Jacob Evans
@vumpire.bsky.social
Borned on a mountaintop in Tennessee. Hair black as coal, lips red as the rose. Cheerful in all weathers. Fast n bulbous.
This optimism seems so forceful and fake:
ragged eyes kept too long in a box
see cyanide in every city block
and take no comfort in notions of graceful ends
but instead seek solace in wires
still frayed and spitting
28 December 1950
ragged eyes kept too long in a box
see cyanide in every city block
and take no comfort in notions of graceful ends
but instead seek solace in wires
still frayed and spitting
28 December 1950
December 29, 2025 at 5:03 AM
This optimism seems so forceful and fake:
ragged eyes kept too long in a box
see cyanide in every city block
and take no comfort in notions of graceful ends
but instead seek solace in wires
still frayed and spitting
28 December 1950
ragged eyes kept too long in a box
see cyanide in every city block
and take no comfort in notions of graceful ends
but instead seek solace in wires
still frayed and spitting
28 December 1950
Guess who got in a fight
December 28, 2025 at 4:20 PM
Guess who got in a fight
[Laura Palmer's Theme]
December 26, 2025 at 11:46 PM
[Laura Palmer's Theme]
I last got my hair cut here in about 1987 and it looked exactly like this then
December 25, 2025 at 10:31 PM
I last got my hair cut here in about 1987 and it looked exactly like this then
Because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
December 24, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
In my family we say: A naked man has few secrets; a flayed man, none.
December 24, 2025 at 5:21 PM
In my family we say: A naked man has few secrets; a flayed man, none.
"If I get sick like an animal
giving up the ghost
with thoughts of Christmas and Burl Ives..."
@markeitzel.bsky.social
giving up the ghost
with thoughts of Christmas and Burl Ives..."
@markeitzel.bsky.social
December 24, 2025 at 2:40 AM
"If I get sick like an animal
giving up the ghost
with thoughts of Christmas and Burl Ives..."
@markeitzel.bsky.social
giving up the ghost
with thoughts of Christmas and Burl Ives..."
@markeitzel.bsky.social
A little light blasphemy for Christmas
December 24, 2025 at 1:14 AM
A little light blasphemy for Christmas
Merry Vape-mass to all
December 22, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Merry Vape-mass to all
What's the difference, am I right, ladies?
December 22, 2025 at 2:58 PM
What's the difference, am I right, ladies?
Thinking fondly of 2008, when I was making ten bucks an hour and being deeply moved by The National's songs about how awful it would be to work at an advertising agency.
December 22, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Thinking fondly of 2008, when I was making ten bucks an hour and being deeply moved by The National's songs about how awful it would be to work at an advertising agency.
My dad died back in February. Today's his birthday. Here's something I wrote about him years ago
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/4278399...
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/4278399...
December 20, 2025 at 5:14 AM
My dad died back in February. Today's his birthday. Here's something I wrote about him years ago
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/4278399...
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/4278399...
The unbelievable confidence it takes to hire this guy as your lawyer
December 19, 2025 at 11:33 PM
The unbelievable confidence it takes to hire this guy as your lawyer
"You feel like the only person alive as you speed down the interstate, and your brake lights turn your spewing exhaust bloody in the darkness."
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/1692910...
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/1692910...
Crisco Duchess
It’s finally gotten cold here, really cold, turn-your-taps-on cold. It won’t last long--it never does here--but for the next week or two or three, when I get up at four in the morning to go to work,.....
hyenabutter.tumblr.com
December 19, 2025 at 3:15 AM
"You feel like the only person alive as you speed down the interstate, and your brake lights turn your spewing exhaust bloody in the darkness."
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/1692910...
hyenabutter.tumblr.com/post/1692910...
Not to overshare but boy is this a relief
December 17, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Not to overshare but boy is this a relief
She's busy sucking on my chili dog
Oh, just like Sister Ray said
Oh, just like Sister Ray said
December 17, 2025 at 1:59 PM
She's busy sucking on my chili dog
Oh, just like Sister Ray said
Oh, just like Sister Ray said
December 17, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Diggin thru the archives
December 14, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Diggin thru the archives
Instead of thinking of Abraham Lincoln as Our Tallest President why not think of him as Our Longest
December 13, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Instead of thinking of Abraham Lincoln as Our Tallest President why not think of him as Our Longest
This is the kind of stuff I'm into
December 12, 2025 at 2:57 AM
This is the kind of stuff I'm into