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Mostly Harmless

@whalepetunias.bsky.social

610 followers 2 following 5.6K posts

Posting random lines from the 5 Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books by Douglas Adams. Bot by @josephwb.bsky.social, using template code from @philna.sh #HHGG #DouglasAdams #DNA Code: https://github.com/josephwb/whalepetunias

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · Jun 5

"What in the name of zarking fardwarks is the old fool doing?" exploded Ford.

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1h

To deal with this problem they ran with an odd kind of movement as if they'd been constructed by somebody very clever in Switzerland.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 3h

"Ford, I have had a fucking bad night! Will you please try and take that into account while you consider what fascinating bits of badger-sputumly inconsequential trivia to assail me with next?"

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 5h

professional reporter, on home ground, ready for anything. At least, nearly anything. She turned to look for the girl. That must be her, with the wild hair and wild eyes. The girl turned towards her. And stared. "Mother!" she screamed, and started to hurl rocks at Tricia.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 6h

"She wished she'd stayed on Earth! She wished she hadn't gone off with that stupid brain-dead fruit gum, Zaphod! She thinks she would have had a different life!"

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 7h

He had the quiet shifty look of someone who habitually stole bicycles in alleys and habitually didn't expect to find their owners hovering several feet above them.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 11h

His wife of course wanted climbing roses, but he wanted axes. He didn't know why — he just liked axes.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 13h

Zaphod whistled appreciatively.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 15h

Either way, it means that, genetically speaking, each succeeding generation is now less likely to leave than the preceding one.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 17h

Trillian frowned.

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 19h

As one of the Galaxy's most prominent and successful psychiatrists, he and a consortium of his colleagues were quite prepared to spend an awful lot of money when it seemed that the entire future of psychiatry might be at stake.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 20h

"Hey, Earthman," said Zaphod with a malicious grin on the face that wasn't stuffing itself, "what's eating you?"

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 23h

"Getting it to go round corners is a bit of a problem," said the guy behind the sunglasses as he handed them the keys, "sometimes it's simpler just to get out and find a car that's going in that direction."

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"A little space-lagged," he said.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

You will also learn about how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly cock up, and cock up badly, on your first attempt.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

There have recently been some bangs and flashes up in the clouds, and there is one theory that this is a battle being fought between the fleets of several rival carpet-cleaning companies who are hovering over the thing like vultures, but you shouldn't believe anything you hear at parties

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

One rationalization of this problem states that time travel was, by its very nature, discovered simultaneously at all periods of history, but this is clearly bunk. The trouble is that a lot of history is now quite clearly bunk as well.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"We're not obsessed by anything, you see," insisted Ford. "..." "And that's the deciding factor. We can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win."

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

Vogons suffered no illusions as to the regard their works were generally held in. Their early attempts at composition had been part of a bludgeoning insistence that they be accepted as a properly evolved and cultured race, but now the only thing that kept them going was sheer bloodymindedness.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

This suited the Dentrassis fine, because they loved Vogon money, which is one of the hardest currencies in space, but loathed the Vogons themselves.

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"We went through the whole packet like this. Him, me, him, me..." "The whole packet?" "Well it was only eight biscuits but it seemed like a lifetime of biscuits we were getting through at this point. Gladiators could hardly have had a tougher time."

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"Ah, well in fact that won't be necessary," said Frankie mouse. "It looks very much as if we won't be needing the new Earth any longer."

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"The only thing we can do now," said Benji, crouching and stroking his whiskers in thought, "is to try and fake a question, invent one that will sound plausible." "Difficult," said Frankie.

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

Seeing himself for the first time suddenly in a familiar context, he had to admit that the dog had a point. He looked a lot like something a farmer would use to scare birds with

Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 1d

"My great-granddaddy must have really screwed up the computer's works, you know," said Zaphod, "I told it to take us to the nearest place to eat and it sends us to the End of the Universe. Remind me to be nice to it one day."

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Mostly Harmless @whalepetunias.bsky.social · 2d

They gazed at God's Final Message in wonderment, and were slowly and ineffably filled with a great sense of peace, and of final and complete understanding. Fenchurch sighed. "Yes," she said, "that was it."

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