A is for AVAILABILITY.

Franchise the in-person model to maximise time-on-knee for good boys and girls. Deploy Santas where cheer is least abundant.

And to all a good night.
🎅

T is for TIME-BOXING.

As Dickens’ Law states, time expands to fill the number of presents to be delivered, regardless of congestion or pending roadworks.

N is for NAUGHTY/NICE.

Draw a grid with a nice-to-naughty axis, and an ingress-difficulty axis. Prioritise drop-offs to nice kids with narrow chimneys.

A is for ABSTAIN.

Accept the milk and cookies left for you on behalf of your reindeer. Regift the whiskey to your workers — they’ve earned it.

S is for SCHEDULE.

Rest for 364½ days, work for one night. Promote your most diligent elves to manage continual toy output.

If eggs aren’t your bag, get yourself a whistling kettle. If you can keep scrolling through an ear-splittle whistle, you’ve got bigger problems.

…a pan of boiling water – along with the potential for food waste – is more likely to create enough urgency to drag your bum off the sofa.

Stick a couple of eggs in some water, bring them to the boil, set a timer, and settle in for some scroll time. The timer alone probably won’t pull you out, but…

5. Build own cannery to process fish directly
6. Expand to larger premises
7. Hire employees to manage operations
8. Take company public through IPO
9. Become a millionaire and retire
10. Fish in the mornings and chill the rest of the day