I just want to feel pretty again

I miss affection

Honestly I don’t know how I made it this far…I’m at the point where I legit just want to end it all….

Like am I so hideous he has to go look for someone else to give his attention too…now I can barely look at myself

I used to feel like a cutie patootie but now I feel like a swamp creature.

It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing a cute dress going out with the girls, it doesn’t matter if I’m dressed like a goth baddie going out to a concert, it doesn’t matter if I look like Adam Sandler and it doesn’t matter if I’m butt ass naked…the man doesn’t see any of it…we are roommates at this point

At this point him getting caught talking to another woman and them getting caught up in something emotional…it didn’t turn physical but emotional it sure did…I guess I blame myself but I just sit here trying to figure out what else can I fucking do?? Like what else…am I that ugly? Is he just bored?

His uniform is clean and folded and set aside for the next day. This man literally doesn’t even have to think because I got him like that. I also work a full time job…I’m just so confused…there is zero affection unless I’m asking for it which I’ve stopped because why should I have to ask??

I feel like I do so much for him…but somehow it’s not enough. I’ve told this man I’d be his own personal sex slave and not even that excites him. I cook. I clean (could be better at that but I’m working on it) he comes home…night clothes are all set up for him…all he has to do his take a shower.

I honestly have no idea what I am doing on here. I didn’t even know this app exist let alone what it is…found it on my “social media less” husbands phone…amongst other things…&he logs out every time he’s done using…so that’s like super cool I guess…&just to be fair “women’s intuition” led me to look

First post? I wanna die. Butttt I have obligations so here I’ll stay.