zwee
@vampirebitch.bsky.social
I’m everything. You’re just blood.
*walks up to straight couple* so which one of you’s the social elite and which one is the enemy of the state?
November 29, 2025 at 7:48 AM
*walks up to straight couple* so which one of you’s the social elite and which one is the enemy of the state?
Three things I look forward to in a movie:
- tasteful side wood
- sideways Italian flag
- greasy bald women
- tasteful side wood
- sideways Italian flag
- greasy bald women
November 29, 2025 at 5:07 AM
Three things I look forward to in a movie:
- tasteful side wood
- sideways Italian flag
- greasy bald women
- tasteful side wood
- sideways Italian flag
- greasy bald women
He’s there… the phantom of the flop era.
November 19, 2025 at 11:23 PM
He’s there… the phantom of the flop era.
I’m sorry but the way some of you talk about bush feels performative as fuck. I don’t believe you. And the more you call yourself a real bush lover the more you’re who I’m talking about.
November 11, 2025 at 10:16 PM
I’m sorry but the way some of you talk about bush feels performative as fuck. I don’t believe you. And the more you call yourself a real bush lover the more you’re who I’m talking about.
I think if an aspiring musician made a pact with the devil for fame, it would look like Taylor Swift’s career. Notice how I said “fame,” not “talent”.
October 18, 2025 at 4:41 PM
I think if an aspiring musician made a pact with the devil for fame, it would look like Taylor Swift’s career. Notice how I said “fame,” not “talent”.
I love spotting continuity errors but then it’s like “oh… oh, I care more about this than the creator did…” 😔
September 13, 2025 at 5:14 AM
I love spotting continuity errors but then it’s like “oh… oh, I care more about this than the creator did…” 😔
Might as well post this here too
September 13, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Might as well post this here too
No sympathy for ChatGPT users. Oh, deliberately bypassing your use of critical thought voluntarily made yourself stupider? Absolutely everyone could have predicted that.
September 10, 2025 at 3:24 PM
No sympathy for ChatGPT users. Oh, deliberately bypassing your use of critical thought voluntarily made yourself stupider? Absolutely everyone could have predicted that.
People always act surprised when someone with ADHD has a high tolerance to literally any substance and meanwhile every person I know with ADHD is like “yeah I would drink about a litre of coffee per day at work/school and then go home and smoke enough weed to go to sleep before I got diagnosed”.
September 7, 2025 at 9:02 PM
People always act surprised when someone with ADHD has a high tolerance to literally any substance and meanwhile every person I know with ADHD is like “yeah I would drink about a litre of coffee per day at work/school and then go home and smoke enough weed to go to sleep before I got diagnosed”.
Recession is when Everyone Poor and it’s based on vibes.
September 7, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Recession is when Everyone Poor and it’s based on vibes.
Stop saying “we’re in a recession and the media’s hiding it from us” unless you actually understand the economic conditions a country has to meet to declare recession. Like yeah, you have to have already lived in one for at least 6 months, that’s how it works lmao.
September 7, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Stop saying “we’re in a recession and the media’s hiding it from us” unless you actually understand the economic conditions a country has to meet to declare recession. Like yeah, you have to have already lived in one for at least 6 months, that’s how it works lmao.
People who can’t tolerate liquorice or fennel/anise make me irrationally angry like I bet you’re scared of goths too
September 7, 2025 at 8:31 PM
People who can’t tolerate liquorice or fennel/anise make me irrationally angry like I bet you’re scared of goths too
Why tf would I make a LinkedIn, putting my full government name on the internet, like have we learned nothing from Facebook?
August 26, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Why tf would I make a LinkedIn, putting my full government name on the internet, like have we learned nothing from Facebook?
*hits joint* yeah no, they were terrible and insane together, it was fucking awesome.
August 16, 2025 at 8:20 PM
*hits joint* yeah no, they were terrible and insane together, it was fucking awesome.
If you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em off, or whatever the saying is.
August 16, 2025 at 7:28 PM
If you can’t join ‘em, beat ‘em off, or whatever the saying is.
That guy? Yeah, oh my god, he fucking sucks. Unfortunately, he’s also pretty, so I have to sit on his face. Peg him a bit, too.
August 15, 2025 at 7:12 AM
That guy? Yeah, oh my god, he fucking sucks. Unfortunately, he’s also pretty, so I have to sit on his face. Peg him a bit, too.
I love foils like hell yeah. Put my hair in a sandwich.
August 2, 2025 at 8:54 PM
I love foils like hell yeah. Put my hair in a sandwich.
Watching Buffy for the first time and I finished season 5…
July 25, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Watching Buffy for the first time and I finished season 5…
“Cutwater” this. “Cutwater” that. Baby if you want to have a strong drink that’s actually tasty you can find soju with the same alcohol %. Why torture yourself with pretending it’s not a sipping drink.
July 20, 2025 at 1:27 AM
“Cutwater” this. “Cutwater” that. Baby if you want to have a strong drink that’s actually tasty you can find soju with the same alcohol %. Why torture yourself with pretending it’s not a sipping drink.
Just realized that Eve being created from Adam’s rib also makes her his daughter…
July 19, 2025 at 1:08 AM
Just realized that Eve being created from Adam’s rib also makes her his daughter…
Wait, it’s ACTUALLY called alligator Alcatraz? I thought that was a nickname.
July 11, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Wait, it’s ACTUALLY called alligator Alcatraz? I thought that was a nickname.
Like, what do you mean people are using the the same site for dating AND job boards. What is this, posh Craigslist?
I swear I don’t have LinkedIn, but the culture of it absolutely fascinates me. It’s like personal social media, but they cut out the middleman of actual content and go straight to the brand deals.
June 13, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Like, what do you mean people are using the the same site for dating AND job boards. What is this, posh Craigslist?
I swear I don’t have LinkedIn, but the culture of it absolutely fascinates me. It’s like personal social media, but they cut out the middleman of actual content and go straight to the brand deals.
June 13, 2025 at 5:49 AM
I swear I don’t have LinkedIn, but the culture of it absolutely fascinates me. It’s like personal social media, but they cut out the middleman of actual content and go straight to the brand deals.
Apparently ChatGPT was down for like two hours. Big day for dumb people.
June 10, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Apparently ChatGPT was down for like two hours. Big day for dumb people.