He almost made it through 3 Dan Brown sized paragraphs without mentioning gender.

Soooo excited [inserts sarcasm for context] Congress gets to choose their own punishment especially when “none” is the only option they will be voting for.

1) I love this post.

2) I know it’s a joke, and a great one, but this idea absolutely needs to be put to film.

Is this proper technique for opening Secret Lairs?

I can’t be the only one who’s watched Dead Alive?

We’re not making safe theater!

It drives people crazy when I say it and Bubba HoTep and UHF are already listed but Hamlet 2 is gold.

A million times YES!

The city before being Avenged.

Sometimes life is hard. It’s harder if you’re stupid.

I’ve always preferred awful jokes and dad jokes.
-What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
-How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.
-How can you tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.

Sen. Eric Schmitt : Only a man that has repeatedly failed to be an accountable leader and a decent person can lead a department that has repeatedly failed basic accounting.

What? Even after he took your endorsement?

I feel so attacked right now.