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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 17m

He and his Republican ilk are adherents of Supply Side Jesus, so anything that doesn't support Nationalist Christian dogma is conveniently ignored (even if temporarily)

Don't worry, he'll suddenly remember it when someone says "Happy Holidays" to him and he becomes enraged at the "War on Christmas"

The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus

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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 33m

There is, invariably, one particular meal has been eaten by the most people before they died (whether they expected to or not)

We'll never know what it is but given population distribution, globally, it seems extremely likely that rice was at least a major component.

Something to think about...

a man is standing in front of a wall with the words rice rice baby written on it

Alt: Vanilla Ice loves rice. Shouldn't you?

media.tenor.com

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 1h

To be fair DC houses a number of rather ridiculously named characters.

Gentleman Ghost, anyone?

Ambush Bug? Matter-Eater Lad?

Egghead? (who, IIRC, exists solely to make egg-based puns)

"Enjoy this most egg-squisite egg-stortion!" -Egghead, probably

As a bonus he was played by Vincent Price!

a man in a tuxedo with a mustache is standing in a room with candles on the wall .

Alt: I think Vincent Price would also have made a wonderful Gentleman Ghost. Don't you think so?! Yeeeeeeessss!

media.tenor.com

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 2h

My local grocery store has Life cereal labeled as "Life Cold Breakfast Cereal" which I find to be strange.

Bitch, you can't control me! I do what I want!

Stop limiting my lunches and dinners!

If I want to microwave my Cinnamon Life into oblivion it's my right as an American!

For now, anyway.

a cartoon character from south park is holding a lollipop and says " wuteva "

Alt: WUTEVA! WUTEVA! I do what I want!

media.tenor.com

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 4h

"HYPERBOLE!" -Trumpists

The estimated damage was ~1.25 trillion *by mid-2018* -- market damages were estimated over 5 trillion before COVID really drove Trump's failure of an economic policy home.

This was well known at the time but COVID gave IQ47 a pass (GOP scapegoat, only cost a million lives)

Trump has cost the stock market an estimated $1 trillion in value with tough trade talk

President Donald Trump's tough trade tactics have caused the destruction of more than $1 trillion in market value, according to J.P. Morgan.

www.cnbc.com

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 4h

If only we had some way of knowing this was coming other than the trillions of dollars in economic damage Trump wrought in his 1st term (even before COVID)

(and those tariffs were nothing by comparison)

We may never know how bad it is as IQ47's goons are cooking the books as we speak.

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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 7h

Dearest Billie Jo,

I dun write this fromed the front lines at Voodoo Donuts. Food is scarce, they sold out of chocolate dippers and coffee is down to decaf.

We losted Jedward today when the escalator lost power. Too much forehead sweat, couldn't see him.

May Saint Bucees preserve us all.

Jimbo

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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 7h

Classic Cowardly Lyin'

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 8h

Can you imagine how much worse this would all be (gestures broadly) if these clowns possessed even a molecule of competence?!

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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 8h

*just following orders isn't an excuse

@support.bsky.team -- Feature Request for the millionth time, can we get an edit button?

I get that ya'll want to make this as close an analog to Pre-Nazi Twitter as possible, but that's a huge improvement that never got implemented

Add it, Store the history

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 8h

Amazon is a great search engine for finding products and then going to the manufacturer’s website and ordering them so as not to give that slimy fuck, Jeff Bezos, a single cent.

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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 8h

The orders for the Texas national guard to invade Chicago against the will of the people and that state’s governor: ILLEGAL

the line has already been crossed.

US Constitution, sec 3 article 3: treason shall consist only of levying war against the United States

Looks like Treason all the way down.

a man in an orange jumpsuit says there 's a good chance

Alt: Ask the Nazis at Nuremberg how “I was just following orders” went for them.

media.tenor.com

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 8h

Brandishing like this is a crime, for the record.

Not that the rule of law matters anymore but just pointing this out for a future date when jt might.

Every last one of these lil piggies need to face treason charges once a sane government is back.

Levying war on US cities?

USC Sec 3, article 3.

a man in a suit and tie is pointing at the camera with the words that 's a treason in the background

Alt: a man in a suit and tie is pointing at the camera with the words that 's a treason in the background

media.tenor.com

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 8h

Time to dust off some LotR memes:

Twist it. Turn it.

Destroy it!

No.

ISILDUURRRR!

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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

Michael Johnson is a complete tool and a groomer

(he informs his son of his porn preferences and usage, not at all creepy)

For someone so intent on appearing “Christian” he certainly votes like an anti-Christ.

Mikey, lying is a sin, too and intent matters.

Ask Jesus about rich men and camels.

Mike Johnson is begging to huff from the royal diaper.

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

Source: Trust me, brah.

a man standing in front of a boat with tx 1698 jj written on it

Alt: Brah. Why aren’t you totes trusting me, brah?

media.tenor.com

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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

Gotta wonder if ol’ Microtoad is going to schedule another flyover.

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

Here’s a comment I drew, “chocolate and bondage” from 2017:

M&Ms toiling away in the Ghirardelli salted caramel mines. Several have passed away from exhaustion. In the background a Ghirardelli square whips slow miners, yelling “Faster!”

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

Can you imagine how much worse all of this would be if these people were in any way intelligent or competent?

a cartoon of a man in a suit and tie with the words pathetic written on the bottom .

Alt: a cartoon of a man in a suit and tie with the words pathetic written on the bottom .

media.tenor.com

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

I believe the comment that prompted this was “man those onions are serious”

But it fits the brief!

Two vegetable knights fight over the honor of a green onion princess. Ser Garlix vs. Ser Leek.

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

I don’t know why they insist on all this performative outrage.

We all know they are just going to mute the TV and put on a continuous loop of dueling banjos like they do every Super Bowl half time show.

a young boy is sitting on a porch playing a banjo .

Alt: a young boy is sitting on a porch playing a banjo. Just the way these inbred chucklefucks like it.

media.tenor.com

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

Also fwiw very many of us imagined they’d be this cruel and aggressive.

It is only going to get worse the more criminal and ineffective they are shown to be.

Figured I’d respond to the headline since so many of us tried warning the country as it was all right there in Project 2025.

Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

Something something same forces
Something something burn crosses

a black and white photo of a man wearing a hat and holding a gun .

Alt: a black and white photo of a man wearing a hat and holding a gun .

media.tenor.com

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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

Kegbreath’s “no fatties” speech is starting to make sense and that’s scaring me.

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Marc Turnes @turnesfurnace.bsky.social · 9h

“A Trump never pays its debts.”

A common saying, but not the Trump crime family’s words.

“Watch me grift.”

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