Mx. Toffer D. Brutechild, HSD-SC
@toffer.shitposting.blog
Formerly employed by the Pope of Eruke. Diagnosed with a vague and grave disease by Dr. Sam Goldfarb. Misdiagnosed as ENTJ-T by web quizzes.
https://itstoffer.com
https://itstoffer.com
What do you people fill your days with? I started waking up early and like, what should I be doing?
December 26, 2025 at 11:46 AM
What do you people fill your days with? I started waking up early and like, what should I be doing?
“I don’t need an egg, g. I need an effigy.” ― Me, while using a butane torch to melt the cheese on a breakfast taco
December 26, 2025 at 11:38 AM
“I don’t need an egg, g. I need an effigy.” ― Me, while using a butane torch to melt the cheese on a breakfast taco
A phrase that I find pleasing the repeat is: I don’t need an egg, g. I need an effigy.
It really fits many genres of musicality.
It really fits many genres of musicality.
December 26, 2025 at 10:38 AM
A phrase that I find pleasing the repeat is: I don’t need an egg, g. I need an effigy.
It really fits many genres of musicality.
It really fits many genres of musicality.
“All baddies have stomach issues!” ― me while grabbing my stomach at 4am
December 26, 2025 at 10:06 AM
“All baddies have stomach issues!” ― me while grabbing my stomach at 4am
Trying to chew two pieces of gum at the same time without them mixing.
December 25, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Trying to chew two pieces of gum at the same time without them mixing.
The sleigh has crashed offshore near
Latvia.
He's dead.
Latvia.
He's dead.
December 25, 2025 at 12:01 AM
The sleigh has crashed offshore near
Latvia.
He's dead.
Latvia.
He's dead.
In a truly free market Avatar wouldn’t have gotten any sequels.
December 23, 2025 at 11:30 AM
In a truly free market Avatar wouldn’t have gotten any sequels.
Hi, I have the following on full blast, but still feel hot and sweaty while working out.
Vornado PEBL
Vornado Pivot Clip
Vornado VFAN™ Jr.
Ceiling fan
Please help me or I might sit in a chair and read once I find the right lamp.
Vornado PEBL
Vornado Pivot Clip
Vornado VFAN™ Jr.
Ceiling fan
Please help me or I might sit in a chair and read once I find the right lamp.
December 23, 2025 at 11:28 AM
Hi, I have the following on full blast, but still feel hot and sweaty while working out.
Vornado PEBL
Vornado Pivot Clip
Vornado VFAN™ Jr.
Ceiling fan
Please help me or I might sit in a chair and read once I find the right lamp.
Vornado PEBL
Vornado Pivot Clip
Vornado VFAN™ Jr.
Ceiling fan
Please help me or I might sit in a chair and read once I find the right lamp.
Annie's Organic Birthday Cake Bunny Grahams barely cereal.
December 23, 2025 at 10:10 AM
Annie's Organic Birthday Cake Bunny Grahams barely cereal.
I'm in my small-pencil-behind-my-ear era.
December 23, 2025 at 9:30 AM
I'm in my small-pencil-behind-my-ear era.
There seems to be a decent amount of Americans who think kings and swastikas are nifty.
December 22, 2025 at 9:08 AM
There seems to be a decent amount of Americans who think kings and swastikas are nifty.
I'll fuck your life up as a blonde.
December 22, 2025 at 9:00 AM
I'll fuck your life up as a blonde.
Please universe, I beg of you. Could you make that man have a deadly stroke a little after December 21, 2025 at 1:15 PM central time. Like before appetizers come, but after drinks have been served? Thank you. Don’t fucking monkey paw this either. I want it reported on immediately.
December 18, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Please universe, I beg of you. Could you make that man have a deadly stroke a little after December 21, 2025 at 1:15 PM central time. Like before appetizers come, but after drinks have been served? Thank you. Don’t fucking monkey paw this either. I want it reported on immediately.
I'm tired of men debating college children, let's see them bare-knuckle box. No gear or rules. Just some late 30s or 40-somethings in the ring with a kid on their third Monster of the day hopped up on pre-workout.
Change *my* mind, bitch.
Change *my* mind, bitch.
December 16, 2025 at 10:34 PM
I'm tired of men debating college children, let's see them bare-knuckle box. No gear or rules. Just some late 30s or 40-somethings in the ring with a kid on their third Monster of the day hopped up on pre-workout.
Change *my* mind, bitch.
Change *my* mind, bitch.
I'm making vegetarian chili while reading short stories by Anaïs Nin and eating Swiss almond vanilla ice cream.
December 16, 2025 at 3:41 AM
I'm making vegetarian chili while reading short stories by Anaïs Nin and eating Swiss almond vanilla ice cream.
It's so strange to me that a bigot screaming about killing a marginalized group is protected speech, but someone saying the same thing about politicians is illegal in America.
December 13, 2025 at 3:13 PM
It's so strange to me that a bigot screaming about killing a marginalized group is protected speech, but someone saying the same thing about politicians is illegal in America.
New-To-Me Albums and EPs so far today:
- House In The Woods by Low Roar
- Before Blue by Rainsford
- Creature of Destruction by Jane Leo (Wow is a great track)
- So Close To What by Tate McRae
- My World - EP by Karen Dió
- and it's been raining ever since... by PRONOUN
- House In The Woods by Low Roar
- Before Blue by Rainsford
- Creature of Destruction by Jane Leo (Wow is a great track)
- So Close To What by Tate McRae
- My World - EP by Karen Dió
- and it's been raining ever since... by PRONOUN
December 13, 2025 at 3:03 PM
New-To-Me Albums and EPs so far today:
- House In The Woods by Low Roar
- Before Blue by Rainsford
- Creature of Destruction by Jane Leo (Wow is a great track)
- So Close To What by Tate McRae
- My World - EP by Karen Dió
- and it's been raining ever since... by PRONOUN
- House In The Woods by Low Roar
- Before Blue by Rainsford
- Creature of Destruction by Jane Leo (Wow is a great track)
- So Close To What by Tate McRae
- My World - EP by Karen Dió
- and it's been raining ever since... by PRONOUN
I've now had four McDonalds breakfast meals today.
2 large iced coffees
2 large frappe
4 egg biscuits with cheese
6 hash browns
2 large iced coffees
2 large frappe
4 egg biscuits with cheese
6 hash browns
December 13, 2025 at 2:48 PM
I've now had four McDonalds breakfast meals today.
2 large iced coffees
2 large frappe
4 egg biscuits with cheese
6 hash browns
2 large iced coffees
2 large frappe
4 egg biscuits with cheese
6 hash browns
I had a large French vanilla ice coffee with, egg biscuit with cheese, and a hash brown on that biscuit. Then I had *another* large French vanilla ice coffee with, egg biscuit with cheese, and a hash brown on that biscuit.
December 13, 2025 at 11:35 AM
I had a large French vanilla ice coffee with, egg biscuit with cheese, and a hash brown on that biscuit. Then I had *another* large French vanilla ice coffee with, egg biscuit with cheese, and a hash brown on that biscuit.
www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
If I have ever brought you joy, then you are legally required to buy me shit when I post my wishlist yearly.
If I have ever brought you joy, then you are legally required to buy me shit when I post my wishlist yearly.
Amazon.com
www.amazon.com
December 11, 2025 at 6:09 PM
www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...
If I have ever brought you joy, then you are legally required to buy me shit when I post my wishlist yearly.
If I have ever brought you joy, then you are legally required to buy me shit when I post my wishlist yearly.
My loins are telling me to give your family three sheep.
December 11, 2025 at 3:54 PM
My loins are telling me to give your family three sheep.
Remember when Rockefeller made the south better by getting us to stop walking in shit?
December 11, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Remember when Rockefeller made the south better by getting us to stop walking in shit?
I'm easily in the top hundred-million funniest people on earth.
December 10, 2025 at 3:34 PM
I'm easily in the top hundred-million funniest people on earth.
