and it doesn't make it better when it's a thing im newly fixated on because ill just want to talk about it more. i feel so annoying.

i love my friends. all of them. i really do. but my mind wants to try and convince me so bad that they think negatively of me every time i lose myself.
it shouldn't even be a big deal, we don't hang out *that* often. but that cycle repeats every single time we do. fuck man.

it repeats every time; i hang out with friends, i have fun, i get carried away, get too excited and don't realize it until its over, then once we call it off for the day im stuck wondering if i was too annoying or hyper.

ive lived with them my whole life i do everything i can for them

im so scared to say amything

i dont even know what to do anymore without messing things up i dont know how youre not sick of me im so sory

ifeel sick i feel like an obstacle i only get in the way i ruin jokes i ruin conversations i ruin everything

i probably upset him