PROCEDURAL:This will be archived as required by the Revised Broken Clockspotting Act of '25. The last paragraph will be highlighted as unnecessary to the point, pursuant with the Spineless Emboldening of Pathetic Racists clause.
#Parody #Satire #USDSEGL #Seagull #BrokenClock #ImpeachTrump #FireBondi

URGENT: Following radar failure at Newark, USD-SEGL has initiated a Level 3 Qualification Review of "Didn't Earn It" Failure Sean Duffy. Airspace equity cannot be maintained under current signal integrity.

#Satire #Parody #TrumpIsAFailure #UnqualifiedCabinet #FireSeanDuffy #GOPFailure #DuranDuran

From the Desk of Geed B. Suvene: USD-SEGL stands with Rep. Sara Jacobs on the DELETE DOGE Act. Phase 7 protocols activated. Guillotine readiness remains contingent on public resource redistribution.
#Satire #Parody #SaraJacobs #DeleteDOGE #USDSEGL #Seagull #TrumpIsAFailure #Left

From the desk of Director Geed B. Suvene: USD-SEGL officially endorses the Vatican Seagull for Pope. As the Conclave continues, we trust the votes will be cast for his glorious feathered ascension. Long live Pope SEGL the 1st!
#Satire #Parody #Seagull #Pope #Conclave2025 #USDSEGL

USD-SEGL acknowledges Powell’s latest response to Trump's tariffs and has activated Oligarch Oversight. Redistribution is 2 rowboats instead of 30 yachts. Non-compliance will be reported to the Ministry of Sharpened Accountability.
#Satire #Parody #Trumpflation #USDSEGL #seagull

URGENT: USD-SEGL is reallocating resources for improved training in clown makeup application protocols. Non-compliance will result in referral to the Ministry of Aesthetics.

#DEI #DUIHires #Satire #Parody #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice #aesthetic #seagull #ClownShow #AnnoyingOrange

INTERNAL MEMO: DO NOT CIRCULATE

USD-SEGL is now operational.

Redistribution audits active. Sharpening quarterly.

Voluntas Populi. Iudicium Populi. Ferrum Populi.

Blade Sharpening Fund: ko-fi.com/usdsegl

(Parody agency. Blades metaphorical. Mostly.)