Lie. Just lie. It gets you what you want, quicker

Another day scrolling bluesky, muting all the furry smut

New binary discovered: People who can’t intuitively recognize AI slop on the Internet v. People who can

So is it just mostly Canadians here, or did it just figure out I want Canadian content?

One way to feel good is to be as kind and generous as possible in every irl interaction with another human.

Guys I don’t know if you’ve seen, but it’s like really bad out there.

Beer before liquor, never been sicker

Beer before wine, you’ll be fine

Wine before liquor, ew who does that?

AND THE LORD GOD SAID,

If there be two or more people in a profile picture, the profile shall belong to the least attractive one!

Flamingos are pink becuase they eat pink colored things.

Am I meat colored because I eat meat colored things?

ChatGPT: Would you like these gift ideas to be more confrontational or more tongue-in-cheek?

Me: what abt gifts that subtly convey my own low effort, while ostensibly being smth they like

ChatGPT: Got it! Here are some low-effort gift ideas that look like you’re trying but with minimal investment

Like grandma always said:

Happy hole, happy soul.

Working on a way to beat aging by exploiting loopholes in daylight savings time. Stay tuned.

First job as a spy

Handler sends me in to seduce a target for info.

Turns out I’m a prostitute and the “handler” is my pimp.

Me: Voila! A cookie, out of thin air. Here you go little boy.
Boy: wow real magic! Can I eat it?
Magician: no gross that’s been in my pocket all day.