Topher Lane
@topherlane.bsky.social
Snark is my love language. Educator, filmmaker, and writer. Fierce ally to women, LGBTQIA+, and animals! Colorado dude.
Driving to school this morning and I was ASSAULTED!
First of all, how DARE you, Apple Music?! Old Music Alert? This song only came out like 20 years ago!
Second, I’m proud to say I still know ALL the words to this banger.
Now back to loudly over singing this classic.
First of all, how DARE you, Apple Music?! Old Music Alert? This song only came out like 20 years ago!
Second, I’m proud to say I still know ALL the words to this banger.
Now back to loudly over singing this classic.
January 7, 2026 at 2:48 PM
Driving to school this morning and I was ASSAULTED!
First of all, how DARE you, Apple Music?! Old Music Alert? This song only came out like 20 years ago!
Second, I’m proud to say I still know ALL the words to this banger.
Now back to loudly over singing this classic.
First of all, how DARE you, Apple Music?! Old Music Alert? This song only came out like 20 years ago!
Second, I’m proud to say I still know ALL the words to this banger.
Now back to loudly over singing this classic.
This morning’s amazing ear worm song was “Basket Case” by Green Day, but as a country/western cover. Makes me want to start a cover band called Green Hay.
a man in a red shirt and tie is standing on stage
ALT: a man in a red shirt and tie is standing on stage
media.tenor.com
January 2, 2026 at 3:48 PM
This morning’s amazing ear worm song was “Basket Case” by Green Day, but as a country/western cover. Makes me want to start a cover band called Green Hay.
This morning’s random song that is swirling around in my head is the jingle for Smurfberry Crunch Cereal.
If you remember this one, you definitely have a favorite GLP-1.
If you remember this one, you definitely have a favorite GLP-1.
a blue smurf with a red hat and beard
Alt: Papa Smurf, a blue smurf with a red hat and beard, shrugging
media.tenor.com
December 30, 2025 at 2:55 PM
This morning’s random song that is swirling around in my head is the jingle for Smurfberry Crunch Cereal.
If you remember this one, you definitely have a favorite GLP-1.
If you remember this one, you definitely have a favorite GLP-1.
Damn. Watching one of the best Christmas movies of all time, Trading Places, and Louis yells, “I have over $150,000 in that bank!” and I realized that that was “fuck you” money 40 years ago! 🤯
two men are talking in front of a crowd and one has a tag on his pocket that says tal
ALT: two men are talking in front of a crowd and one has a tag on his pocket that says tal
media.tenor.com
December 13, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Damn. Watching one of the best Christmas movies of all time, Trading Places, and Louis yells, “I have over $150,000 in that bank!” and I realized that that was “fuck you” money 40 years ago! 🤯
Anyone else shocked that 🍊💩ler hasn’t proposed changing the wording of the Pledge of Allegiance to “I pledge allegiance to the President…”?
a man in a suit and tie is holding an american flag in his hands
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is holding an american flag in his hands
media.tenor.com
December 9, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Anyone else shocked that 🍊💩ler hasn’t proposed changing the wording of the Pledge of Allegiance to “I pledge allegiance to the President…”?
Just finished watching episode 3 of Stranger Things and I have to admit, I had completely forgotten what a straight BANGER Tiffany’s cover of “I Think We’re Alone Now” is!
a woman with long red hair is singing into a microphone on a stage .
ALT: a woman with long red hair is singing into a microphone on a stage .
media.tenor.com
December 6, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Just finished watching episode 3 of Stranger Things and I have to admit, I had completely forgotten what a straight BANGER Tiffany’s cover of “I Think We’re Alone Now” is!
Your friendly reminder of what to expect from the vote to reopen the government…
Democrats have got to stop believing the scorpions.
Democrats have got to stop believing the scorpions.
November 10, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Your friendly reminder of what to expect from the vote to reopen the government…
Democrats have got to stop believing the scorpions.
Democrats have got to stop believing the scorpions.
Hey, all y’all need to remember this feeling and retain this energy for the midterms next year!
Great job!
Great job!
a man applauds in front of a sign that says " so proud of you "
ALT: a man applauds in front of a sign that says " so proud of you "
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Hey, all y’all need to remember this feeling and retain this energy for the midterms next year!
Great job!
Great job!
Did they try turning the rapture off and back on again?
September 29, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Did they try turning the rapture off and back on again?
When a heroin junkie and adderall addicted clown slander your bestselling medication, that has been proven safe for about 50 years, and you don’t file an immediate lawsuit challenging those statement? Maybe we should all stop taking Tylenol and anything else made by Kenvue Inc.
kermit the frog and miss piggy are kissing each other in a muppet show .
ALT: kermit the frog and miss piggy are kissing each other in a muppet show .
media.tenor.com
September 24, 2025 at 2:22 AM
When a heroin junkie and adderall addicted clown slander your bestselling medication, that has been proven safe for about 50 years, and you don’t file an immediate lawsuit challenging those statement? Maybe we should all stop taking Tylenol and anything else made by Kenvue Inc.
Thinking of starting an OnlyFans for the deli community called OnlyHams
September 10, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Thinking of starting an OnlyFans for the deli community called OnlyHams
I just pulled the dog hair out of the stick vac and it reminds me of something…
Can’t quite put a tiny finger on it…
Can’t quite put a tiny finger on it…
September 10, 2025 at 1:05 AM
I just pulled the dog hair out of the stick vac and it reminds me of something…
Can’t quite put a tiny finger on it…
Can’t quite put a tiny finger on it…
When the announcement is made, I’m going to…
a cartoon drawing of prince holding a guitar and giving a peace sign .
ALT: a cartoon drawing of prince holding a guitar and giving a peace sign .
media.tenor.com
September 1, 2025 at 1:50 AM
When the announcement is made, I’m going to…
Real question…
When will we finally have a coed professional sports league?
I would freaking love to watch coed soccer or basketball or hockey or volleyball.
I know mixed doubles exists, but I want a full on, league based sport that is coed!
When will we finally have a coed professional sports league?
I would freaking love to watch coed soccer or basketball or hockey or volleyball.
I know mixed doubles exists, but I want a full on, league based sport that is coed!
August 30, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Real question…
When will we finally have a coed professional sports league?
I would freaking love to watch coed soccer or basketball or hockey or volleyball.
I know mixed doubles exists, but I want a full on, league based sport that is coed!
When will we finally have a coed professional sports league?
I would freaking love to watch coed soccer or basketball or hockey or volleyball.
I know mixed doubles exists, but I want a full on, league based sport that is coed!
Man, I’m watching the CONCACAF Gold Cup Final between the US and Mexico, and most of the crowd is behind Mexico. Wouldn’t it be nice if the #USMNT could play as the home team at games on US soil for once?
Do better and engage your fans and you might experience that one day!
The #USWNT always do!
Do better and engage your fans and you might experience that one day!
The #USWNT always do!
a cartoon of a man with a mustache and the word pathetic written below him
ALT: a cartoon of a man with a mustache and the word pathetic written below him
media.tenor.com
July 6, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Holy hell! The #USMNT are once again putting on an absolute travesty of a performance, this time against Switzerland. 4-0 after 35 minutes is garbage. We have got to get it sorted. No way is this team # 16 in the world.
June 11, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Holy hell! The #USMNT are once again putting on an absolute travesty of a performance, this time against Switzerland. 4-0 after 35 minutes is garbage. We have got to get it sorted. No way is this team # 16 in the world.
Wow. After all of Ronaldo’s bitching about this Ballon d’Or the week, he isn’t even the number one choice for boos in the #UEFALeagueFinals Cucurella is the clear fan favorite there 🤣
a soccer player with the number 30 on his jersey
ALT: a soccer player with the number 30 on his jersey
media.tenor.com
June 8, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Wow. After all of Ronaldo’s bitching about this Ballon d’Or the week, he isn’t even the number one choice for boos in the #UEFALeagueFinals Cucurella is the clear fan favorite there 🤣
Another absolutely middling performance by the #USMNT against Turkey. 2-1 loss after scoring a ripping goal 60 seconds in. This is the most underperforming team of all time!
a man in a suit and tie says that he 's not good
ALT: a man in a suit and tie says that he 's not good
media.tenor.com
June 7, 2025 at 9:39 PM
Another absolutely middling performance by the #USMNT against Turkey. 2-1 loss after scoring a ripping goal 60 seconds in. This is the most underperforming team of all time!
Y’all, this entirely predictable mess between Orange Shitler and Elonia Muskrat is the absolute lifeblood that I needed today!
a man in a suit and tie is sitting at a desk and saying `` i love it '' .
ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting at a desk and saying `` i love it '' .
media.tenor.com
June 5, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Y’all, this entirely predictable mess between Orange Shitler and Elonia Muskrat is the absolute lifeblood that I needed today!
Temwa Chawingwa’s running around
Scoring more goals, all over town!
You can’t even hope to contain her,
In goes another, and it was a banger!
(To the tune of “It’s Always Sunny in Wrexham”)
#KCCurrent
Scoring more goals, all over town!
You can’t even hope to contain her,
In goes another, and it was a banger!
(To the tune of “It’s Always Sunny in Wrexham”)
#KCCurrent
May 17, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Temwa Chawingwa’s running around
Scoring more goals, all over town!
You can’t even hope to contain her,
In goes another, and it was a banger!
(To the tune of “It’s Always Sunny in Wrexham”)
#KCCurrent
Scoring more goals, all over town!
You can’t even hope to contain her,
In goes another, and it was a banger!
(To the tune of “It’s Always Sunny in Wrexham”)
#KCCurrent
While they are stealing other pro sports teams mascots, how about they change the name of the Utah Jazz to the Utah Yankees.
#ColoradoMammoth
kslsports.com/nhl/utah-mam...
#ColoradoMammoth
kslsports.com/nhl/utah-mam...
NHL Worlds Reacts To Utah Mammoth Name Announcement
Other NHL teams, experts, and fans all hopped on socail media to react to the Utah Mammoth becoming the franchise's perminant name.
kslsports.com
May 10, 2025 at 5:21 PM
While they are stealing other pro sports teams mascots, how about they change the name of the Utah Jazz to the Utah Yankees.
#ColoradoMammoth
kslsports.com/nhl/utah-mam...
#ColoradoMammoth
kslsports.com/nhl/utah-mam...
If one man can stop an entire line of Chinese tanks, imagine what 15 million plus American veterans could do to stop Orange Shitler’s birthday parade?
May 9, 2025 at 1:09 PM
If one man can stop an entire line of Chinese tanks, imagine what 15 million plus American veterans could do to stop Orange Shitler’s birthday parade?
Is it just me, or does everyone feel…popeless
May 8, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Is it just me, or does everyone feel…popeless
I’ve always wondered if this is what inspired Cthulhu.
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
May 4, 2025 at 5:25 PM
I’ve always wondered if this is what inspired Cthulhu.
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye