TrackZero
@track-zero.bsky.social
Hey there! We just need you to prove you're human.
🔲 I am not a robot.
'
I kinda want to make some "now with zero sugar!" stickers and stick them on boxes of kosher salt.
May 20, 2025 at 6:27 PM
I kinda want to make some "now with zero sugar!" stickers and stick them on boxes of kosher salt.
Marketing: "can you help us amplify this?"
Me: "I'm here against my will."
Me: "I'm here against my will."
May 20, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Marketing: "can you help us amplify this?"
Me: "I'm here against my will."
Me: "I'm here against my will."
Maybe if it's blended with chocolate like a Nutella type product?
May 20, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Maybe if it's blended with chocolate like a Nutella type product?
I'd have been caught after staying behind to spray, "*too. dumbass"
May 20, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I'd have been caught after staying behind to spray, "*too. dumbass"
When my kid was 2 he wanted a waffle and demanded it straight out of the box, still frozen.
He took one bite of that frozen waffle and knew he'd screwed up. But he doubled down and ate the whole waffle, just staring us down.
We were the ones with the learning experience that day.
He took one bite of that frozen waffle and knew he'd screwed up. But he doubled down and ate the whole waffle, just staring us down.
We were the ones with the learning experience that day.
May 20, 2025 at 1:27 AM
When my kid was 2 he wanted a waffle and demanded it straight out of the box, still frozen.
He took one bite of that frozen waffle and knew he'd screwed up. But he doubled down and ate the whole waffle, just staring us down.
We were the ones with the learning experience that day.
He took one bite of that frozen waffle and knew he'd screwed up. But he doubled down and ate the whole waffle, just staring us down.
We were the ones with the learning experience that day.
Elephant in the room.
May 20, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Elephant in the room.
I saw plant-based peanut butter advertised a few weeks ago and like...what...what do we think it was it before?
May 20, 2025 at 12:56 AM
I saw plant-based peanut butter advertised a few weeks ago and like...what...what do we think it was it before?
Previous employer, supervisor dings me for being condescending to our VP. I asked what I said, & when, specifically. "Well, it wasn't something you said, but I could tell by the look on your face you were having condescending thoughts." Waved my hand towards my face, "oh, something like this?"
January 16, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Previous employer, supervisor dings me for being condescending to our VP. I asked what I said, & when, specifically. "Well, it wasn't something you said, but I could tell by the look on your face you were having condescending thoughts." Waved my hand towards my face, "oh, something like this?"
My brain: "Huh, I don't think there was a Jerk or Jerky Smurf...I wonder if they mean Snappy?"
My inner monologue: "ARE YOU SMURFING KIDDING ME? WE CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF SOMEONE 10 SECONDS AFTER MEETING THEM BUT WE REMEMBER SMURFS FROM 40 YEARS AGO?!!?"
My inner monologue: "ARE YOU SMURFING KIDDING ME? WE CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF SOMEONE 10 SECONDS AFTER MEETING THEM BUT WE REMEMBER SMURFS FROM 40 YEARS AGO?!!?"
January 16, 2025 at 5:06 PM
My brain: "Huh, I don't think there was a Jerk or Jerky Smurf...I wonder if they mean Snappy?"
My inner monologue: "ARE YOU SMURFING KIDDING ME? WE CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF SOMEONE 10 SECONDS AFTER MEETING THEM BUT WE REMEMBER SMURFS FROM 40 YEARS AGO?!!?"
My inner monologue: "ARE YOU SMURFING KIDDING ME? WE CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF SOMEONE 10 SECONDS AFTER MEETING THEM BUT WE REMEMBER SMURFS FROM 40 YEARS AGO?!!?"
it was all part of the process.
December 16, 2024 at 9:30 PM
it was all part of the process.
that response is like when you're on a team call and a senior leader asks a question and then says someone's name, and that person is frantically trying to replay what was said just seconds ago so they can answer.
December 15, 2024 at 4:18 AM
that response is like when you're on a team call and a senior leader asks a question and then says someone's name, and that person is frantically trying to replay what was said just seconds ago so they can answer.
I am both repulsed and kinda wanting one for my crocs.
December 15, 2024 at 4:14 AM
I am both repulsed and kinda wanting one for my crocs.
Ah, yes. Thank you for reconsidering.
December 12, 2024 at 10:20 PM
Ah, yes. Thank you for reconsidering.
Are.....are those what you get after brining sea cucumbers?
December 12, 2024 at 10:10 PM
Are.....are those what you get after brining sea cucumbers?
Look, I usually agree with you, but after careful consideration, I believe this one needs a little more AAAAAAAAAAHHH in there.
December 12, 2024 at 10:10 PM
Look, I usually agree with you, but after careful consideration, I believe this one needs a little more AAAAAAAAAAHHH in there.
Oh! Good! It happened to other people! When I first stepped onto that floor my initial concern was that I was having a stroke. I took the back hallway most of the rest of the time.
December 9, 2024 at 6:39 PM
Oh! Good! It happened to other people! When I first stepped onto that floor my initial concern was that I was having a stroke. I took the back hallway most of the rest of the time.
I had to take off my glasses. That wasn't sufficient, then I had to close my eyes. Now I go up to the next floor, and avoid them all together.
Such a cool immersive experience 🤢
Such a cool immersive experience 🤢
December 4, 2024 at 7:57 AM
I had to take off my glasses. That wasn't sufficient, then I had to close my eyes. Now I go up to the next floor, and avoid them all together.
Such a cool immersive experience 🤢
Such a cool immersive experience 🤢
Every time I see someone go down that slide, I think of that young lady at twitchcon who jumped into the foam pit and shattered her spine. I hope she's okay.
December 4, 2024 at 7:54 AM
Every time I see someone go down that slide, I think of that young lady at twitchcon who jumped into the foam pit and shattered her spine. I hope she's okay.
I, uh. I don't even get undressed with unprofessional colleagues. That's why I won't take a job at Microsoft.
December 4, 2024 at 7:45 AM
I, uh. I don't even get undressed with unprofessional colleagues. That's why I won't take a job at Microsoft.