I guess most of all you all were my first ever chosen family as a confused queer kid in the 2010s. Sorry for the ramble! I don’t quite know what my point is in this other than to express gratitude for those of you here, on tumblr, or wherever. I miss what we had but I love what we have. 💙🩵💚

I’m now older than Harry and Louis in most of my favorite fanfics from the 1D era. I’m in my own queer mlm relationship and I thank this fandom for helping me dream of a happier and healthier future.

What I still feel attached to is the fandom. I’ve been in and out of the fandom for years but it’s always been there for me. I think it’s also been hard how over the years (especially as fandoms across the board changed during the pandemic) the fandom shrunk or changed.

Meanwhile I feel like the teens I grew up with are gone (of course they are) and I don’t have the connection I had to them as adults that I did when I was young. This is probably for the best lol again I think it was very parasocial and unhealthy for all involved.

I was really happy to see that other people feel the way I do. I think I’ve matured a lot since I was a 12/13 year old who was watching the video diaries. And recently I’ve been missing one direction a lot. I’m still a fan of their solo work but probably in a healthier more mature way.

If you have an idea let me know 😊 (I haven’t written fic in forever but why not)