TwistedElephant
@twistedelephant.bsky.social
Ilkley.
Picture snapper, cyclist & hiker.
Love the outdoors, beer, F1, coffee.
6 cats. Vegetarian. Atheist.
I am not on Facebook.
Picture snapper, cyclist & hiker.
Love the outdoors, beer, F1, coffee.
6 cats. Vegetarian. Atheist.
I am not on Facebook.
LS is in for a shock if she thinks dinner is being made for her tonight. Not even got out of her dressing gown. Done fuck all in the house to help us.
I predicted this, so I took Abi and myself out for dinner. It was lovely.
12 years old and hasn't even got dressed. What a waste of a day.
FFS.
I predicted this, so I took Abi and myself out for dinner. It was lovely.
12 years old and hasn't even got dressed. What a waste of a day.
FFS.
August 5, 2025 at 6:29 PM
LS is in for a shock if she thinks dinner is being made for her tonight. Not even got out of her dressing gown. Done fuck all in the house to help us.
I predicted this, so I took Abi and myself out for dinner. It was lovely.
12 years old and hasn't even got dressed. What a waste of a day.
FFS.
I predicted this, so I took Abi and myself out for dinner. It was lovely.
12 years old and hasn't even got dressed. What a waste of a day.
FFS.
People screaming and flapping their arms about...
I gave it a tasty treat.
I gave it a tasty treat.
July 30, 2025 at 2:27 PM
People screaming and flapping their arms about...
I gave it a tasty treat.
I gave it a tasty treat.
LS is wearing odd socks. Her mother hasn't noticed. 🤷🏻
July 27, 2025 at 10:02 AM
LS is wearing odd socks. Her mother hasn't noticed. 🤷🏻
LS goes away tomorrow for a week.
She's had all this week to get her things sorted.
She put her clothes in the washing machine before they left the house earlier.
I've not hung it out.
Pissing it down on and off all day.
I'm dropping her in Harrogate at 9am.
Damp.🤣
Cheers🍺
She's had all this week to get her things sorted.
She put her clothes in the washing machine before they left the house earlier.
I've not hung it out.
Pissing it down on and off all day.
I'm dropping her in Harrogate at 9am.
Damp.🤣
Cheers🍺
July 27, 2025 at 10:01 AM
LS goes away tomorrow for a week.
She's had all this week to get her things sorted.
She put her clothes in the washing machine before they left the house earlier.
I've not hung it out.
Pissing it down on and off all day.
I'm dropping her in Harrogate at 9am.
Damp.🤣
Cheers🍺
She's had all this week to get her things sorted.
She put her clothes in the washing machine before they left the house earlier.
I've not hung it out.
Pissing it down on and off all day.
I'm dropping her in Harrogate at 9am.
Damp.🤣
Cheers🍺
LS has friends staying over tomorrow. She's currently in the kitchen, making pizza dough, which I taught her how to do. Aw.
I'm in a beer garden with her mother.
Not even midday.
What a terrible parent 🤣
I'm in a beer garden with her mother.
Not even midday.
What a terrible parent 🤣
July 25, 2025 at 10:25 AM
LS has friends staying over tomorrow. She's currently in the kitchen, making pizza dough, which I taught her how to do. Aw.
I'm in a beer garden with her mother.
Not even midday.
What a terrible parent 🤣
I'm in a beer garden with her mother.
Not even midday.
What a terrible parent 🤣
I don't get these two.
I've had a rotten cold for 4 days. I'm up by 5am and on my feet all day at work from 6am. I cook dinner each night.
Last night, after cooking, I said I was knacked, feeling like shit and going to bed. 10 minutes later, both standing in the bedroom.😠 FFS.
I've had a rotten cold for 4 days. I'm up by 5am and on my feet all day at work from 6am. I cook dinner each night.
Last night, after cooking, I said I was knacked, feeling like shit and going to bed. 10 minutes later, both standing in the bedroom.😠 FFS.
July 24, 2025 at 4:32 AM
I don't get these two.
I've had a rotten cold for 4 days. I'm up by 5am and on my feet all day at work from 6am. I cook dinner each night.
Last night, after cooking, I said I was knacked, feeling like shit and going to bed. 10 minutes later, both standing in the bedroom.😠 FFS.
I've had a rotten cold for 4 days. I'm up by 5am and on my feet all day at work from 6am. I cook dinner each night.
Last night, after cooking, I said I was knacked, feeling like shit and going to bed. 10 minutes later, both standing in the bedroom.😠 FFS.
This will be funny. I get the feeling people think I'm making pizza, when I'm actually making roast veg tarte tatin.
I've been at work all day. Some people slept for most of the day, others spent the night and day in a lovely house, with an indoor swimming pool.
Fuck all dinner waiting for me.
I've been at work all day. Some people slept for most of the day, others spent the night and day in a lovely house, with an indoor swimming pool.
Fuck all dinner waiting for me.
July 20, 2025 at 5:47 PM
This will be funny. I get the feeling people think I'm making pizza, when I'm actually making roast veg tarte tatin.
I've been at work all day. Some people slept for most of the day, others spent the night and day in a lovely house, with an indoor swimming pool.
Fuck all dinner waiting for me.
I've been at work all day. Some people slept for most of the day, others spent the night and day in a lovely house, with an indoor swimming pool.
Fuck all dinner waiting for me.
Norman in his nest. 😻
July 19, 2025 at 10:48 AM
Norman in his nest. 😻
This is hilarious. LS is going to Pannal. She's been fucking about all morning. She was expecting a lift, door to door. She's now standing at the bus stop. Don't fuck with me, LS. 😂 I'm having a beer. Cheers. 🍺🍺🍺
July 19, 2025 at 10:29 AM
This is hilarious. LS is going to Pannal. She's been fucking about all morning. She was expecting a lift, door to door. She's now standing at the bus stop. Don't fuck with me, LS. 😂 I'm having a beer. Cheers. 🍺🍺🍺
I'm on a train. We've left the station. Now we're not moving.
Fecking great.
Fecking great.
July 4, 2025 at 4:49 PM
I'm on a train. We've left the station. Now we're not moving.
Fecking great.
Fecking great.
First day of my week off, wide-a-fucking-wake. FFS.
July 3, 2025 at 11:07 PM
First day of my week off, wide-a-fucking-wake. FFS.
Found it collapsed on the path. Gave it some sugary water and some shade for around 15 minutes. It flew away, happy, I hope. 🐝
July 3, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Found it collapsed on the path. Gave it some sugary water and some shade for around 15 minutes. It flew away, happy, I hope. 🐝
A basket of kittens.
June 28, 2025 at 7:23 PM
A basket of kittens.
LS was complaining of feeling 'sick' this morning. Highly unusual for a Monday. If she pulls this trick to get out of going to football tonight, I've told Abi to let her.
Then I'm taking the pair of us to a restaurant, while LS 'recovers' at home.
I bet this is 'unfair'. 😂
Then I'm taking the pair of us to a restaurant, while LS 'recovers' at home.
I bet this is 'unfair'. 😂
June 23, 2025 at 11:51 AM
LS was complaining of feeling 'sick' this morning. Highly unusual for a Monday. If she pulls this trick to get out of going to football tonight, I've told Abi to let her.
Then I'm taking the pair of us to a restaurant, while LS 'recovers' at home.
I bet this is 'unfair'. 😂
Then I'm taking the pair of us to a restaurant, while LS 'recovers' at home.
I bet this is 'unfair'. 😂
Otto Von Floofle is very good at hiding, can you spot him?
June 23, 2025 at 11:42 AM
Otto Von Floofle is very good at hiding, can you spot him?
Yesterday, LS had a cookie for breakfast, chicken nuggets for lunch. I have no idea what she had for dinner, if anything. This morning, she had no breakfast, lunch was an ice-cream waffle. She's having instant noodles for dinner.
Hmmmm. Oh well. 🤷🏻
Hmmmm. Oh well. 🤷🏻
June 22, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Yesterday, LS had a cookie for breakfast, chicken nuggets for lunch. I have no idea what she had for dinner, if anything. This morning, she had no breakfast, lunch was an ice-cream waffle. She's having instant noodles for dinner.
Hmmmm. Oh well. 🤷🏻
Hmmmm. Oh well. 🤷🏻
She's back. That was a quick 45 minutes.
June 16, 2025 at 7:32 PM
She's back. That was a quick 45 minutes.
LS has "hurt her foot at football".
She wants a taxi sending.
1 mile. She's 1 fucking mile from home. She said it's going to take 45 minutes to hobble home.
I bet if we were going to a restaurant, she'd be there in under 10 minutes.
Get. Fucked. 😂
She wants a taxi sending.
1 mile. She's 1 fucking mile from home. She said it's going to take 45 minutes to hobble home.
I bet if we were going to a restaurant, she'd be there in under 10 minutes.
Get. Fucked. 😂
June 16, 2025 at 7:26 PM
LS has "hurt her foot at football".
She wants a taxi sending.
1 mile. She's 1 fucking mile from home. She said it's going to take 45 minutes to hobble home.
I bet if we were going to a restaurant, she'd be there in under 10 minutes.
Get. Fucked. 😂
She wants a taxi sending.
1 mile. She's 1 fucking mile from home. She said it's going to take 45 minutes to hobble home.
I bet if we were going to a restaurant, she'd be there in under 10 minutes.
Get. Fucked. 😂
LS to Abi just now... "Are you going to make my packed lunch or not, because I don't have the time?"
"I'll get up early to help you make it."
"I'm not getting up early, I'm too tired.”
What a spoiled little fucker...
"I'll get up early to help you make it."
"I'm not getting up early, I'm too tired.”
What a spoiled little fucker...
June 10, 2025 at 8:28 PM
LS to Abi just now... "Are you going to make my packed lunch or not, because I don't have the time?"
"I'll get up early to help you make it."
"I'm not getting up early, I'm too tired.”
What a spoiled little fucker...
"I'll get up early to help you make it."
"I'm not getting up early, I'm too tired.”
What a spoiled little fucker...
Abi is having the frame removed from her leg in the next few minutes. I'm on the train to get her from the hospital. Dinner and a couple of drinks later on. No need to rush home.
June 6, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Abi is having the frame removed from her leg in the next few minutes. I'm on the train to get her from the hospital. Dinner and a couple of drinks later on. No need to rush home.
Otley today for a beer or two.
May 31, 2025 at 8:31 AM
Otley today for a beer or two.
LS was told yesterday that it would rain overnight.
LS couldn't be bothered to bring her washing in.
LS now has some wet clothes on the line, still in the rain.
There is a small gap on the line, where my t-shirt was. It's nice and dry in the house.
Silly LS.
LS couldn't be bothered to bring her washing in.
LS now has some wet clothes on the line, still in the rain.
There is a small gap on the line, where my t-shirt was. It's nice and dry in the house.
Silly LS.
May 29, 2025 at 11:28 AM
LS was told yesterday that it would rain overnight.
LS couldn't be bothered to bring her washing in.
LS now has some wet clothes on the line, still in the rain.
There is a small gap on the line, where my t-shirt was. It's nice and dry in the house.
Silly LS.
LS couldn't be bothered to bring her washing in.
LS now has some wet clothes on the line, still in the rain.
There is a small gap on the line, where my t-shirt was. It's nice and dry in the house.
Silly LS.
Yes, wide awake. FFS.
May 28, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Yes, wide awake. FFS.
Fantastic food at Cinnamon Kitchen Leeds on Saturday, and a drink or two. 😀👍
May 28, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Fantastic food at Cinnamon Kitchen Leeds on Saturday, and a drink or two. 😀👍
I am looking forward to this.
May 24, 2025 at 10:37 AM
I am looking forward to this.