Vittoria
@vitt.bsky.social
Born and bred in Brussels. Auditioned to be the talking clock. Will write for cash and custard.
Chloe Kelly kicked the ball harder than anyone in the Premier League last season. Just in case anyone still thinks the women’s game isn’t “as fast”. #Lionesses
July 29, 2025 at 7:46 PM
Chloe Kelly kicked the ball harder than anyone in the Premier League last season. Just in case anyone still thinks the women’s game isn’t “as fast”. #Lionesses
MORNING. Today marks 20 years since Brian Harvey ran himself over after eating four tuna mayo jacket potatoes. NEVER FORGET.
May 30, 2025 at 8:14 AM
MORNING. Today marks 20 years since Brian Harvey ran himself over after eating four tuna mayo jacket potatoes. NEVER FORGET.
Happy Easter from Tuscany ❤️
April 20, 2025 at 9:57 AM
Happy Easter from Tuscany ❤️
Sorting out our travel to Gatwick. And it may sound mental but we're just... paying for parking.
April 13, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Sorting out our travel to Gatwick. And it may sound mental but we're just... paying for parking.
Actual girl dinner at work
April 9, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Actual girl dinner at work
One of the funniest things I've ever seen. Joe Wilkinson explains the RNLI and nobody is allowed to laugh. Best 2 mins of TV in a long while.
March 27, 2025 at 6:09 AM
One of the funniest things I've ever seen. Joe Wilkinson explains the RNLI and nobody is allowed to laugh. Best 2 mins of TV in a long while.
41 on Monday. Doing OK.
March 6, 2025 at 11:07 AM
41 on Monday. Doing OK.
this was my NYE. Don't ask.
January 1, 2025 at 5:26 PM
this was my NYE. Don't ask.
Imagine being a Tudor and being shown this, it would blow your little doubleted black death mind.
January 1, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Imagine being a Tudor and being shown this, it would blow your little doubleted black death mind.
Thanks to football, I now have the FIRST day to myself in weeks. Sounds boring but washing on, all sofa covers cleaned, new wax melts burning, Leo and Hanks on the telly, downloading new books, crumpets and nutella and mignonettes all to myself. I'm in heaven.
December 29, 2024 at 1:32 PM
Thanks to football, I now have the FIRST day to myself in weeks. Sounds boring but washing on, all sofa covers cleaned, new wax melts burning, Leo and Hanks on the telly, downloading new books, crumpets and nutella and mignonettes all to myself. I'm in heaven.
Me, all the 12 days of Christmas
December 27, 2024 at 11:17 AM
Me, all the 12 days of Christmas
Was feeling fine then remembered that this week, during an emergency at work, I text my colleague Michael "here if you need anything tonight" re the work emergency, and actually I sent it to "Michael Dropped Kerb" the man who dropped my kerb this summer so that's my sleep ruined.
December 22, 2024 at 8:30 PM
Was feeling fine then remembered that this week, during an emergency at work, I text my colleague Michael "here if you need anything tonight" re the work emergency, and actually I sent it to "Michael Dropped Kerb" the man who dropped my kerb this summer so that's my sleep ruined.
Turns out "all men" isn't fucking far off. Time for you to stop yelling "not all men" at women and start to look in at yourselves, colleagues, team mates, drinking lads, friend, and start calling any misogyny. Time to stop being defensive and simply START STANDING WITH US.
December 22, 2024 at 7:26 PM
Turns out "all men" isn't fucking far off. Time for you to stop yelling "not all men" at women and start to look in at yourselves, colleagues, team mates, drinking lads, friend, and start calling any misogyny. Time to stop being defensive and simply START STANDING WITH US.
UK all through Christmas
December 22, 2024 at 8:05 AM
UK all through Christmas
Reminder of how the rapists viewed Gisele Pelicot. Thank HER for the justice she's getting today. These men deserve to rot in jail, stinking in their own shame.
December 19, 2024 at 10:24 AM
Reminder of how the rapists viewed Gisele Pelicot. Thank HER for the justice she's getting today. These men deserve to rot in jail, stinking in their own shame.