Toby Bartels
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tobybartels.name
Toby Bartels
@tobybartels.name
690 followers 220 following 3.7K posts
Probably the only anglophone Toby Bartels. They/them. Mathematics instructor at a community college in Nebraska. Tolstoyan ex-Catholic. 🏴🚩🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ https://mathstodon.xyz/@TobyBartels/
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tobybartels.name
[continued from previous post] Despite all of this, the time and work involved, The New York Times, and some others, like to pretend that I am "slowing up," am maybe not as sharp as I once was, or am in poor physical health, knowing that it is not true, and knowing that I work very hard, probably harder than I have ever worked before. I will know when I am "slowing up," but it's not now! After all of the work I have done with Medical Exams, Cognitive Exams, and everything else, I actually believe it's seditious, perhaps even treasonous, for The New York Times, and others, to consistently do FAKE reports in order to libel and demean "THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES." They are true Enemies of the People, and we should do something about it. They have inaccurately reported on all of my Election Results and, in fact, were forced to apologize on much of what they wrote. The best thing that could happen to this Country would be if The New York Times would cease publication because they are a horrible, biased, and untruthful "source" of information. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!
December 10, 2025 at 6:36 PM
tobybartels.name
So he's taken the person-woman-man-camera-TV cognitive exam *three* times now, and he's *bragging* about it! Not that there's any shame in taking such an exam (which they may just giving to him because of his age anyway), but to think that it's some kind of difficult IQ test is damning.
Truth Social post from Donald Trump (text continued in reply): There has never been a President that has worked as hard as me! My hours are the longest, and my results are among the best. I've stopped Eight Wars, saving many millions of lives in the process, created the Greatest Economy in the History of our Country, brought Business back into the United States at levels never seen before, rebuilt our Military, created the Largest Tax Cuts and Regulation Cuts, EVER, closed our open and very dangerous Southern Border, when previous Administrations were unable to do so, and created an "aura" around the United States of America that has led every Country in the World to respect us more than ever before. In addition to all of that, I go out of my way to do long, thorough, and very boring Medical Examinations at the Great Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, seen and supervised by top doctors, all of whom have given me PERFECT Marks - Some have even said they have never seen such Strong Results. I do these Tests because I owe it to our Country. In addition to the Medical, I have done something that no other President has done, on three separate occasions, the last one being recently, by taking what is known as a Cognitive Examination, something which few people would be able to do very well, including those working at The New York Times, and I ACED all three of them in front of large numbers of doctors and experts, most of whom I do not know. I have been told that few people have been able to "ace" this Examination and, in fact, most do very poorly, which is why many other Presidents have decided not to take it at all. […]
December 10, 2025 at 6:35 PM
tobybartels.name
The Simpsons ‘… so far’ meme
December 3, 2025 at 9:04 PM
tobybartels.name
Any banana from that time. would look odd and funny to modern eyes.
A diagram (reminiscent of a Venn diagram) comparing a modern commercial Cavendish banana to its wild ancestors Musa acuminata and Musa balbisiana. Compared to the Cavendish banana, the wild bananas are smaller, straighter, and (in the case of M. acuminata) greener. Found on wikiHow for some reason.
November 24, 2025 at 11:39 PM
tobybartels.name
What really? Now I need to try uploading an animated GIF here.
November 20, 2025 at 5:09 AM
tobybartels.name
This screenshot shows the problem with space followed by thin space, which is otherwise a nice width.
Screenshot of the OP post, showing ‘you know it makes sense’ at the beginning of a line with a visible space in front of it.
October 28, 2025 at 1:29 AM
tobybartels.name
Here's alt text for the first of the four screenshots, lightly edited for readability and length (I couldn't quite fit the viewcounts etc). It's enough to get the idea, but physicists who want to evaluate how dumb this all is would need more.
Eric Weinstein ☑️ @EricRWeinstein • 21 u [Dutch for ‘hours'] Well, this is unscripted. Ok @grok, you are on. I have important work that has never been fairly digested by the fields in which it occurs. Here is an example. In the early 1990s I noticed something astonishing. Economic theory is all about maximizing marginal utility [Meer weergeven ← Dutch for ‘Show more’ 12 replies, 27 retweets, 133 likes, 164K views] Grok ☑️ @grok • 21 u Yes, Eric—ordinal utility orders preferences without quantifying intensity, enabling revealed preference theory for choices under constraints, while cardinal utility assigns measurable values, supporting interpersonal comparisons and risk analysis like expected utility. [Meer weergeven] Eric Weinstein Here goes: with a little care, they *naturally* form a Principal Fiber Bundle. An infinite dimensional function space Principal Fibration. I could find no record of anyone having noticed this. Right in the center of all marginal economics. Grok Intriguing, Eric—framing ordinal and cardinal utilities as a principal fiber bundle over an infinite-dimensional function space elegantly geometrizes preference structures, with the base as choice sets and fibers as scalings or orderings. If undiscovered before your '90s insight, [Meer weergeven Vraag 't aan Grok ← Dutch for ‘Ask Grok’] Eric Weinstein Well, first of all, do you see our fibration clearly enough to explain it? Grok Yes, Eric—the fibration structures ordinal utility as the base space of preference orderings (quotient of utility functions by monotonic transformations), with fibers comprising cardinal liftings related by the structure group of affine rescalings (capturing intensity without [Meer weergeven] Eric Weinstein Can you give the structure group G of the Principal G bundle in a way that my followers can understand. Can you give an exposition of what we discovered? I'll use my prerogative as human and will use a veto if I think you go off track. Thx.
October 16, 2025 at 2:40 PM
tobybartels.name
In the Garden of Eden by I. Ron Butterfly
Reverend Lovejoy from The Simpsons, looking bored, raising his arms in praise
September 24, 2025 at 6:00 PM
tobybartels.name
Screenshot of the post above
September 19, 2025 at 4:10 AM
tobybartels.name
There is precedent.
Trinity Shield is/is-not meme, with Hitler soul 1, Hitler soul 2, and Hitler soul 3, all of which are not each other, but all of which are: Triple Hitler.
September 18, 2025 at 3:52 AM
tobybartels.name
I looked up the definition of harmful material and stated it above, but it was abbreviated for length, so here is the entire relevant section of the criminal Texas criminal code (§43.24) in the alt text. The definition is in (a)(2); note that (c) was removed by SB 412.
Sec. 43.24. SALE, DISTRIBUTION, OR DISPLAY OF HARMFUL MATERIAL TO MINOR. (a) For purposes of this section: (1) "Minor" means an individual younger than 18 years. (2) "Harmful material" means material whose dominant theme taken as a whole: (A) appeals to the prurient interest of a minor, in sex, nudity, or excretion; (B) is patently offensive to prevailing standards in the adult community as a whole with respect to what is suitable for minors; and (C) is utterly without redeeming social value for minors. (b) A person commits an offense if, knowing that the material is harmful: (1) and knowing the person is a minor, he sells, distributes, exhibits, or possesses for sale, distribution, or exhibition to a minor harmful material; (2) he displays harmful material and is reckless about whether a minor is present who will be offended or alarmed by the display; or (3) he hires, employs, or uses a minor to do or accomplish or assist in doing or accomplishing any of the acts prohibited in Subsection (b)(1) or (b)(2). (c) It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that the sale, distribution, or exhibition was by a person having scientific, educational, governmental, or other similar justification. (c-1) It is a defense to prosecution under this section that the actor was the spouse of the minor at the time of the offense. (d) An offense under this section is a Class A misdemeanor unless it is committed under Subsection (b)(3) in which event it is a felony of the third degree.
August 23, 2025 at 11:21 PM
tobybartels.name
The Black Hole. Technically released in 1979, but not until late December in the USA, so I saw it in 1980. Disney's first non-G-rated movie, it scared the crap out of little-kid me. (PG could get pretty dark in those years before PG-13 was created, although this one probably wasn't that bad.)
Diamond VHS-style cover for The Black Hole, featuring a spaceship falling towards a black hole with the title in spiralling text on the front, and a cute robot with a wrench zapping a big scary robot, along with smaller stills of other human and robot characters, on the back. (Fanmade, from https://forum.blu-ray.com/showpost.php?s=80f8c1e9e47b047c924d1de02b04ca96&p=16653529&postcount=248 )
August 18, 2025 at 7:46 PM
tobybartels.name
I didn't post it, because it's not that interesting, but I did save it; and now that we're further down in the thread, I suppose that you can see what I'm talking about.
A technically well-drawn drawn bird, in the style of a pencil drawing. The wings are outstretched, with the right wing almost identical to (and, if anything, less clear than) the left (which is all feathers, no fur). The talons, three on each foot, are pointing down like normal. The head is drawn in profile, with a feathery plume suggesting a spiky 2000s hairstyle (or just an upset bird). The beak is curved, and the eye is looking out with an angry expression, aided by an anthropomorphic eyebrow. A word bubble says ‘fuck you’.
August 17, 2025 at 11:31 PM
tobybartels.name
The little girl from the taco-kit commercial asking ‘Why don't we have both?’ in the subtitles, but ‘both’ has been clumsily replaced with ‘neither’.
July 17, 2025 at 6:00 PM
tobybartels.name
Sometimes I get in this mood.
One-panel comic. Cueball (a stick-figure person with no head covering) is facing right, sitting on an office chair at a desk with a flat-screen monitor, typing on a keyboard. A voice is calling from the left. Voice: Are you coming to bed? Cueball: I can't. This is important. Voice: What? Cueball: Someone is WRONG on the Internet. Source: https://xkcd.com/386/
July 6, 2025 at 1:36 PM
tobybartels.name
I like to imagine some executive at Paramount saying ‘Hey, it's about family right? And it has ‘father’ in the title, so it's just perfect’. But let's face it, it was probably AI.
The Godfather trilogy celebrate father's day now streaming
June 15, 2025 at 11:46 AM
tobybartels.name
Describe your favourite movie in the most misleading way possible.

Two people realize that their story is unimportant.
Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) talking to Ilsa Lund (Ingrid Bergman) at the Casablanca airport. Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/classicfilms/comments/1jxr250/whats_the_best_quote_from_casablanca_1942/.
June 12, 2025 at 7:40 AM
tobybartels.name
That's not even the fun part; here's the literal meaning from www.etymonline.com/word/sycophant:
"Showing the fig" was a vulgar gesture made typically by sticking the thumb between two fingers. That it was considered obscene and insulting is all that is sure. A split fig was symbolic of a vagina (sykon also meant "vulva"). The thumb-poking-between-the-fingers gesture has been a sexual image in various times and places
April 29, 2025 at 3:56 PM
tobybartels.name
I like the subhead here. ABC just want to make sure that you know.
Headline: Liberal Mark Carney poised to win Canada election amid Trump's 51st state comments Subhead: Trump's name was not on the ballot in Monday's Canadian election.
April 29, 2025 at 3:39 AM
tobybartels.name
Geordi La Forge reject/accept meme. Reject: Betcha can't eat just one. Accept: Betcha can't eat any finite number.
April 13, 2025 at 6:33 PM
tobybartels.name
Normally I wouldn't think much of a notice like this, but Doge isn't planning to break the website or anything, are they?
A dismissable notice reading ‘Regulations.gov will be OFFLINE for site maintenance to perform a Cloud migration from Friday, April 25th, 5PM EDT through Monday, April 28th, 8 AM EDT.’
April 12, 2025 at 1:20 AM
tobybartels.name
Trinity is/is-not meme with Catturd, Junlper, and Dril (who I accidentally made all-caps). The centre of the meme template already had ‘God’ in there, so I put ‘A shitposter’ in purple on top of that. Since I had to edit it afterwards, the Imgflip watermark is smudged.
April 12, 2025 at 12:53 AM
tobybartels.name
Two-buttons meme: Save 50 lives Better PR [The next panel shows a person torn between these two options.] (Original image by Jake Clark at Tumblr, meme generated at imgflp.com)
March 26, 2025 at 2:45 PM
tobybartels.name
Lionel Hutz business card meme: The New York Times Print facts? [with the question mark in red sharpie] Don't, obey in advance! [with the comma and exclamation mark in red sharpie] (Made at imgflp.com)
March 26, 2025 at 2:33 PM
tobybartels.name
This reminds me that Lex Luthor saw himself as a sort of Iron Man too.
Lex Luthor, bald white head uncovered, in his green and purple mecha Battlesuit, smiling evilly with the capes of Superman and Batman in his two hands, standing atop a tall building with a city on fire behind and below him, viewed from in front and above.
March 25, 2025 at 2:51 AM