Tony Sam
@toekneesam.bsky.social
Emmy-Winning Producer, Comic, Actor, Toy Lover & Sad Poet. Former LA WEEKLY Comic to Watch. REP: @reignagency Check out my books & comedy album on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Social Media is boring when everyone agrees. 😖
September 16, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Social Media is boring when everyone agrees. 😖
Los Angeles has been my home for nearly 18 years and while it is definitely a beautiful toilet with a multitude of problems, I wouldn’t live anywhere else.
Here’s to a speedy recovery to all those affected by the fires.
❤️
Here’s to a speedy recovery to all those affected by the fires.
❤️
January 19, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Los Angeles has been my home for nearly 18 years and while it is definitely a beautiful toilet with a multitude of problems, I wouldn’t live anywhere else.
Here’s to a speedy recovery to all those affected by the fires.
❤️
Here’s to a speedy recovery to all those affected by the fires.
❤️
Thinking of posting another unliked tumbleweed of words.
January 16, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Thinking of posting another unliked tumbleweed of words.
An Airline CEO’s desk chair should be the same size as a seat in Coach.
January 4, 2025 at 9:35 AM
An Airline CEO’s desk chair should be the same size as a seat in Coach.
Every new born baby in Europe is given a complimentary pack of cigarettes.
January 2, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Every new born baby in Europe is given a complimentary pack of cigarettes.
I’d rather shit YOUR pants, amiright?!!!
December 20, 2024 at 11:22 PM
I’d rather shit YOUR pants, amiright?!!!
I’m flying a drone at Christmas dinner.
December 20, 2024 at 11:05 PM
I’m flying a drone at Christmas dinner.
This holiday season why not give the gift that keeps on giving: completely uninformed, yet highly argumentative political discourse.
December 18, 2024 at 4:01 AM
This holiday season why not give the gift that keeps on giving: completely uninformed, yet highly argumentative political discourse.
For $10, I’ll tell you who my Secret Santa is.
December 13, 2024 at 8:35 PM
For $10, I’ll tell you who my Secret Santa is.
Dark chocolate is basically salad.
December 11, 2024 at 9:15 PM
Dark chocolate is basically salad.
People who disagree with you are trash!
December 11, 2024 at 1:41 AM
People who disagree with you are trash!
I was visited by three ghosts and they said to just to “keep on, keepin’ on.”
December 5, 2024 at 11:25 PM
I was visited by three ghosts and they said to just to “keep on, keepin’ on.”
How about filling Hot Pockets with some cold hard cash!?!!
December 4, 2024 at 11:55 PM
How about filling Hot Pockets with some cold hard cash!?!!
The one thing Superman dreads finding on laundry day is a pocket full of kryptonite.
December 2, 2024 at 9:59 PM
The one thing Superman dreads finding on laundry day is a pocket full of kryptonite.
November 29, 2024 at 10:11 PM
Your mom said I could take all the leftovers!
November 29, 2024 at 6:50 PM
Your mom said I could take all the leftovers!
Not to brag, but I just watched Ron Perlman parallel park and spoiler alert: it wasn’t pretty!
November 27, 2024 at 7:27 PM
Not to brag, but I just watched Ron Perlman parallel park and spoiler alert: it wasn’t pretty!
Everyone should sit in a tense reflective and somber silence at every holiday meal.
November 27, 2024 at 4:13 PM
Everyone should sit in a tense reflective and somber silence at every holiday meal.
FYI: There’s still just enough time left to build a turkey catapult!
November 27, 2024 at 3:41 PM
FYI: There’s still just enough time left to build a turkey catapult!
‘Tis the season to get into a verbal argument with a parking lot attendant. Fa la la la la, la la la la….
November 26, 2024 at 6:28 PM
‘Tis the season to get into a verbal argument with a parking lot attendant. Fa la la la la, la la la la….
When we die, these words will appear on all our graves:
November 26, 2024 at 3:29 PM
When we die, these words will appear on all our graves:
Will I be happier here? Sources say, no.
November 15, 2024 at 3:22 PM
Will I be happier here? Sources say, no.
I'm here to waste my life even more!
February 22, 2024 at 7:05 PM
I'm here to waste my life even more!