[ * You nod. It hurts more than you'd like to admit. It hurts to care, and it hurts to be cared for. Often, you'd say that to be in pain is to at least know you're alive, but. Fuuuuck, man.

* And it's certainly not like you can just stop giving a shit. ]

[ * You're just the class zombie. You want to be nothing to these people, to be a face in the crowd. Not that you can't be amicable, but... ]

[ * ...You had assumed at some point you just wouldn't be there anymore, and didn't want them to miss you. ]

[ * In some ways, yes. Too much. Sure, you're one of a sparse few humans even close to your home town. Sure, you're one of a sparse few that know about the Dark Worlds, and sure, you feel as though it's your fault your childhood friend is down a sibling and almost down a you. ]

[ * ...But. ]

> I think you'd be banned in my house
❤️ You wouldn't get it

[ * You shake your head, laughter dying off slowly... ]

[ * Something about how your mom would view him, is all. ]

[ * You nod after a beat. ]

[ * He's probably right. Going by the palette alone you can tell the age rating's probably one or two tiers higher... you snicker to yourself, thinking that Toriel would have forbade engaging with these "off-color hooligans," or whatever, if she heard them cursing... ]

[ * ... ]

[ * If you had it your way, you'd call it a band-aid solution. Trying to be better because you weren't able to fix the original problem. ...But that's not how it'll ever be, is it? ]

[ * You settle for a murmured "thank you," your throat tightening up almost by reflex. ]

[ * ...You wouldn't expect him to. It's complicated, you say. You mumble something about your childhood and how badly things have felt since. ]

[ * Not necessarily. Your self-hatred ("your," here, referring to Kriskind) seems to boil over often, is all. ]

[ * At this, you shake your head. You wish - it'd make things a lot easier on you, you think. Not that you'd really be able to help. Kris double interactions rarely end in anything good. ]

[ * You nod. You've seen yourself in poor shape, but this might be a new strain of Doomed. ]

❤️ Happy for you or sorry that happened IDK

[ * Frankly, you're a little worried. It's been a minute since you've caught wind of him. That bad dream of him in the hospital... was that a premonition? ]

[ * ... ]

[ * Certainly not. He BETTER not. You have to tell him that he can't hold that book over your head anymore, damn it! ]

[ * Sure, he's a nerd, and a little annoying in class, and he is completely delusional in regards to his chances with your friends... but, he IS still your friend. You've damned him to online games more times than you can count. ]

[ * He has a good heart. He's... got a lot going on. ]

( @smartracers.bsky.social )

[ BERDLY - Port priority's best frenemy. An unexpected Dark World visitor with an eagle's eye, and a hawk's too. ...Uh, maybe not. ]

[ * Berdly is a tricky subject to approach, and that's not because you dislike him. Honestly, you don't think you do. ]

/ MY BAAAD

/ let's not be too hasty...

[ * You feel bad. If they see you as their sibling you're being an absolutely atrocious one. ]

[ * ...But they wouldn't tell you that. They'd hug you and sign about their day, and you'd sign back, and... hey, what's with the waterworks? ]

[ * Isn't that what you always wanted? ]

[ * Frisk is your sibling. Just as much as Asriel or Cass are. But you've struggled to say that's what they are. It's another open secret and you're not sure why you dance around it so much. ]

[ * Is it because they care so much? Is it because you're worried they'll get hurt if they stick around? ]