TUBE JERK
@tubejerk.bsky.social
I'm a demon that haunts the London tube network possessing people to make them do stupid thoughtless things and generally make life much harder than it has to be for everyone else. Mwahahahahahaha! 😈
I briefly left my domain yesterday to spy on this wonderful play: @cockfostersplay.bsky.social.
I'm not mentioned specifically but some of my handiwork certainly is. Mwahahahaha 😈
#LondonTube
#Theatre
🚇
I'm not mentioned specifically but some of my handiwork certainly is. Mwahahahaha 😈
#LondonTube
#Theatre
🚇
🕰️ Throwback to this wonderful review from @mind_the_blog
📆 COCKFOSTERS | 4 Dec - 3 Jan | @swkplay Southwark Playhouse Borough
🎟️ Tickets at southwarkplayhouse.co.uk/productions/cockfosters
📆 COCKFOSTERS | 4 Dec - 3 Jan | @swkplay Southwark Playhouse Borough
🎟️ Tickets at southwarkplayhouse.co.uk/productions/cockfosters
December 6, 2025 at 5:35 PM
I briefly left my domain yesterday to spy on this wonderful play: @cockfostersplay.bsky.social.
I'm not mentioned specifically but some of my handiwork certainly is. Mwahahahaha 😈
#LondonTube
#Theatre
🚇
I'm not mentioned specifically but some of my handiwork certainly is. Mwahahahaha 😈
#LondonTube
#Theatre
🚇
This morning at #SouthKensington a teacher with grey hair and a northern accent very kindly made his class of children wait to one side of the stairs until the main group commuters had charged up. There was nothing I could do... 👿
October 1, 2025 at 6:55 PM
This morning at #SouthKensington a teacher with grey hair and a northern accent very kindly made his class of children wait to one side of the stairs until the main group commuters had charged up. There was nothing I could do... 👿
This morning at #LambethNorth I compelled a man wearing sunglasses and a black puffy jacket to stop and check his phone in front of the only available ticket gate despite the people behind him wanting to get past. 😈
September 30, 2025 at 8:50 AM
This morning at #LambethNorth I compelled a man wearing sunglasses and a black puffy jacket to stop and check his phone in front of the only available ticket gate despite the people behind him wanting to get past. 😈
This morning I compelled two ladies at South Kensington to stop and adjust their suitcases straight after they reached the top of the stairs despite the empty space in front of them and the crowd of people immediately behind them. 😈
September 25, 2025 at 10:55 AM
This morning I compelled two ladies at South Kensington to stop and adjust their suitcases straight after they reached the top of the stairs despite the empty space in front of them and the crowd of people immediately behind them. 😈
A young lady with long wavy auburn hair just helped an elderly lady carry her bags down the stairs just outside Vauxhall and there was nothing I could do about it. 👿
September 25, 2025 at 9:01 AM
A young lady with long wavy auburn hair just helped an elderly lady carry her bags down the stairs just outside Vauxhall and there was nothing I could do about it. 👿
Oh, they walked across your path as if you weren't there? It's almost as if some hidden force distorted their perception.
😈
😈
September 23, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Oh, they walked across your path as if you weren't there? It's almost as if some hidden force distorted their perception.
😈
😈
It sounds like they weren't fully in control of their senses. Mwahahahaha! 😈
People who walk slowly - hey man that's cool, everyone gotta move to the beat of their own drum.
People who walk slowly in rows of 3 or 4, talking up all of the path - mandatory custodial sentences.
People who walk slowly in rows of 3 or 4, talking up all of the path - mandatory custodial sentences.
September 22, 2025 at 10:28 PM
It sounds like they weren't fully in control of their senses. Mwahahahaha! 😈
The possessed commuter:
he stands in the way,
he doesn't know why,
his mind is not his own.
😈
he stands in the way,
he doesn't know why,
his mind is not his own.
😈
September 22, 2025 at 8:47 AM
The possessed commuter:
he stands in the way,
he doesn't know why,
his mind is not his own.
😈
he stands in the way,
he doesn't know why,
his mind is not his own.
😈
A family with huge shiny burgundy coloured suitcases decided to block the entire width of the Northern Line platform at #TottenhamCourtRoad. They don't know why, a strange force just made them feel like doing it. He he he he 😈
September 21, 2025 at 10:55 AM
A family with huge shiny burgundy coloured suitcases decided to block the entire width of the Northern Line platform at #TottenhamCourtRoad. They don't know why, a strange force just made them feel like doing it. He he he he 😈
This morning at Vauxhall, I compelled a blonde in black and blue leggings to choose the left side of the escalator but then stop and check her phone despite all the people behind her. There was even a space to her right too. Hahahaha 😈
September 19, 2025 at 8:57 AM
This morning at Vauxhall, I compelled a blonde in black and blue leggings to choose the left side of the escalator but then stop and check her phone despite all the people behind her. There was even a space to her right too. Hahahaha 😈
I just compelled several people at Victoria to walk as slowly as possible regardless of how much empty space was in front of them and how many people were piling up behind them. 😈
September 16, 2025 at 5:19 PM
I just compelled several people at Victoria to walk as slowly as possible regardless of how much empty space was in front of them and how many people were piling up behind them. 😈
Yes, other commuters could move down the platform... but I won't let them. 😈
September 16, 2025 at 8:47 AM
Yes, other commuters could move down the platform... but I won't let them. 😈
It's great to be back! My puppets compeled to board carriages before others have finished getting off, unnecessary blocking corridors, randomly stopping, standing on the right of escalators, not checking over a shoulder before drifting to one side... Normal service has resumed... Mwahahahaha 😈
elmo from sesame street is standing in front of a fire
Alt: Elmo from Sesame Street is standing in front of a fire and channeling chaos!
media.tenor.com
September 13, 2025 at 9:50 AM
It's great to be back! My puppets compeled to board carriages before others have finished getting off, unnecessary blocking corridors, randomly stopping, standing on the right of escalators, not checking over a shoulder before drifting to one side... Normal service has resumed... Mwahahahaha 😈
Just one more evening to wait out... 👿
#TubeStrike
#TubeStrike
a black cat is holding a nail file in its paws while sitting in front of a brick wall .
Alt: A black cat looking bored whilst using a nail file in front of a brick wall .
media.tenor.com
September 11, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Just one more evening to wait out... 👿
#TubeStrike
#TubeStrike
Will this strike never end!? 👿
a cartoon character is screaming in front of candles and a netflix logo
Alt: a red cartoon cat screaming in front of candles
media.tenor.com
September 11, 2025 at 7:50 AM
Will this strike never end!? 👿
Another sad morning of no fun. 👿
a dog sitting on a beach looking out over the ocean
ALT: a dog sitting on a beach looking out over the ocean
media.tenor.com
September 9, 2025 at 8:04 AM
Another sad morning of no fun. 👿
Sad day... 👿
a man with a mustache sits on a yellow swing
ALT: a man with a mustache sits on a yellow swing
media.tenor.com
September 8, 2025 at 8:28 AM
Sad day... 👿
This morning at South Kensington, I subjugated a family of three to stand right in front of a ticket gate with their bags while they searched for their tickets. There was plenty of room to the side but had they stopped there it wouldn't have created a delay for dozens of other people. 😈
September 2, 2025 at 10:01 AM
This morning at South Kensington, I subjugated a family of three to stand right in front of a ticket gate with their bags while they searched for their tickets. There was plenty of room to the side but had they stopped there it wouldn't have created a delay for dozens of other people. 😈
Just compelled a lady, who is wearing chequered trousers and a black jacket a size too large for her, to get on a carriage at Vauxhall and then immediately stop despite the people behind her also wanting to get on. Her cream wheelie bag also blocked people's path. 😈
September 1, 2025 at 8:40 AM
Just compelled a lady, who is wearing chequered trousers and a black jacket a size too large for her, to get on a carriage at Vauxhall and then immediately stop despite the people behind her also wanting to get on. Her cream wheelie bag also blocked people's path. 😈
On a packed stairwell at South Kensington I just compelled a group of five people nearing the bottom to suddenly turn around to cause utter chaos. They could have instead continued a few more steps down and gone back up the empty side but their minds were not their own. 😈
August 20, 2025 at 5:20 PM
On a packed stairwell at South Kensington I just compelled a group of five people nearing the bottom to suddenly turn around to cause utter chaos. They could have instead continued a few more steps down and gone back up the empty side but their minds were not their own. 😈
At Victoria today, I was unable to prevent a lady (long pink dress) from politely stepping out the way on the Circle-District line platform 👿 ... but I was able to cause a jam by compelling another lady (grey hoodie & green shorts) to slow down & walk incredibly slowly at a bottleneck. 😈
August 19, 2025 at 6:09 PM
At Victoria today, I was unable to prevent a lady (long pink dress) from politely stepping out the way on the Circle-District line platform 👿 ... but I was able to cause a jam by compelling another lady (grey hoodie & green shorts) to slow down & walk incredibly slowly at a bottleneck. 😈
The tall guy with the green baseball cap on the circle line could've taken his backpack off or at least stood so it wasn't facing the crowded end of the carriage. Instead, something (i.e. me) compelled him to do neither. 😈
August 15, 2025 at 5:24 PM
The tall guy with the green baseball cap on the circle line could've taken his backpack off or at least stood so it wasn't facing the crowded end of the carriage. Instead, something (i.e. me) compelled him to do neither. 😈
Fun fact: when not possessed by me, tourists with wheeled suitcases do actually check their blind spot before turning. 😈
August 13, 2025 at 7:21 AM
Fun fact: when not possessed by me, tourists with wheeled suitcases do actually check their blind spot before turning. 😈