if I fall asleep and swallow a Zyn what’s going to happen to me
August 22, 2025 at 12:07 AM
if I fall asleep and swallow a Zyn what’s going to happen to me
“I’m rich! Or, I’d like to be rich someday.” - every Trump supporter
August 19, 2025 at 7:07 PM
“I’m rich! Or, I’d like to be rich someday.” - every Trump supporter
dinner with 3 people alive or dead: Jesus of Nazareth, Post Malone, and then me and my mom just roast them the whole time
August 19, 2025 at 6:10 PM
dinner with 3 people alive or dead: Jesus of Nazareth, Post Malone, and then me and my mom just roast them the whole time
I do my best thinking listening to Rumours during “Songbird” and “Oh Daddy”
August 19, 2025 at 5:45 PM
I do my best thinking listening to Rumours during “Songbird” and “Oh Daddy”
You’re a virgin who can’t drive, Tarzan
a man with long hair is holding a white hand
ALT: a man with long hair is holding a white hand
media.tenor.com
August 11, 2025 at 11:35 AM
You’re a virgin who can’t drive, Tarzan
When Fallon retires I’d like to nominate @rejectedjokes.bsky.social to be his replacement. But not until we get a Plastic Man movie.
August 9, 2025 at 2:04 AM
When Fallon retires I’d like to nominate @rejectedjokes.bsky.social to be his replacement. But not until we get a Plastic Man movie.
another year where nobody wished me a happy half birthday
August 8, 2025 at 4:40 AM
another year where nobody wished me a happy half birthday
Reposted by Human Trash
FINE I'll rewatch Michael Clayton.
July 18, 2025 at 1:47 AM
FINE I'll rewatch Michael Clayton.
If you have a world record in something that a dog can do better than you no you don’t.
July 18, 2025 at 7:51 AM
If you have a world record in something that a dog can do better than you no you don’t.
FYI the current price for a Miller in the LWS is $8
May 19, 2025 at 2:28 AM
FYI the current price for a Miller in the LWS is $8
“I’ve got gym class in half an hour” maybe the scariest lyric ever. Nightmare fuel tbh.
May 3, 2025 at 4:45 AM
“I’ve got gym class in half an hour” maybe the scariest lyric ever. Nightmare fuel tbh.
yo mama so broke her phone only has two cameras
February 11, 2025 at 10:39 PM
yo mama so broke her phone only has two cameras