When your in the newsagent to buy yourself a magazine as a little treat and you try really hard to have interests outside of doom but Long Stitch Today just aint going to cut it Sarah so you buy the Doom Now once again

“But chickens don’t have hands”
Chickens: “that’s not nice”

My milk shake (oat) brings all the boys to the yard (ants)

I just learnt that you can SHEILD YOUR EYES while walking through the rain so as to prevent your face from doing reformer pilates at 25x speed

That feeling when you crack your joints and passers by shriek “WHERE IS SHE?”