I have exactly 1 productive day a week and I still think I deserve a treat every time

Just waiting for the Duolingo owl to rise like Jesus from the grave

Hopefully soon he’ll put the elon in felon. A girl can dream.

It has come to my attention that there might be microplastics in my brain so that has become my new excuse I will hear no judgment

Where r all the hot ppl at (ur hot if you hate tr*mp)

Ayyyy I’m freakin out ova heer

This just in: No Longer Cool To Go Out On New Year’s Now that I Have Plans for Once

Dontfallasleepdontfallasleepdoooooonnnnnnnnnn

Don’t worry guys I got pad thai everything’s alright now

It’s that time of year again. Don’t forget to update your diary with everything you forgot to write about as it happened like it’s your long-distance friend you never see.

Wtf are we gonna do on Jan 1.
The holidays? Over.
The inauguration? Impending.
The nightmares? Begun.