times like this I just wonder what my grandmother is doing

gonna talk to her. and maybe the rest of my family. idk.

getting attention online just, is not to move I think. idk.

and what exactly happens, anyhow?

just guilt. instead of saying a fucking word I should shut the fuck up and just, do something else

I need to find more friends but I really don't have the energy to find them anymore

stuck getting droplets of attention, because that's all I can get

just so tired of talking to myself

do I message them? do I bug them anyhow, despite knowing full well i probably just slipped their mind? am I overbearing?

or do I just wait and be alone, like always

man I'm tired.

urge to do something indulgent and drastic

but, I know I shouldn't. desperation for attention is just that bad ig

I'm super forgetful of other people, until it's time for them to reciprocate; the end result is the same, we just swap between who is left in the cold

Just got done smoking crack and punching a child in the face as hard as I could

Can’t do that on Twitter, love it here

I wish I understood people

I don't get asking something from me, something that takes cooperation, and then never following up or pursuing it after

I don't know why I haven't blocked almost everyone I engage with on this hobby and made new friends while drowning in perpetual dissatisfaction

good an introduction as any

do not assume I am talking about you
I am not here for conversations I am here to vent
I do not take this account all that seriously so don't except to see angst 24/7
leak anything and I block you everywhere

and so I get that sensation specific to fridays after work, where I have no one replying to me at all and I start doing things I probably shouldn't out of desperation because I've exhausted all my avenues to reach out to people I care about who won't do the same to me

bluesky is cool tho