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Town Guard

@townguard.bsky.social

590 followers 81 following 930 posts

I guard the town. Yes, yes, I know. You're the chosen hero of the ancient prophecy, but thou art going to be searched like any other wayfarer.

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Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 20h

I remember the first words the Missus said to me:

"Greetings, fair guard."

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 20h

On the watch, we always train new musters with the crossbow first. If they stay on more than a year, we begin training with a proper bow.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 1d

All the time. Too many of the youth art quick to sell their soul to a patron for a few measly blasts of arcane energy.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 1d

I find myself not unlike a gambler. The key be not checking every bag, but learning to read the way a traveler carries their eyes.

Slight annoyance or apprehension be a green flag. Too relax or too unwilling to make eye-contact art red flags.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 1d

Ah! Nay. I've not had of it. Though I must try it on my next travel.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 1d

The sign of the shop itself. Some adventurers devised an elaborate plan to lure a merchant from another town to their trap.

They didn't even need to steal the sign, they could hath just asked!

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 1d

Waffles, then pancake. I am unfamiliar with 'french' toast, be it some regional dish?

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 1d

Nightshift tonight, ask of me anything

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 1d

Probably why disease runs rampant with some groups of adventurers.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 1d

Be not discouraged, goode jester. The battle thou fights is valiant. It be a campaign won not in a single stroke, but in consistent defiance.

Such missteps will happen. The only matter be that thou continues the walk after the stumble.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 2d

A roof and a door?? What luxury!

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 2d

Zonds! Two windows? I may not be able to afford such a luxury.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 2d

I was under the impression that's how new jesters came to be.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 2d

Apologies for mine grumpiness , Selûne was in retrograde.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 2d

I know looting be a thing that adventurers love, but I've met many who strip the very clothes off the dead to wear themselves.

That feels icky.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 3d

If I lost me head, the missus would never let me hear the end of it

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 3d

It seems like adventurers don't like to wear helmets.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 4d

I've always fancied the bill: goode, solid, and versatile. Though, the same praises can be said of the halberd, I be just more used to the common bill than it.

Though I admire the lucerne hammer a bit as well. Bit more of an armor-cracker, it is.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 4d

I think the primary attribute of a good polearm be how comfortable it is to lean against.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 5d

Aye, that's not half a bad idea. Maybe having a local population will keep the raiding bands out.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 5d

How did he even get such a name??? Be his trade tonguing worms?

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 5d

Goode sentiment, but I must advise they mostly be made of stone. Not sure if thy fire can melt such stone.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 5d

We really ought to do something about those abandoned ruins outside of town.

There be always a cult there, a monster, or bandits. And as soon as some adventurers clear them away, something else moves in.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 6d

I've never once met a person who was "worthless" or "unimportant".

Every stream and spring, no matter how small, feeds and directs the river.

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 7d

I am told that this be called "ASMR".

Town Guard @townguard.bsky.social · 7d

There be a new advisor upon the king's council. He just leans in and quietly whispers in the king's ear while shiftly looking around before the king speaks. Be this some manner of rake?