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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt

@ugarles.bsky.social

46K followers 550 following 15K posts

dumb laws deserve my thoughts on them https://linktr.ee/ugarles i will do your podcast ALABSeries.com with @helldude.bsky.social @wyattprivilege.bsky.social & @garliccorgi.bsky.social City Saint/Country Saint with @lronmexico.bsky.social

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 2d

Fun podcast time: I joined @kathbarbadoro.bsky.social and @pattymo.com to fill in for an otherwise engaged Eli Yudin on this week's @whatatimepod.bsky.social. A great time was had by all* and the bespoke drops from @classicshelb.bsky.social truly made my day.

*me, anyway

#406 Kurger_Bing (w/ Charles Star)

open.spotify.com

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 27m

it was funny to hear the booth forced to talk about him like he's a make-a-wish kid as he was getting torched in the postseason again because this was supposed to be a valedictory

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 33m

clayton kershaw being forced to eat innings because he honked another playoff game is the way i'll remember him as a player sorry pal you should have been less of an asshole on your way out

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 38m

schwarber hit that one over the rainbow

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 55m

check your pockets

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 1h

of course. i assume the Atlantic is mostly dullards and I think i only misunderstood your original intention.

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 4h

I think the irony is supposed to be that they are cutting the rich guy enforcement budget despite it being an ATM

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 6h

this is how a lot of people talk about sobriety

ESPN headline: Iverson discusses sobriety, lowest point in life

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 6h

Mr. Corpus is not only suspended, he is fired.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 7h

Q: Have you given any more thought to possibly suspending habeas corpus?

TRUMP: Suspending who?

Q: Habeas corpus

TRUMP: I don't know. I'd rather leave that to Kristi.

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 7h

they say they don't want it to be explicitly political but it's just ... garbage. and then they do things that they don't think are political but resetting the baseline mood is only apolitical if you have the hubris to consider yourself the Unbiased Position - which is politics!

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 7h

From the cutting room floor of Jimmy Fallon, it's Metaxasizing across America!

“Big news in the world of show business,” Metaxas began the first episode. “Harrison Ford will be returning for a fifth Indiana Jones movie. Yeah. In this one Harrison will find an ancient artifact … by looking in the mirror.”

There were a few titters from the audience, and scattered applause. Metaxas, appearing nervous, continued with the one-liners:

“Barbie’s longtime companion, Ken, just turned 61 years old. Yeah. And he said the perfect gift for his birthday would be to finally get a prostate.”

This time there were some audible groans. Metaxas stuck at it.

“In India, doctors removed 526 teeth from a seven-year-old boy’s mouth,” he chortled. “The boy is recovering nicely. However, the Tooth Fairy declared bankruptcy.”

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 8h

lol

from ESPN.com: "Cleveland Browns coach Kevin Stefanski on Wednesday was noncommittal on whether rookie Shedeur Sanders -- or practice squad quarterback Bailey Zappe -- would be the team's backup quarterback in the aftermath of trading Joe Flacco to the Cincinnati Bengals."

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 9h

i'll report back... if i don't get distracted

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 10h

Pam Bondi opening her notes and looking at "More like Weldon Shitehouse, am I right?"

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 10h

My wife found an old issue of Penthouse in her files from when she ran a media criticism zine. She had it because it contained an interview with Ernest Dichter, a name that sounds like it was made up for a letter to Penthouse.

Partial cover of the January 1974 issue of Penthouse. The articles listed on the cover are:

Promiscuity in the Courts: The Baked Judges

Their Man in the White House

Interview: Dr. Richter- Adman's Guru

Fiction by Gerald Green

You can see past of the cover model. A long brunette braid falls over a tanned left arm, she's wearing a chunky necklace and a nice titty has been censored so the image doesn't get flagged.

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 12h

the Trump voters that like trumps trolling are not gettable and the Newsom voters that like Newsom's trolling are viscerally repulsive to the rest of the necessary coalition so we are only persuading as hostages. so that's how they always present the option! it's charming.

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 12h

Gavin Newsom fans cheering for trolling Trump as a path to victory are the early stages of a digital cargo cult.

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 12h

the chat is BACK

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 12h

the devil's plan

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 13h

nickclegg is what Janice did to Svetlana

The Verge @theverge.com · May 26

Nick Clegg says asking artists for use permission would ‘kill’ the AI industry

Paul McCartne, Elton John and others signed an open letter.

buff.ly

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 13h

Trump's gambit is going to blow up in his face when everyone finds out he flew on Earhart's plane too

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 17h

hmmmmmm

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 23h

thank you that is the goal of all of my posts

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 23h

alas something like this has happened more than once and i think my brother was on the bad end of it once after witnessing it at the pizza dinner

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 23h

the worst time this triggered, i was out with a large group for dinner and a too-hot slice of pizza dripped a dot of sauce on my negative-g spot and i hack coughed a mouthful of pizza at my friend sitting right across the table from me and i should have been mortified but laughed uncontrollably

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Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · 23h

what are the odds