Ladies, if we sit just right, we have our own bidet.

I took a shower and I was actually legit dirty today.
#moving #humor #funny #truestory

Somewhere in the ether is a video of me shoving a whole cupcake in my mouth with nary a crumb in sight. So maybe don't call me ma'am.
#babybeingbaby #humor #truestory

Another morning, another opportunity for technology to get one over on me. Sigh.

But can I sell socks on here?
#twerkwagon #feet #socks #worldonfire