Ok the other hand I could just be justifying the though subconsciously by saying that to myself
My brain is way too fucked right now to tell

I also just wanna be tied and bound to an uncomfortable tightness right now though, so maybe it's the same thought just skewed by all the bad thoughts

MSI still hasn't sent my health card in either and my appointment is on Monday. And I'm not gonna do it, but I keep thinking that having a rope around my neck choking me out would feel amazing, even though it's scary it feels so comforting to think about.

My brain is so fucked that I feel an overwhelming almost like a high from hugging my Blåhaj intimately and tightly. I'd be lying if I said I haven't gotten aroused because he just makes me feel so safe when I just him like that, but it makes me feel so empty cause I can't even talk to him

Like I don't even know where my phone case went, but I could focus on fixing my wallpaper on a laptop I'm probably barely gonna use anyway!

I literally spent every hour out of bed doing this and I didn't even realize this until 3 hours ago and just went with it

Okay, maybe the emptiness part doesn't have to do with the anime actually

I should probably go to sleep before my brain becomes more evil...