Monday.
www.reuters.com
January 26, 2026 at 9:32 PM
In politics, ‘flat-out insane’ is that rare moment when legal experts and humorists can finally agree.

www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
Minn. AG calls Trump administration version of shooting ‘flat-out insane’
Alex Pretti’s death came two weeks after the killing of Renée Good, who was shot by an Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer in Minneapolis on Jan. 7.
www.washingtonpost.com
January 26, 2026 at 11:58 AM
Winter Storm Fern is doing more to stop travel and productivity than any bipartisan bill ever could.

www.reuters.com/business/env...
Winter storm grips much of US in snow, ice, Arctic cold
Warnings were posted for most of the eastern third of the United States covering 118 million people, as the deep freeze strained energy supplies in some areas, and the National Weather Service predict...
www.reuters.com
January 26, 2026 at 3:13 AM
Nothing screams national security like ensuring the White House can host a disco-themed gala at any moment.

www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
Trump says it’s ‘too late’ to stop White House ballroom construction
The president’s comments came after Justice Department lawyers argued that the ballroom plans can still be modified and they plan to wait for federal reviews.
www.washingtonpost.com
January 26, 2026 at 1:58 AM