Passing so much gas they're gonna have me on Maury and tell me "You are the farter"

Dear financial institutions, I'm a very good boy and I can be trusted with a loan of a few thousand dollars ♥️♥️♥️

You couldn't pay me to learn about League. Don't talk to me about "jungler" don't explain what a "bot lane" is to me, and i hope you're "hard stuck bronze" or whatever forever.

Every time I think I'm done shitting here comes another turd. I understand sisyphus.

Layaway bbl

When I was a little kid I didn't know that football players were wearing shoulder pads, I just thought every football player was some kind of homunculus beast with freakish looking shoulders and the fighting spirit to play America's greatest sport.

Never play the fart or shit game, you will lose

She's putting my weiner in a Delta P situation

Making moves like a pirated TV show the way I've got Daily Motion.

The purpose of a system is what it does

Wish I knew anyone who lived in Chicago so I could send them on a mission. I'm looking for a rare CD that you might literally only be able to find in person at a record shop somewhere in Grayslake or Chicago.

I pretended to like Deadpool in middle school to impress a guy and he didn't give a fuck, but my family thought I actually liked it so I've had a Deadpool poster in my room for like 8 years.

Praying everyone who has ever wronged me gets reincarnated as a goldfish at the county fair

Balls gif