Olivia R. Burton
@vinegarvegan.bsky.social
Author, vegan, cat lady, mustard lover
Pinned
Am I my cats’ paypig?
I’m watching Cliffhanger and Stallone’s only expression in this whole movie has been, “I think I overcooked my Hungry Man Microwave Dinner but I’m too scared to taste it and see.”
January 25, 2026 at 5:47 AM
I’m watching Cliffhanger and Stallone’s only expression in this whole movie has been, “I think I overcooked my Hungry Man Microwave Dinner but I’m too scared to taste it and see.”
I gave Peeps a freeze-dried chicken heart. Instead of eating it, she slapped it like a hockey puck right into the side of another cat’s face.
January 1, 2026 at 7:15 AM
I gave Peeps a freeze-dried chicken heart. Instead of eating it, she slapped it like a hockey puck right into the side of another cat’s face.
Dwight keeps screaming when I tell him he’s a handsome boy, so I asked if he wants to be a beautiful girl instead. He still yelled, so I tried new labels and we’ve agreed he identifies as a Lovely Lumberjack, instead of boy or girl.
December 29, 2025 at 10:39 PM
Dwight keeps screaming when I tell him he’s a handsome boy, so I asked if he wants to be a beautiful girl instead. He still yelled, so I tried new labels and we’ve agreed he identifies as a Lovely Lumberjack, instead of boy or girl.
I truly despise the trend of filming podcasts. If I wanted to watch something, I would put on tv or a movie.
December 16, 2025 at 9:02 PM
I truly despise the trend of filming podcasts. If I wanted to watch something, I would put on tv or a movie.
I just ran across someone whose last name alone is Burkhartsmeier, which sounds like the full name of some cop on Miami Vice
December 5, 2025 at 6:37 PM
I just ran across someone whose last name alone is Burkhartsmeier, which sounds like the full name of some cop on Miami Vice
I’m watching It’s a Wonderful Knife and every time Justin Long isn’t on screen, I think he’s Steve Gutenberg.
December 1, 2025 at 3:56 AM
I’m watching It’s a Wonderful Knife and every time Justin Long isn’t on screen, I think he’s Steve Gutenberg.
Me watching the latest Conjuring movie after having binged the other ones back to back: oh man. Are they killing Father … Old Dude? Oh no. Not that guy.
November 30, 2025 at 5:26 AM
Me watching the latest Conjuring movie after having binged the other ones back to back: oh man. Are they killing Father … Old Dude? Oh no. Not that guy.
Am I my cats’ paypig?
November 27, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Am I my cats’ paypig?
I’m jealous of Ashleys because they can make their online handle, “Trashley.” Can’t really do anything fun with Olivia.
November 22, 2025 at 1:45 AM
I’m jealous of Ashleys because they can make their online handle, “Trashley.” Can’t really do anything fun with Olivia.
If the way people in perimenopause exist is the way cis men exist at all times, it’s proof cis men shouldn’t be in charge of anything. My house is a mess, my brain is half-pudding, I’m selfish, and my motivation is low. My house looks like a bachelor lives here and that’s no way to run the world.
November 20, 2025 at 3:48 PM
If the way people in perimenopause exist is the way cis men exist at all times, it’s proof cis men shouldn’t be in charge of anything. My house is a mess, my brain is half-pudding, I’m selfish, and my motivation is low. My house looks like a bachelor lives here and that’s no way to run the world.
I wish the myth of soy pumping the body full of estrogen was true because then I could just continue to eat tofu and drink soy milk instead of fighting with insurance over HRT to help my perimenopause symptoms.
November 7, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I wish the myth of soy pumping the body full of estrogen was true because then I could just continue to eat tofu and drink soy milk instead of fighting with insurance over HRT to help my perimenopause symptoms.
The more I watch Sleepy Hollow the more I realize the actual plot we’re following is Ichabod bragging about dating every Founding Father and Aby having to remind him that he’s only attracted to toxic men.
November 1, 2025 at 1:56 AM
The more I watch Sleepy Hollow the more I realize the actual plot we’re following is Ichabod bragging about dating every Founding Father and Aby having to remind him that he’s only attracted to toxic men.
With everything going on in the world and the US collapsing under the rule of loser boneheads, I’m going to have to try to live the same as my cat after her recent dental work: “Very high and angry, but doing great.”
October 31, 2025 at 8:01 PM
With everything going on in the world and the US collapsing under the rule of loser boneheads, I’m going to have to try to live the same as my cat after her recent dental work: “Very high and angry, but doing great.”
I love that villains in horror movies are incapable of gripping things sturdily and surely. They have to slowly, tentatively, one-finger-at-a-time take delicate hold of any item they want.
October 16, 2025 at 1:33 AM
I love that villains in horror movies are incapable of gripping things sturdily and surely. They have to slowly, tentatively, one-finger-at-a-time take delicate hold of any item they want.
Is Cher short for Cherish, but pronounced with a SHH because otherwise we would have to call her Chair?
October 6, 2025 at 4:41 AM
Is Cher short for Cherish, but pronounced with a SHH because otherwise we would have to call her Chair?
The words “selfie” and “picture” have become interchangeable and I hate it.
September 27, 2025 at 6:41 PM
The words “selfie” and “picture” have become interchangeable and I hate it.
Fostering has allowed me to have many himbo cats and hobo cats through my house. Applesauce is both. He’s beautiful and not bright but also crusty.
September 22, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Fostering has allowed me to have many himbo cats and hobo cats through my house. Applesauce is both. He’s beautiful and not bright but also crusty.
Is there an age where it’s not jarring to remember your own age?
September 22, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Is there an age where it’s not jarring to remember your own age?
I’ve been watching Gilmore Girls for the 20th time and I swear I’ve noticed at least 10 things every season so far that I’ve never noticed before.
September 22, 2025 at 4:10 AM
I’ve been watching Gilmore Girls for the 20th time and I swear I’ve noticed at least 10 things every season so far that I’ve never noticed before.
I’m watching a documentary on FDR and it’s led me to believe we need to give every rich politician polio.
August 14, 2025 at 12:25 AM
I’m watching a documentary on FDR and it’s led me to believe we need to give every rich politician polio.
I told a cashier, as he rung up the bagful I was buying, that I’d fallen in love with cosmic crisp apples. With his big beard and secret smirk, he leaned in and whispered, “try the envies,” and then winked. I feel like I’ve been invited into a secret apple club.
August 13, 2025 at 7:41 PM
I told a cashier, as he rung up the bagful I was buying, that I’d fallen in love with cosmic crisp apples. With his big beard and secret smirk, he leaned in and whispered, “try the envies,” and then winked. I feel like I’ve been invited into a secret apple club.
I have a coworker whom I rarely see anymore, but whose behavior is unhinged. Today, she came to the department potluck, cut in front of everyone, (very seriously) asked, “where’s the communist garlic bread?” loaded 2 plates up with food, and left. She doesn’t work in our dept. or even on our floor.
August 1, 2025 at 12:02 AM
I have a coworker whom I rarely see anymore, but whose behavior is unhinged. Today, she came to the department potluck, cut in front of everyone, (very seriously) asked, “where’s the communist garlic bread?” loaded 2 plates up with food, and left. She doesn’t work in our dept. or even on our floor.
One of the worst things about podcasts is arguments about pronunciation. It literally doesn’t matter. Your dialect or accent is not universal. Just chill, baby.
July 21, 2025 at 3:00 AM
One of the worst things about podcasts is arguments about pronunciation. It literally doesn’t matter. Your dialect or accent is not universal. Just chill, baby.
I’m watching Blindspot and, while Jamie Alexander IS one of the hottest people on the planet, I really hate that they paired her with a troll whose entire personality is GRUNTTOXICMASCULINITYGRUNT!
I do love the criminal kingpin dude who sexually harasses troll dude, though.
I do love the criminal kingpin dude who sexually harasses troll dude, though.
June 28, 2025 at 1:16 AM
I’m watching Blindspot and, while Jamie Alexander IS one of the hottest people on the planet, I really hate that they paired her with a troll whose entire personality is GRUNTTOXICMASCULINITYGRUNT!
I do love the criminal kingpin dude who sexually harasses troll dude, though.
I do love the criminal kingpin dude who sexually harasses troll dude, though.