🎸 Samuel Floyd 🕹️
@tvgsamuel.bsky.social
Amateur singer/guitarist. DIYer, podcast co-host, video gamer, electronics enginerd, music & tomfoolery fan.
If I step into the shower at 11:59:59 tonight, I'll be lathering my privates as the new year comes in.
January 1, 2026 at 4:05 AM
If I step into the shower at 11:59:59 tonight, I'll be lathering my privates as the new year comes in.
I'm not "aging gracefully", I'm decaying with a modicum of style.
December 28, 2025 at 6:59 AM
I'm not "aging gracefully", I'm decaying with a modicum of style.
Isn't it nice how your body can just one day be like "I no longer suffer lactose gladly."? Especially because I tend to have a selective memory around pizza. But I can't just be like well I no longer suffer suffering gladly and it mean anything.
December 25, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Isn't it nice how your body can just one day be like "I no longer suffer lactose gladly."? Especially because I tend to have a selective memory around pizza. But I can't just be like well I no longer suffer suffering gladly and it mean anything.
As a 90s kid I've been relistening to Missing by Everything but the Girl vs the club remix to see which I love most and I can't decide. It's the fact Tracey Thorn's vocals are so good it could be done almost any way and still be a banger.
December 10, 2025 at 5:01 AM
As a 90s kid I've been relistening to Missing by Everything but the Girl vs the club remix to see which I love most and I can't decide. It's the fact Tracey Thorn's vocals are so good it could be done almost any way and still be a banger.
Early to bed and early to rise, let's go get ourselves burgers and fries.
November 21, 2025 at 6:46 AM
Early to bed and early to rise, let's go get ourselves burgers and fries.
1988: Walk the Dinosaur blasts through your foam Walkman headphones. Chores are done, so you fire up Double Dragon on the NES and watch the title screen flicker on your 16 inch CRT TV. A bag of Doritos sits beside a beanbag chair. Wild Cherry Pepsi cans litter your room. Life didn’t get much better.
November 4, 2025 at 7:40 AM
1988: Walk the Dinosaur blasts through your foam Walkman headphones. Chores are done, so you fire up Double Dragon on the NES and watch the title screen flicker on your 16 inch CRT TV. A bag of Doritos sits beside a beanbag chair. Wild Cherry Pepsi cans litter your room. Life didn’t get much better.
The biggest flavor dust nugget I've ever found.
September 15, 2025 at 9:35 PM
The biggest flavor dust nugget I've ever found.
I love that as humans we can just decide we're done being conscious, so we close our eyes and time travel a few hours into the future.
August 11, 2025 at 5:25 AM
I love that as humans we can just decide we're done being conscious, so we close our eyes and time travel a few hours into the future.
I'm confused as to why I can't find a partner. The data I've collected from dating apps suggests a large percent of women seek a man with a beard, tattoos, and a Dad bod; all of which I have. My eyes are often complimented too. Is having a Dad bod but not actually being a Dad seen as stolen valor?
August 5, 2025 at 4:41 AM
I'm confused as to why I can't find a partner. The data I've collected from dating apps suggests a large percent of women seek a man with a beard, tattoos, and a Dad bod; all of which I have. My eyes are often complimented too. Is having a Dad bod but not actually being a Dad seen as stolen valor?
Is wisdom tooth an ironic name? Like calling a fat person slim? Because when you're coded to pop out of the gums that are right in front of you but instead you grow into the tooth next to you, that's a special kind of stupid.
August 1, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Is wisdom tooth an ironic name? Like calling a fat person slim? Because when you're coded to pop out of the gums that are right in front of you but instead you grow into the tooth next to you, that's a special kind of stupid.
In the courtroom that day the judge looked at the defendant and said: "You've been accused of stealing pants and lying about it. What do you have to say for yourself?". The defendant stood up and proclaimed: "Your honor, I was just trying to cover my ass.".
July 29, 2025 at 11:56 PM
In the courtroom that day the judge looked at the defendant and said: "You've been accused of stealing pants and lying about it. What do you have to say for yourself?". The defendant stood up and proclaimed: "Your honor, I was just trying to cover my ass.".
If you ask a guy friend to see his man cave, you'll be led to his favorite room in the house. If you ask a female friend to see her lady cave, you may also be led to her favorite place in the house. Or you'll be slapped across the face and put on a list. Most English words have more than one meaning
July 24, 2025 at 8:56 PM
If you ask a guy friend to see his man cave, you'll be led to his favorite room in the house. If you ask a female friend to see her lady cave, you may also be led to her favorite place in the house. Or you'll be slapped across the face and put on a list. Most English words have more than one meaning
I too am guilty of not checking Trivago. I don't go anywhere to need their service, but the fact remains factual.
July 24, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I too am guilty of not checking Trivago. I don't go anywhere to need their service, but the fact remains factual.
On my 18th birthday, just as I woke up, I played Road to Nowhere as my own right of passage. As the years have gone by that song has become more and more important to me.
July 22, 2025 at 8:50 PM
On my 18th birthday, just as I woke up, I played Road to Nowhere as my own right of passage. As the years have gone by that song has become more and more important to me.
Crazy ... But that's how it goes. 🧡🖤 Rest easy.
July 22, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Crazy ... But that's how it goes. 🧡🖤 Rest easy.
Ladies, if you're dating a redneck and he tells you "Your face is perdier than a pile of catalytic converters" he may be the one.
July 16, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Ladies, if you're dating a redneck and he tells you "Your face is perdier than a pile of catalytic converters" he may be the one.
Girl are you confusing me with Shane Madej or Ryan Bergara? Because if you ghost me, I am NOT looking for you.
July 11, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Girl are you confusing me with Shane Madej or Ryan Bergara? Because if you ghost me, I am NOT looking for you.
My very indifferent friend told me he was dealing with a bout of constipation. I asked him how he felt being constipated. He said he couldn't give a shit.
July 8, 2025 at 5:17 AM
My very indifferent friend told me he was dealing with a bout of constipation. I asked him how he felt being constipated. He said he couldn't give a shit.
How do I acquire this tropical depression everyone is talking about? Because the normal variety of depression is getting old. I'm assuming the tropical kind comes with piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. That sounds lovely.
July 4, 2025 at 8:38 PM
How do I acquire this tropical depression everyone is talking about? Because the normal variety of depression is getting old. I'm assuming the tropical kind comes with piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. That sounds lovely.
"If thee fornicate frivolously, thou shalt come to stark comprehension." King Henry or someone idk
June 27, 2025 at 7:33 PM
"If thee fornicate frivolously, thou shalt come to stark comprehension." King Henry or someone idk
As someone with very sensitive sinuses it's difficult to accept we are all essentially being bukkaked by mother nature and there isn't a damn thing we can do about it.
June 9, 2025 at 6:52 PM
As someone with very sensitive sinuses it's difficult to accept we are all essentially being bukkaked by mother nature and there isn't a damn thing we can do about it.
A lot of people tell me I have a good heart, but none of them are doctors so I can't take their diagnosis seriously.
June 1, 2025 at 3:54 AM
A lot of people tell me I have a good heart, but none of them are doctors so I can't take their diagnosis seriously.
I've put the Bank of Trouble and Sorrow out of business by borrowing too much and not making my payments.
May 30, 2025 at 9:47 PM
I've put the Bank of Trouble and Sorrow out of business by borrowing too much and not making my payments.
Hey, failed dating matches aren't the end of the world. If nothing else it has taught me that my princess is in another castle.
May 25, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Hey, failed dating matches aren't the end of the world. If nothing else it has taught me that my princess is in another castle.
Nothing can prepare you for someone who promises to help you grow, but only covers you in manure.
May 21, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Nothing can prepare you for someone who promises to help you grow, but only covers you in manure.