Mx. Toffer D. Brutechild, HSD-SC
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toffer.shitposting.blog
Mx. Toffer D. Brutechild, HSD-SC
@toffer.shitposting.blog
Formerly employed by the Pope of Eruke. Diagnosed with a vague and grave disease by Dr. Sam Goldfarb. Misdiagnosed as ENTJ-T by web quizzes.

https://itstoffer.com
What do you people fill your days with? I started waking up early and like, what should I be doing?
December 26, 2025 at 11:46 AM
“I don’t need an egg, g. I need an effigy.” ― Me, while using a butane torch to melt the cheese on a breakfast taco
December 26, 2025 at 11:38 AM
A phrase that I find pleasing the repeat is: I don’t need an egg, g. I need an effigy.

It really fits many genres of musicality.
December 26, 2025 at 10:38 AM
“All baddies have stomach issues!” ― me while grabbing my stomach at 4am
December 26, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Trying to chew two pieces of gum at the same time without them mixing.
December 25, 2025 at 11:14 PM
The sleigh has crashed offshore near
Latvia.

He's dead.
December 25, 2025 at 12:01 AM
In a truly free market Avatar wouldn’t have gotten any sequels.
December 23, 2025 at 11:30 AM
Hi, I have the following on full blast, but still feel hot and sweaty while working out.

Vornado PEBL
Vornado Pivot Clip
Vornado VFAN™ Jr.
Ceiling fan

Please help me or I might sit in a chair and read once I find the right lamp.
December 23, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Annie's Organic Birthday Cake Bunny Grahams barely cereal.
December 23, 2025 at 10:10 AM
I'm in my small-pencil-behind-my-ear era.
December 23, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Hi.
December 23, 2025 at 9:03 AM
There seems to be a decent amount of Americans who think kings and swastikas are nifty.
December 22, 2025 at 9:08 AM
I'll fuck your life up as a blonde.
December 22, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Please universe, I beg of you. Could you make that man have a deadly stroke a little after December 21, 2025 at 1:15 PM central time. Like before appetizers come, but after drinks have been served? Thank you. Don’t fucking monkey paw this either. I want it reported on immediately.
December 18, 2025 at 1:37 AM
I'm tired of men debating college children, let's see them bare-knuckle box. No gear or rules. Just some late 30s or 40-somethings in the ring with a kid on their third Monster of the day hopped up on pre-workout.

Change *my* mind, bitch.
December 16, 2025 at 10:34 PM
I'm making vegetarian chili while reading short stories by Anaïs Nin and eating Swiss almond vanilla ice cream.
December 16, 2025 at 3:41 AM
It's so strange to me that a bigot screaming about killing a marginalized group is protected speech, but someone saying the same thing about politicians is illegal in America.
December 13, 2025 at 3:13 PM
New-To-Me Albums and EPs so far today:
- House In The Woods by Low Roar
- Before Blue by Rainsford
- Creature of Destruction by Jane Leo (Wow is a great track)
- So Close To What by Tate McRae
- My World - EP by Karen Dió
- and it's been raining ever since... by PRONOUN
December 13, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I've now had four McDonalds breakfast meals today.

2 large iced coffees
2 large frappe
4 egg biscuits with cheese
6 hash browns
December 13, 2025 at 2:48 PM
I had a large French vanilla ice coffee with, egg biscuit with cheese, and a hash brown on that biscuit. Then I had *another* large French vanilla ice coffee with, egg biscuit with cheese, and a hash brown on that biscuit.
December 13, 2025 at 11:35 AM
www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

If I have ever brought you joy, then you are legally required to buy me shit when I post my wishlist yearly.
Amazon.com
www.amazon.com
December 11, 2025 at 6:09 PM
My loins are telling me to give your family three sheep.
December 11, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Remember when Rockefeller made the south better by getting us to stop walking in shit?
December 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
I'm easily in the top hundred-million funniest people on earth.
December 10, 2025 at 3:34 PM
This dril tweet really did change my life.

x.com/dril/status/...
wint (@dril) on X
getting brain damage from pissing my self off
x.com
December 8, 2025 at 10:12 AM