Oh he absolutely didn’t! I cannot stress enough how much this man who bragged about his cooking prowess did not know thing one about cooking or food safety

Right? Absolutely bananas

That’s a really good one

It’s been at least a decade since the event and I’m still making that face

Definitely none of it was reasonable. In addition to brining in a febreze bag he left all of the counters downstairs dirty with turkey viscera after his prep and then dropped the bag in the fridge right on top of the beach drinks

I mean I guess I should be glad he put it back in the fridge?

Outlaws said they couldn’t believe he said it looked like chum and they were angry on my behalf. And I was like I don’t care he said that. He’s an ass. I DID care that he asked if I knew what chum was in the most condescending manner possible

Didn’t touch the dinner. Problem was I sort of forgot to tell my husband and stepson what had been going on- they spent those trips staying far away from my MIL and SIL. So I hadn’t seen them that day and they chowed down. Fortunately they survived

Cousin cut it into pieces and pan fried so it was cooked through. The sides sat out for hours while this was going on leading everyone to believe this was finally the day aunt’s loose acceptance of food safety would do us all in

I ate cheese curls washed down with wine in our bedroom

One time at a family vacation in OBX my husband’s aunt’s boyfriend decided he wanted to make thanksgiving dinner for everyone. Bragged about his cooking skills. He dry brined the turkey in a febreze scented garbage bag. Then he cooked it on the grill not long enough and it was mostly raw

A colleague will be hosting her first holiday dinner in December and she was very worried for me that I hadn’t shopped yet and I was like oh I made a list and a project plan years ago so now it’s just the occasional tweak

I perform being organized very well

So first of all she absolutely does not speed but most importantly I can’t believe the woman who once said extremely loudly at a concert OMG IS THAT SMELL MARIJUANA knows what a dime bag is

It’s definitely a rosary- you can just make out a cross under his hand

The excellent news is they all live out of state so I just stopped inviting them