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Valerie Halla

@valeriehalla.dicot.moe

4K followers 120 following 1.2K posts

🌱 Writer, cartoonist, and composer for CURSE/KISS/CUTE 🍀 Jackrabbit-of-all-trades artist-type with computer inclusions 🌿 Queer, trans 🥦 She? He? 🐍 Sometimes NSFW https://www.dicot.moe/

www.dicot.moe

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · May 24

#CurseKissCute “Name of the Helper, Part I” is now LIVE!

→ www.dicot.moe/ckc-1 ←

> Don’t get it twisted! Fresh-faced college grad Nathan Small is as normal as humans come. He only has one problem in life: the giggling little fairy-thing that just transfigured his slacks into a miniskirt...

Cover art for “Name of the Helper, Part I”. An extremely flustered boy looks on as a masked fairy emerges from beneath his skirt. The tent in the skirt formed by the fairy resembles a boner.

Nathan Small is sitting alone on a train. You can tell he’s normal because he’s wearing a button-down and a tie. He is twenty-two years old, and you had better *believe* he has a degree in software engineering.

He blinks his bleary eyes, then again. He pauses his music, pulls off his headphones, checks his watch. He has managed to sleep for a whole twenty minutes. He isn’t sure why he’s thinking about pentagons.

*It’s because they don’t... fit?*

“This your first visit to Charmside, short stuff?” The slime (whose stuff is quite a lot shorter than Nathan’s) is sorting through a stack of pamphlets as they ask the question, not even looking at the boy. Their voice is squeaky, thickly accented.

Nathan clears his throat. Natural alto though he may be, the task before him represents extinction-level peril for his psyche. “Well, um, yes,” he lilts, and winces. He fixes his hair, then fixes it again. He pecks a crease in his sweater straight. “And it’s going great, so, y’know, yeah!”

“Don’t seem like it,” says the slime. “You’re all agitated and your aura’s gone Kiki out to here. I take it you just got changed?”

Nathan shrugs. A rivulet of sweat runs down the back of his head. He clasps his hands together in a dainty gesture he hopes is more on-putting than off-. “W-well, define ‘changed’...”

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 18h

with the way bluesky is handling things it’s getting harder every day to believe this is the same company that once made Ultima Underworld. how the mighty have fallen...

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 19h

it's like every time i see the moon it's somewhere else. make up your damn mind bud

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 1d

last night my blanket was super staticky and when i touched the string of fairy lights above my bed (which were not plugged in) not only did i get a static shock but the shock made all of the fairy lights turn on for a millisecond

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 1d

real life eye contact is uncomfortable. eye contact with cartoon characters is awesome and i love it. covered up eyes? its simply cute ... and sometimes cool.....................................

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 1d

as someone who really struggled with patches i am Loving the convenience of injections. like if you can get past the initial psychological hurdle of sticking yourself with a needle it’s awesome to be able to just Set It And Forget It once a week

Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 1d

my skin has been clearing up in ways previously thought impossible since the switch to injections. sample size of one but wowie?????

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 1d

fourth estradiol injection down... it’s boring to me now. i’m officially over it. it barely took me one minutes to work up the courage to stick it in this time. i’m pretty much a certified badass

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 2d

you know, it’s weird. i don’t really think of selené as being a trans woman. i keep forgetting to count her in the tally of trans characters in CKC. it’s just obvious that she has a cock. like of course she does. what the hell else would be going on down there

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 2d

its called writing. im a writer

Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 2d

i feel that art carries the same moral weight as speaking, because art at its core is just vajazzled speech. the compulsion to speak comes from many places some of which are selfish but at the end of the day it’s so fundamental to being human that it feels unproductive to Judge, u know what i mean…

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 3d

again though: really can’t overstate how fundamentally unfumblable this ball should have been. the test is open-note!! just leave the porn alone and don’t deliberately alienate your entire userbase and you’re golden!! i wouldn’t even care if they loaded this thing up with ads!!

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 3d

it’s easy to forget that social media has only been around for like twenty years, and in that time it has never been made profitable by any mechanism other than pissing its users off. it may just be the fate of social media to eventually fragment back into a constellation of smaller communities

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 3d

ik the average user doesn’t and shouldn’t be expected to understand what atproto is or how it works and i agree that bluesky is fumbling the easiest ball ever invented by god, but i guess i’m glad that the thing *is* open source and it *is* possible for third parties to salvage if it goes bad

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 3d

i have to make art because if i don’t make art then my fucking guys aren’t alive. and that’s so boring

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 4d

WHAT!!!!

Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 4d

i've been trying to get his attention for forever but it's like he doesn't even know i exist

Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 5d

like i think the answer is yes he health is very visibly failing and that likely does explain some of his absences but also at this point the presidency is on auto-pilot so as long as he can still string together a semi-coherent sentence in public now and then it’s business as usual

Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 5d

you know how wizards can cast cone of cold? I think they should be able to cast any type of cone. cone of traffic, cone on the cob, (appears to lose interest in this joke and wanders off. last witnessed at 3:22 AM walking barefoot through the drive-thru of Carl's Jr. in a state of apparent agitation

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 6d

game design opinion: if you have an element system, and two of those elements are Fire and Ice, they should be mutually weak against each other. right? you know? if you put ice on a fire the fire goes out, and if you put fire on a ice the ice goes out. that’s just science!!!!

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 6d

we're gonna have to inject the serum and mutate into a single beautiful column of flesh, for warmth

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 6d

its freaking kjöld...... it's not even 16°C (289K) out......... you could basically unfry an egg on the sidewalk right now.....

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 7d

i still like this jackalope avatar a lot but the problem is that i'm fairy and became to be a fairy and i'm permanently a fairy and nobody ever heard of a fairy that was also a bunny with antlers. that's too many things. that's three things, the limit is two things

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 7d

human sex hormones are lifesaving medication etc etc etc but i also think you should just be allowed to play with them without having to ask for permission first. what’s the fucking point of a cyberpunk dystopia where you can’t even impulse buy some cross-sex hormone therapy at the gas station

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 7d

erotic art is awesome for all of the normal reasons but also because it’s basically irony-proof. try to draw a girl with a boner ironically. you can’t

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Valerie Halla @valeriehalla.dicot.moe · 7d

i feel like there was a cultural moment where it seemed like sincerity was going to triumph over irony and then society at large just kind of said sike and descended back into the darkest pits of apathetic disengagement i’ve ever known in my life and like i get it but also you have to keep believing

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